To think we should get the best room in a villa?

[hwange]

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

• One room for me and my husband
• One room for our older son and his girlfriend
• One room for our younger son
• Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

Well it is kinda weirdly written, but meh, I agree on seniority which is why they also usually pay or contribute as it’s a recognition of that,

It sounds hierarchical, not smug. It’s how my in-laws think and it doesn’t go down well with wider family.

Why are so many people missing that it’s also a milestone birthday for the son?

definitely this. I don't understand why it is even a question & why you think you are entitled to the best room

Organiser gets the best room

Had you been paying for the whole villa, you might have a leg to stand on.

The organiser gets the best room.

I think it's shocking that you think you're entitled to the best room given you're paying no more than anyone else, you think it's fine to calculate costs on a per person basis despite being a couple and parents, you're not doing any of the legwork, you're not treating anyone to anything.

Why do you think you should get the best room? Because you're older? If you're older you should be taking more responsibility: organizing, or paying, or both. Because it's your DH's 60th? It's not your birthday and it's your son's 30th and his gf is doing all the work. They're obviously entitled to the best room. I'm betting that makes you bristle, doesn't it?

Frankly, you're a chancer. This all sounds quite ick. Poor youngest son - getting the shittiest end of the deal (there are two smaller bedrooms too for the couples who want their own space), and somehow thinking it's fair enough. Poor kid.

Will you all be splitting bills down by the number of drinks you consume each, with you expecting to be treated to your share?

If your son had done the organising it would be in his gift to offer you the best room. Since his partner organised it - for his special birthday - they get the best room.

Why would you be more important to her, than he is?

And if offered out of politeness, I’d be bit shocked if you didn’t politely but firmly insist your son and partner should have it - acknowledging her work and kindness in organising.

I'm not ranking them in terms of significance wrt the room allocation. I'm responding to a poster who felt 30 was the most significant and disagreeing.

I'm a few years younger than the OP. I don't get why it's obvious she and her DH should have the best room but I'm guessing because it's a 'big' birthday.

if it's really important to you, @hwange, offer to pay more for the bigger room. "I know we're being a bit precious here but if you don't mind...however, of course we will pay a bit more."

I was about to land you my very first "Okay, Boomer!" but then I realise OP and her DH are GEN X.

This is NOT how we roll, woman.

Does it really matter? How much time are you going to be spending in your bedroom? Surely, they are just places to sleep and you’ll all be spending majority of the time in communal rooms/outside.

Oh honestly, talk about sailing right past the salient points.

Imagine sticking it to your kids like that, especially when the girlfriend of one organised the lot. As if she had nothing better to do. Goodness.

Why do you feel you should get the best room as opposed to the other couple?

And I'm well over 60!

or the person paying more than anyone else for his room!

agree with this, I don’t spend any time in my room on holiday so couldn’t get worked up about whether it was the best one or not. I also don’t think parents deserve the biggest / best room just because they’re the oldest, it should go to who books it and / or pays the majority. Since you’ve all paid equal, your son and girlfriend get it.

How did they 'sail past the salient point'? They were spot on!

The conception bit is hardly the heavy lifting of parenting.

It's your son's 'big' birthday, his GF has organised the whole thing, she's dragging you oldies along too, instead of having a romantic get away just the two of them. They get first choice at least, so you'll have to be patient and see which they choose.

30 is a big milestone birthday.

60, meh, they've had enough milestones for it to not be such a big deal.

You haven’t answered the question of why you think you deserve the best room? I’m trying to think of a good reason, but I can’t.

Your other thread says it's a 70th birthday and DS1 organised the villa. Which is it OP?

I think whoever took the trouble to organise it gets first pick regardless.

If I was in this situation and me or my partner had done all the legwork to research, find and book a villa… well I’d probably start by booking one with similar rooms. But if there was one that was clearly better I’d maybe suggest my parents have it. HOWEVER if my mum had an attitude of “I should get the best room” (like you do!), despite me doing all the organising, I’d probably think “fuck that, I’m having it.”

The room should go to the organiser and I say that as a 60 year old. Anything else is taking the piss.

We get the best room on all our holidays but then we pay for the entire villa and I organise it all!