Expensive cinema trip ruined

[ExpensiveCinema]

I feel really bad posting this but I can’t discuss this in real life as I will feel guilty but I’m really upset so can people please not attack me!

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I am well into my overdraft and have credit card debts. It was my son’s birthday this week and he wanted to go cinema so we went yesterday and it was very expensive: £48 just on tickets for family of 4 - regular seats not even premium! Food cost around £21. (I know I could have saved this money and got my own but he really wanted the little boxes you get there), £8 parking for the time we were there. We haven’t been to the cinema for over 3 or 4 years so this was a treat.

we sat behind a family with what looked like a 12 or 13 year old boy (not too sure but looked this age) and he was making lots of noise which I ignored as kids obviously can’t stay quiet. I heard someone telling them to be quiet which the mum really loudly shouted “HE’S GOT SEN NEEDS!!”. He continued shouting throughout the entire film and then 10 minutes into it he started kicking my chair really hard! He was sat right behind me. I ignored it for a while then asked my youngest if I could sit in his seat and he could sit in my lap which we did. I could still feel the kicking as it was vibrating into my seat. I turned around and asked the family if he could please stop as it’s giving me a headache. They ignored me and I asked again and was told he’s got needs. My son (birthday boy) was upset as he couldn’t watch the film as they were right behind us. The rest of the family were equally loud talking like they’re at home! We left around 40 minutes into the movie as my son was upset.

I totally feel for any mum with a SEN child but this family did NOTHING to stop him impacting others. I feel guilty spending so much money for my son not to enjoy it. In hindsight we could have gone bowling which would have cost less. I’m interested in what others would have done? Would you grin and bear it as he had needs or say something? I’m glad we left as the atmosphere was really horrible there. Is there any way I could get my money back for the tickets? I know they probably won’t refund food or parking. I feel so unlucky that we were right infront of them and I know they impacted others too but this was supposed to be a treat and not an everyday experience for us.

This.

Kid has SEN needs. It doesn't mean he gets to ruin it for you or anyone else. Parents need to do appropriate things for what he can manage. Other people should only make reasonable adjustments - there was nothing reasonable in their expectations.

I would have asked for them to be rejected or to have a refund and compensation for their behaviour if staff weren't prepared to deal with it.

You don’t even need to go into it with the other disruptive person, just calmly walk out and talk to a member of staff and they would have probably either moved you if possible or given you comped tickets.

Sorry your cinema visit was ruined and hope you get some sort of a refund. Maybe others have complained.

My guess is the staff wouldn’t do a thing!

How awful for you. I have three autistic boys and would never have allowed this to happen. If we went to the cinema, we went to the special screenings.

Also, like everything else, there is a prevalence of people just thinking about themselves as well as lazy as fuck parenting. I have seen a lot of parents of Sen children just giving excuses and not even trying to correct behaviour. It is a real shame for the child because often, they can learn to cope better and behave in public. Mine certainly did, eventually...

If your child’s SEN is that bad you shouldn’t be taking them to a regular cinema screening, only special ones. There are plenty of screenings specifically for autistic kids etc.

My DS has SEN and is about this age. He CANNOT stop talking through films however much I tell him but we always sit well away from anyone else. He's apologetic when told but forgets 5 mins later so I try to keep the "ssh" quiet and frequent.

If he kicked someone's seat we'd be out of there faster than you could say "that's your last warning".

Also this.

That's a wild guess considering how many cinema screens there are in the UK and individual staff members.

I've seen staff go in and remove a whole group of unaccompanied kids who were shining phone torches around, and running up and down the steps in the middle of the screening.

One even returned and removed a kid who was hiding on the floor between seats.

Not true. Most cinema staff are kids but I’m sure they could have organised a refund or alternative tickets if the parent refused to do anything.

This (and the prices) are why people don't go to the cinema anymore. Cinema staff need to start enforcing standards of behaviour.

You should have moved to the premium seats.
Next time just do that.

If anyone came to say somethingvyou say why but once film starts no one is likely to say anything

But they can't if people don't tell them about the behaviour in the first place.

Obviously the family were in the wrong for the way they managed it but there were two very obvious solutions. Speak to a member of staff or move to the other seats, if you were questioned about moving (which I doubt you would as I've never seen a staff member going around checking mid film) you can explain what happened then. I would be surprised if the cinema gave you a refund if you didn't raise it at the time.

Defo shpuld have spoken to a staff member who cpuld have moved you or them or refunded ypu tp return another day

Could you have moved?
Are you sure you didn’t book a “relaxed” viewing?

Either way I would have moved or if there were no seats I’d have talked to a staff member and asked for tickets to the next showing instead (or a refund).
I would still be tempted to complain to the cinema now and explain the situation, see if they will give you tickets to see the film another time.

Not acceptable, and I speak as a mum of a child who had needs (still does as an adult) and who would have done this.

I didn't do cinema until I could see he could concentrate on a DVD at home so he was about 7 the first time he went but even then the expectation was clear. Either he behaved in a generally acceptable manner or we left. I would bribe him with a McDonalds afterwards if we managed to do the whole film or if he requested to leave if he was struggling.

In the same circumstances I would have moved to the empty seats once the film had started, as they were unlikely to be sold by that stage, so fairly small likelihood of anyone moaning you were in their seat.

If it is a big chain cinema they can be very accommodating. I had to leave a film once as we were sitting right at the front and I was getting motion type sickness. They refunded my money without a quibble. It is possible other families mentioned the noise so I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I have had refund by emailing the next day.
There was a large family ,the adult's clearly drunk and they ended up having a fight in the middle of a film. Can't remember which film, but it was a kids one.
We missed about 30mins of the film as that's how long it took staff to try and break it up and evict them.
Its definitely worth trying to get a refund.

I have had refund by emailing the next day.
There was a large family ,the adult's clearly drunk and they ended up having a fight in the middle of a film. Can't remember which film, but it was a kids one.
We missed about 30mins of the film as that's how long it took staff to try and break it up and evict them.
Its definitely worth trying to get a refund.

Is there any chance you went to a showing that permitted extra noise etc..?

Such showings do exist..the lighting is changed and noise levels corrected etc..

I doubt you did; as other people spoke up too...but just to say there is a place at cinemas for SEN children and adults

This is my DD too, she needs to check out she’s understanding the storyline. We wait to see movies when the cinema is quieter, sit away from people as much as possible and frequent reminders to be quiet.

If she was kicking someone else’s chair or generally wasn’t coping we’d be out of there quicker than “sit still and be quiet”.

I would go back and speak to cinema - he is prob known to them and they might let you in free for a screening

Main lesson op is

Move seats
Speak up to staff
Ask if you can go to the next showing same day
Ask for refund there and then

Good lessons for any future issues in any circumstance .be polite calm and ask . Speak up.

This is a pretty clear cut case for a refund because the staff had to get involved.

If no-one else complains about the family in the OP, then it's not so clear cut as there would be no evidence that the OP doesn't just fancy her money back.

I think she'll stand a better chance of getting more tickets for the same movie, rather than an actual refund.