AIBU to be upset partner changed his gmail password?

[Sunshine2361]

My partner is miserable in his job, he’s desperate for a new one so I’ve been helping him by doing job applications for him. He says he can’t do them himself as he has no time and he doesn’t know how to do them properly. I work full time so I’ve been fitting it in on a morning before work, between doing the school run for 2 kids. His indeed job account is linked to his gmail so to log in, I had to log into his gmail account. I did a couple of applications for him this morning then I came back from the school run and he’d sent me a load of texts saying how dare I access his gmail account and he has changed the password and I am never to access it again. AIBU to be really upset since I was literally trying to help him. I didn’t even go into his emails I just used his log in to access his indeed account

I wouldn't be upset about it, but I'd be pissed off at the way he's gone at you for it.
You say you set it up together on Sunday so he must be aware you have to log in using his details. I can only assume he's not very savvy with how it works and he's assumed by logging in on indeed, that means you've accessed the email account as well.
You've tried to do a nice thing and help him out, it's bit you on the arse so I wouldn't bother helping again. Even if he has assumed you've accessed his actual emails, he could have just spoken to you about it before going mad

I am surprised at the replies. Of course you need access to an email account when applying for jobs,

If that is how he is going to show gratitude after you using all your spare time to help him, stuff it, he can do it.

Completely agree with this. Regardless of the gmail issue, he can and should do them himself. This jumped out at me from the off -

I’ve been helping him by doing job applications for him. He says he can’t do them himself as he has no time and he doesn’t know how to do them properly.

Unless he has some learning disability, he can do them as properly as the next person and is being feeble making you do it - and then complaining about it! Leave it up to him and don't be run ragged by his misery and incompetence.

I haven't read the full thread yet so may be answered already, but where you accessing his email or his Indeed?

I think he's got a bloody cheek talking to you like that when you are doing him such a massive favour. He could have spoken to you calmly to clear it all up.

FWIW, I agree that he should be doing it himself. I also think you've had some very harsh and unfair replies on here.

The main question is what is in his gmail emails that has him riled up that you had seen them?

Only someone who is guilty of doing something that their partner wouldn’t be happy about - porn/gambling/dating sites - would react like that ime

This is so weird. Why are you doing applications for a grown adult?

Absolutely this.

In guilty of nothing but I would be fuming and feel as thought my privacy was violated if anyone went on to my emails
just the same as opening someone else mail or looking through their phone

I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE but I would be off like a rocket if someone did this to me I really value my privacy and respect others

Ok with the extra information about how you both set up the indeed account together - maybe he forgot / failed to understand that his gmail id and password are the thing you use to get back into indeed. Then today, he got one of those notifications from gmail telling him that someone has logged into his account - that's you using his gmail credentials for the indeed account - and thought it meant you had gone into his emails? So I can see why he was pissed off.

However! Once you have explained the above, and that you can only apply for jobs on his behalf like he asked you to do if you are able to log into his indeed account using his gmail password, he should bloody well apologise profusely.

But yeah, what everyone else said. He should do his own admin. * *

But she didn't go into his emails - she accessed his Indeed account linked to his Google ID. He would get emails when she made a submission on his behalf.

Which she shouldn't be doing because he's an ungrateful douche spoon

I don't think you did anything wrong OP, he is being an ungrateful arse about it in my opinion. As you are stressed out from doing the lion's share of the household / kids stuff, get him to take more responsibility for his job seeking.

What does he do for work that he can't do a form filling exercise properly? He just doesn't want to do it so his PA (wife) can do the pain in the arse stuff.

What else do you do for him that he can't do properly?

He can’t have it both ways.

He cannot expect you to be his personal secretary, on top of your full time job and doing the majority of childcare and housework 🙄, yet not allow you to use his correspondence address which enables you to do those admin tasks.

He's an ungrateful twat and, I would presume, has something to hide in his emails.

Tell him to do his own applications from now on.

You do know that some of us have things we prefer to keep private that are not for nefarious reasons? I gave the example earlier of my husband's involvement in politics. He deals with issues relating to other people's private and personal information that I have no right to have sight of.

I don't believe that OP has done anything wrong, but please stop with the nonsense that people only have privacy because they are cheating.

He is entitled to privacy, but I’d tell him to sort his own job applications out going forward. He can’t have his cake and eat it.

Are you fucking kidding me why are you doing this for him?! Ffs, some women really don’t help themselves 🤦🏻‍♀️

This would put me off this guy - he sounds lazy and entitled.
Also why is he so angry with you when you’re trying to help? This is yet another off putting trait of his.
I bet you can do a lot better than this one!

Who the fuck would want to employ a fully grown adult who couldn’t even be arsed to fill the application in himself.

This is like my friend who constantly whinges about being put upon by her husband. Packs his suitcase for him when he goes away etc.

It is infuriating to listen to. Just don’t do it ffs.

He should be completing and sending his own job applications. If he does not have time to do this, he should deprioritise something else.

Good news then. Tell him he'll have to do his own job applications and don't speak of it again.

If the word 'no' is not in your vocabulary, now would be a good time to start using it.

Do you share a SM account as well?