AIBU to be upset partner changed his gmail password?

[Sunshine2361]

My partner is miserable in his job, he’s desperate for a new one so I’ve been helping him by doing job applications for him. He says he can’t do them himself as he has no time and he doesn’t know how to do them properly. I work full time so I’ve been fitting it in on a morning before work, between doing the school run for 2 kids. His indeed job account is linked to his gmail so to log in, I had to log into his gmail account. I did a couple of applications for him this morning then I came back from the school run and he’d sent me a load of texts saying how dare I access his gmail account and he has changed the password and I am never to access it again. AIBU to be really upset since I was literally trying to help him. I didn’t even go into his emails I just used his log in to access his indeed account

I disagree.

I think the main question is why OPs thread title is about her being upset over DH changing his password - rather than why he’s acting like a child and having to apply for jobs for him in the first place. And then him throwing a tantrum over it because mummy didn’t do it right.

This relationship is absolutely ridiculous.

I think some women enjoy it.

Theres no way OP can have kids, work FT and then mother her DH like this if she didn’t enjoy it.
You would just say no surely.

Most people would have told him to grow up and do it himself.

I never understand on here why people can't have access to their DH's phone/email/post and see it as some kind of violation. Neither of us think twice about it in out house, in fact we share the same email address as it makes things much easier. Whoever's home will open the post.

All this secret squirrel 'I'm entitled to my privacy' stuff is just weird to me. What is it you need to keep private exactly?

As far as I'm concerned there's something dodgy about this as he's not going to be having important private client information on a flipping gmail account!

I'd be very sus personally OP and I certainly wouldn't be doing any more applications for him with that attitude.

Oh what a pampered little arse he’s being
definitely NU

after his reaction I would tell him he’s on his own that I would be happy to look over anything if he wanted me to

in fact it’s a fucking relief really darling I can’t do the job applications for you asked for by you without access

although there is nothing more suspicious than his reaction - I would now want to know what he’s hiding

Helping someone with applications and doing it for them are two different things, take a massive step back.

That’s a very extreme reaction from your DH, particularly as it happened in the course of you helping him do something for him that he somehow turned into your responsibility.

To be fair to your DH (not that he is showing you the same courtesy), in retelling the story, lots of people jumped to the same conclusion and assumed you had accessed his emails. Maybe it just surprised him, or maybe he has something to hide in there - who knows. But to behave like that when you were trying to help must have been really upsetting for you. Does he usually behave like a stroppy teenager?!

On the bright side, you can no longer help him, and he’ll have to do his own applications now, so he’s inadvertently saved you a bit of time at least

op, deep breath. You’ve been setting yourself on fire to keep him warm and he’s spat on you for it. You have kids who it sounds like only have one active parent, you, which makes you absolutely essential. You need to look after yourself. The good news is that was the last crappy job application you ever send for him, and you tell him that today. Sit down and have a think about what separation looks like because he doesn’t sound worth it.

Let him do his own applications from now on.
What a bast**d. Doing him a favour and he treats you like that.
Wonder what he's got to hide.

Folks are really missing rhe point here. So what’s happened is you logged onto indeed, he got a notification saying you’d logged onto his gmail account, he got angry for the invasion of privacy as he wasn’t aware you’d not accessed but were using indeed, he should have simply said did you access my emails and why,

I woiuld NEVER dream of looking at hubby email
I would be fd off if he looked at mine
Would you open someone else post

kindly OP, stop mothering him

This basically sums it up in a nutshell.

She didn't look at his email.

Oh why am I bothering, nobody reads the thread!

Yanbu - time to stop helping him send job applications - everything he asks say no sorry I dont want to get shouted at again for doing something you asked me to do.
What a POS

He either doesn't understand how Indeed works (most likely) or he's intentionally messing around with you, asking you to do something then berating you for doing it. Stop doing his applications for him; no one likes doing this stuff but he needs to learn and if he's not able to handle applying he's not going to land the job or be able to keep it, so you're not doing him any favours in the long run.

(Also, PLEASE say that the two young children aren't his - because if he's expecting you to do this shite and howling at you about it AND you're doing all the hands-on childcare, the situation is really out of control).

Maybe he got a notification that made him think you were accessing his emails rather than logging in via gmail.

Leave him to it then. Tell him you tried to help mans it wasn’t acceptable.

Stop doing them for him anyway.

He has more time than you, I expect.

Weaponised incompetence.

Just don’t do it.

You didn’t access his emails (louder for those at the back!).

Maybe he misunderstood and is feeling sensitive about the situation but he needs to grow up and either accept support or do it himself.

So don't do it. Why are you doing this?!
He is not working 24/7. Not having time is a shit excuse. Not knowing "how to do it properly" is also a shit excuse. He can't be arsed so he found an easy solution. If he can't even fill in an application, I am not sure he is qualified for the jobs you are applying for on his behalf.

But she still logged into his email account.

Would you be ok with your DH going onto your MN account of opening your diary, even if he didn’t read any of it?

I wouldn’t be applying for any jobs for my DH but if I did and it meant logging into someone’s email then I’d tell them before doing it and see if it was ok.

At work we sometimes use each others PC to print something out without needing them to log off.
Their email account is open but I would never think to check it. Not purely because it wouldn’t be allowed but because I’m not nosey and respect their privacy.
Why would I treat my coworkers with more respect for my DP.

She logged into his email account WITH HIS KNOWLEDGE AND PERMISSION!!!!! She was filing out job applications for the lazy arsehole!!! Even on Sunday she was doing that not him!!!

So have you responded to say you only logged onto Indeed and not Gmail and he can apply for his own jobs from now on?

Stop doing the applications for him. Easy. (I never would have started in the first place)