Expensive cinema trip ruined

[ExpensiveCinema]

I feel really bad posting this but I can’t discuss this in real life as I will feel guilty but I’m really upset so can people please not attack me!

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I am well into my overdraft and have credit card debts. It was my son’s birthday this week and he wanted to go cinema so we went yesterday and it was very expensive: £48 just on tickets for family of 4 - regular seats not even premium! Food cost around £21. (I know I could have saved this money and got my own but he really wanted the little boxes you get there), £8 parking for the time we were there. We haven’t been to the cinema for over 3 or 4 years so this was a treat.

we sat behind a family with what looked like a 12 or 13 year old boy (not too sure but looked this age) and he was making lots of noise which I ignored as kids obviously can’t stay quiet. I heard someone telling them to be quiet which the mum really loudly shouted “HE’S GOT SEN NEEDS!!”. He continued shouting throughout the entire film and then 10 minutes into it he started kicking my chair really hard! He was sat right behind me. I ignored it for a while then asked my youngest if I could sit in his seat and he could sit in my lap which we did. I could still feel the kicking as it was vibrating into my seat. I turned around and asked the family if he could please stop as it’s giving me a headache. They ignored me and I asked again and was told he’s got needs. My son (birthday boy) was upset as he couldn’t watch the film as they were right behind us. The rest of the family were equally loud talking like they’re at home! We left around 40 minutes into the movie as my son was upset.

I totally feel for any mum with a SEN child but this family did NOTHING to stop him impacting others. I feel guilty spending so much money for my son not to enjoy it. In hindsight we could have gone bowling which would have cost less. I’m interested in what others would have done? Would you grin and bear it as he had needs or say something? I’m glad we left as the atmosphere was really horrible there. Is there any way I could get my money back for the tickets? I know they probably won’t refund food or parking. I feel so unlucky that we were right infront of them and I know they impacted others too but this was supposed to be a treat and not an everyday experience for us.

you should have found a staff member at the time so that they could deal with it. They might have given you a refund then. They might offer you a complimentary ticket if you explain it ruined his birthday, but they don't have to and they won't cover other costs. DD went to the cinema and the film didn't run due to technical issues, and they wouldn't refund anyone's snacks that they had bought

SEN does not give you rights to disrupt everyone else's viewing. I say that as a parent of a SEN child, and have removed her from things in the past.

I have friends with DC with SEN and they still teach them right from wrong and remove them from situations when they disrupt things.

Were you sitting behind or in front of them? It seems to say both?

You should be spoken to the staff. Or moved. Or both. It's a shame as at this point here's little you can do. As technically you did get to 'watch' the film and didn't say anything.

You are not being unreasonable and I hope the cinema give you tickets for a future screening.

I think you were right not to confront the family. Any decent parent with a SEN or disabled child will know this behaviour isn’t acceptable. All children have ‘needs’ but children also need to have boundaries, or if they don’t understand then you take them out.

As PP says, there are screenings specifically for SEN, where the lighting is on, the sound lower and people expect children to be walking around or making noises.

I’ m sorry your son’s birthday treat was ruined and hope you get to speak to an understanding person from the cinema.

Definitely should have complained. It's not on. They have SEN screenings at most cinemas. They should have gone to that!!

You just tell the staff at the time who can confirm your experience and do something-which probably would be a refund for you or move you to a later showing. Removing that family would have caused more distraction for everyone else in the cinema.
emailing today they may or may not believe you, there is no proof you left early?

OP I would go back to the cinema and explain politely what happened. You might get a credit voucher if they are a decent company.

The rest of the family were equally loud talking like they’re at home!

So not only was the Son making noise, but the rest of the Family were too? I am quite surprised that nobody else in the screening, went and complained to a staff member.

Do send an email, always worth it and if you explain that you didn’t say anything at the time as you didn’t want to make the other family feel awkward then you never know, they may give you a voucher?
Anyway I think I’d have done the same as you did.
I hope your little boy enjoyed the rest of his birthday.
And I just want to say that I’ve been in your shoes, in my overdraft, CC debt but determined my children enjoyed their birthdays and did not suffer. It will get better and I’m in a better place now. Hang on in there x

as pps have said, the time to try and sort it was then! I used to work in a cinema, we'd always try and resolve it if people had issues at the time (even the person who came out of a horror film 20 mins in and threw up on the floor got their money back!) but used to hate people who only complained afterwards.

If you can tell them the exact time you left and what screen they almost definitely will have CCTV so could check it, but it's a lot more inconvenient for them - if you'd said at the time they would have just said 'move into the premier seats' which wouldn't cost them anything compared to a £48 refund.

For the future, do you have any other cinemas near you that are a bit cheaper?
There's usually a huge variation in price that might mean it's worth driving a bit further. In my city there's at least 6 cinemas, for a family of 4, you could spend £70 plus £10 parking for the everyman, or £26 with free parking at the odeon.
Going on a tuesday or wednesday with a meerkat voucher (can get a year's worth with a travel insurance policy for a 1 day trip - which you could just make up and don't even have to actually take!) would reduce it down to £13.

Spending £21 on cinema food when you're hugely into your overdraft is insane, sorry. Fair enough if your son wanted one of the 'little boxes' for his birthday but why did the rest of the family need them? I don't mean to kick you when you're down, but you probably wouldn't be feeling as gutted if a £20 day out had been ruined compared to an £80 one.

I would email cinema today to see if they can offer you some vouchers

If you want to go back on my Vodafone I can get 4 tickets at odean for £16.00 happy to send you the code if it helps.

@ExpensiveCinema must be really annoying the amount of comments you’re getting saying you should have told a staff member at the time. As if that’s helpful to you now 🙄 Sorry your trip was ruined. No harm in complaining to the cinema now to see if you can get some money back or free tickets to another show maybe? If I had a kid that I knew would behave like that I just wouldn’t take him to a cinema.

Was there any free seats? Could have asked staff to move seats. I have had this before and got a refund. Sorry it ruined his birthday.
could you pretend at home get some sweets and popcorn rent a film and get cosy we did this in lockdown when it was my boys birthday.

Everyone has different needs and we act accordingly. For example.. if you have a toddler you do not take them to a classical concert because they would disturb others. In the same way if you have a child with SN who cannot behave appropriately in the cinema without disturbing others then you do not take them. Did no one on the staff not see what was going on?

My guess is that they would try and resolve the situation, why would you assume that no cinema cares about their customers enjoyment?

I often notice a defeatist attitude on here to asserting oneself in general consumer related issues. So many posters have said it's too late, why? What possible negative could there be to politely sticking up for yourself?

If your child can’t behave in a cinema then don’t take them.. regardless of reason. If a baby was crying in there the mother wouldn’t shout back that it wasn’t the baby’s fault.. it’s just not an appropriate environment for them. You don’t need to have the confidence to demand things.. just quietly leaving and telling the cinema staff you weren’t able to enjoy the film because of the child’s behaviour should trigger them to offer a refund or remove the child.

As others have said, I’d have either gone to speak to a member of staff or just moved to the premium seats. If someone came and asked you to move, I’d explain why I did. Mind you, my local cinema doesn’t have premium seats. Never heard of it in a cinema!
Was your DH/partner with you? Couldn’t they have gone and spoken to someone?

This is just so painful to read that you didn’t speak to a staff member as you were leaving.
You didn’t need to have a confrontation in the cinema, just get a credit to use another evening

there are “relaxed” screenings that the family could have taken their child to. As the parent of a child with SEN this is also frustrating for me to read that they were so selfish. I am
Always mindful of how my dc’s behaviour impacts others

My dc have SEN and I didn't take them to the cinema until I knew they could sit through a film at home.

Lesson learned - next time you need to speak to a staff member. Sorry you had a crap experience.

Not too late to complain.. I bought 10 tickets to see a PG film. Family in front had 2 small dc and a new baby. Which she stood up with shushing it the entire film.

I got 10 free tickets...

If it annoyed the OP in the same way it annoys you, she wouldn't have written...

"I’m interested in what others would have done? Would you grin and bear it as he had needs or say something?"

I would definitely send an email, but also go back to the cinema in person. It is likely you are not the only person to have complained. Explain that you did not complain at the time as you were trying to salvage the remainder of your son's birthday. Be prepared not to receive a refund, but to be given vouchers/free tickets, as this seems to be the norm.

I understand you not wanting to confront the family, and commend you giving them the respect they failed to give anyone else. Unfortunately this was likely a trip for the extremely rude family, as oposed to the SEN child - as they were clearly not regulated in that setting. Sickening to know they ruined the experience for others and probably had discounted tickets to boot! They need to bring back chaperone ushers who sit in the theatre for the duration of the film.

I feel sympathy for the family, but there are ‘ loud showings’ in nearly all cinemas and theatres now. I work with people with LD and other SEN and we look for these showings and go with them to them, not the regular ones. Becuase whilst their conditions and how they manifest are not their fault they do impact on other people which isn’t fair if it can be avoided. PP are right though, you should have spoken to cinema staff there and then, through I appreciate it feels mean to do so.

I feel sympathy for the family, but there are ‘ loud showings’ in nearly all cinemas and theatres now. I work with people with LD and other SEN and we look for these showings and go with them to them, not the regular ones. Becuase whilst their conditions and how they manifest are not their fault they do impact on other people which isn’t fair if it can be avoided. PP are right though, you should have spoken to cinema staff there and then, through I appreciate it feels mean to do so.

I feel sympathy for the family, but there are ‘ loud showings’ in nearly all cinemas and theatres now. I work with people with LD and other SEN and we look for these showings and go with them to them, not the regular ones. Becuase whilst their conditions and how they manifest are not their fault they do impact on other people which isn’t fair if it can be avoided. PP are right though, you should have spoken to cinema staff there and then, through I appreciate it feels mean to do so.