To think we should get the best room in a villa?

[hwange]

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

• One room for me and my husband
• One room for our older son and his girlfriend
• One room for our younger son
• Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

As all are paying the same it should be organiser or you draw names from a hat.

Organiser gets it

You’re one of those that doesn’t appreciate the work involved with booking a holiday! Just choose a house? Bit more involved than that, just getting dates right can be an issue.

I wouldn’t want to organise anything for someone as unappreciative or effort as you.

Frankly, I wouldn’t sharp elbow my own adult kids for the “best room”.

God life must be such a toil for you if you find things like that difficult!

Don’t find it difficult, I’m a great organiser! That’s not to say that I like doing it for unappreciative “guests”.

Organiser gets it. But if the organiser happened to be 60, then she would be called entitled if she expected to get it.

OP are you ever going to come back and tell us why you think you deserve the best room?

No, she wouldn't. If the OP had been the organiser, everyone would have supported her. She isn't being discriminated against for her age, merely being told that it doesn't entitle her to preferential treatment.

I doubt it. I bet she thought that she would be propped up by a lot of people who think that non preferential treatment is 'ageism', and when that didn't happen, she skedaddled.

No true.

It can ge time consuming. I spend hours comparing different websites for accommodation, location, facilities, price, reviews, suitability for everyone in the party etc. Then if it's not a package deal you have to see what flights are available on what dates, times etc. It's not a case of opening up a brochure and hey presto, the perfect holiday lands in your lap. I wish it was!

Rubbish!

Yea I agree. Researching locations, then researching villas, checking the amenities are suitable, good location to beach/restaurants, then checking suitable flights… it’s not difficult I find it fun and exciting, but it is hugely time consuming- especially when booking for a mixed group with different non-negotiables etc.

She didn't even feel the need to claim age as her (very shaky) 'reason' - I think we were all just left to assume that was 'obviously' why she deserved priority. She gave no reason whatsoever. It's as meaningful as starting a thread asking "I have a spare ticket for a concert and I have two friends who I know would like to go with me - Laura and Catherine - which of them do you strangers on MN think I should invite along?"

The only other possible 'justification' could have been "I think I'm just great, so I'm right in thinking that I automatically deserve preferential treatment, aren't I?"

If there had been any genuine reason, surely she would have said? If, say, OP or her DH were a wheelchair user and the nicest bedroom happened to be the only one on the ground floor... but in a scenario like that, who on earth would be envisioning anything other than them having it as a matter of course?

Non-organisers always seem to assume that organising things is a five-minute job... yet, oddly enough, they still see it as way beyond their own capabilities to do.

See also people who are talented artists, who have 'friends' asking them to 'just' do them a large watercolour painting of a loved one as a present for their milestone birthday in three days' time... but don't worry, they're willing to give you a tenner for your efforts and will also generously chuck an extra fiver your way for materials...

OP perhaps you can shed some light on a question that’s cropped up on one or two threads recently.

Why do people start threads and then just fuck off? Any thoughts?

In OP's case, I think it's because she expected people to side with her and they didn't. At least she cleared off rather that give a dripfeed explaining that her son's GF is actually a serial killer or whatever excuse people use when a thread isn't going their way.

I thought you were going to say you’d paid for it all, in which case it would obviously be you with the nicest room, but as you’re all paying the same I’d draw names out of a hat.

I’m always the organiser of these things in our family but unless we’ve paid for it all as well (which we often do) I wouldn’t expect first dibs on the rooms.

Sometimes it’s just obvious who has which one, ie one single person and one single room. Also if we were away with our kids and their spouses and there were only one king sized bed, we’d probably offer it to DD and DSIL because DSIL is 6ft3 and he’d have a much better time if he’d got room to sleep! Other than that I can’t see why you think you should have the best room…..

Organiser allocates rooms

No I don’t think you should get the best room and I think the cost should have been split 5 ways with you and your husband paying for 2/5, your older son and gf paying 2/5 and younger son paying 1/5. Organiser gets first pick. We do family villa holidays every year with DDs, SIL and DGD and have never insisted on the best room even though we pay for the villa as we have more spare money. We are usually offered it but would never insist.

The OP’s already confirmed that the cost was split 5 ways, not 3.

The organiser gets the best room, I would have said.

She's put in time and effort, so has effectively paid more than you.

I think OP and her husband should get the bigger and better room. They’re older and chances are they may not have very many years of travel before them. Their son and gf, due to their youth, have many more opportunities of having the “primary suite.” Plus having one person sulking and walking around with a face like a slapped arse ruins the holiday for every one. Let them have it.

They're 60 (assuming op is the same age as her dh), not 80. Most people I know who have retired (so older than op) travel way more than they did when they were younger.