AIBU to be turned off by unwashed hands and a small package?

[Tink3rbell30]

I've recently been dating again after a bad experience and long break. I have known this person years and we have chatted quite often so the familiarity is there. 2 things: he has a very small package and the whole thing was just very awkward and it didn't really work. And after a random conversation it turns out that he doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet (both a wee and poo). I'm really fussy with cleanliness and to me that is very basic hygiene.

AIBU to do a 180 turn on the whole thing? He is trying to make plans to see me this weekend as we speak. My friend says give it another meet up and see as sex is always very awkward at first but it's the hand washing thing aswell.

Yeah. What DOES he have ???

I thought this thread was going to be about an Amazon delivery driver or something. I was not expecting a discussion about some bloke’s teenis (teeny penis) 😫

He seems proud to have poor hygiene.
He doesn't care. For some reason.

Or he's a bit thick.

You should be brave, straight enough to tell him that's a no go for you, and your home/family.
People need basic hygiene and its bad for your health. And its a turn off.

Tell him straight. For his and your sake. You're not a dustbin. You are worth more.

If he's genuinely a bit stupid and needs educating he might change his ways, but you are clever enough to write here, and perhaps he isn't.

So a massive mis match.

Sounds like a right catch , I'm desperate for a guy like that 🤣

Apart from basic hygiene, every man should wash his hands at least before touching a woman, not to mention other bits. Heaven knows what sort of gifts he will bring you otherwise. The same for women of course. That's the ideal anyway. If al fresco sex is mooted, enjoy and wash after.

That's even worse. I'd be questioning his IQ.

If he doesn't wash his hands he likely doesn't wash anywhere else properly id stop seeing them because that is disgusting

Tell your friend to date him !

The not washing hands thing is awful but very common among men, I think. I was in the house of who I’d previously considered a well-presented man and there wasn't any form of soap or handwash at the sink.

So Im not shocked he doesn't do it but i am shocked he admits to it. He clearly doesnt realise it might be unattractive to you. Id tell him straight - you dont want him touching you (or any of your things) with unwashed hands.

Your mate should date him if she thinks he sounds so good, Op.
though in reality I highly doubt she would want his unwashed fingers in her fanny

If you read other posts on mn on the subject there are plenty of posts about studies and anecdotal evidence to support that this is very much not "normal" for men.

Eg numerous posts about cleaners/venue managers referencing the very significant difference in how often they have to replace soap in mens toilets versus replacing in womens.

Other men have posted in these other threads too to say the same.

If you read upthread there is a post from a man saying that this is very much not 'normal' from what he was witnessed as a men's toilet user.

If you choose to believe every man that says they do and expresses disgust that other's don't is up to you. Personally I don't.

If you've got as far as trying to have sex with him it's no longer dating dear and if he admits he doesn't wash his hands his actual hygiene is probably worse, why admit you didn't wash hands, it's hardly attractive, dump and block him and as extra revenge write to company he works for

😆 🤣

BTW judging on small package is shallow and you should be ashamed of yourself

Men judge women on their bodies and have done since Eve. I think the OP is entitled to give some payback.

@Salyexley

i don’t think she was ‘judging’ him, dear, she was just honest that the size of his penis wasn’t conducive to her sexual satisfaction, that is her prerogative.

Perfect opportunity to dump him now without having to mention the micropenis. It's better to dump someone for their behaviour than for something they can't help.

Lol. Well I'd rather be shallow than have a lifetime of dissatisfaction.
I'm sure plenty of people would be perfectly fine with a more compact package. Each to their own.

I'm more worried for the 3% who think you're being unreasonable 🤢

😖

Right!! Who has voted OP is being unreasonable and why?!

People with shitty hands, perhaps?

That is so weird suggesting your asexual for that shes mad!

Most people - especially men - judge partners on superficial “shallow” things. Some women don’t like bald men, short men, older men, younger, men who they find ugly, men with beards or beardless men.

Plenty of men don’t want to be with a woman with a larger stomach, or a double chin or back rolls of fat. Some men don’t want a woman with a flat chest or flat butt. The vast majority of men want women they view as being physically attractive in the face and/or body.

You even get some who only go for blondes even though hair colour can easily be changed and is usually out of a bottle.

Unless OPs partner is one of the rare exceptions he will have chosen her at least partly based on superficial attributes.

I haven't heard from him today either but I know what to say when I do. I'm also not being 'nasty' about his package, I would never mention it to him. I'm just describing the situation honestly on here to get opinions. We are talking 4" hard, skinny, certain positions just would not work.. and the use of (unwashed 🤢😩) fingers didn't do it for me either, it was uncomfortable.
My friend still insists I'm wrong but I know I'm not now. And no he wasn't winding me up about being a non hand washer. He was very nonchalant about it and insisted it was fine. Will update with his response when he brings up trying to arrange a repeat performance.