to call of my wedding...

[SmallShips]

As my partner has pooed himself in public, infront of his work mates, after one too many. I am revolted, absolutely revolted..

he will never be allowed to live it down.
the first time I ever met dps best friends ( uni mates flatmates etc)( pub new years eve) the first thing they said to me AND this was as dp was buying a big round of drinks...
was that he had once shat himself in a pub, was a ferocious and infamous self tugger and had farts that could clear an outdoor rock concert...
it was snowing outside no public transport I could not escape so retorted with some of my infamous slangbacks and rugby talk
they were so impressed with my laddishness qualities they later said to dp, hope she is not put off you by what we said. He laughed. We all did.
I am thankful I met him aged 30
This thread is fucking hysterical
no troll could be this clever
hope he is suitably mortified ss

Funniest thing ever! Sorry smallshits, ships. Am crying with laughter at these posts.
But seriously, tell him off, tell him its disgusting, make sure he promises not to get sooo drunk in future, but don't call off your wedding, you'll look back and laugh about it one day, maybe.

i've found him!

Hmm maybe she should tell him to elf off for a bit.

Oh dear. But ranting and raving is just what he is expecting. Leaving him to stew and think about what he has done might scare him more and mean you don't actually have to look at him in his stinking state.

Do you have friends or relatives you could go and stay with for couple of days (who would keep your whereabouts secret? Being at home on his own to sit and think for a bit might well scare the bejeezus out of him and make him realise how much he wants and needs you around.

HA great pic, tis the only way the ferry crew would let him get across the water, water skiing off the back of the Isle of Wight ferry.

Smallshits lol. Piffle hope i can overcome this like you have

she must marry him or he'll be left on the shelf
and not to would reduce their welf costly indeedy

i shall go for the eerily calm approach then.. it may not work, if he comes through that door in the same poo ridden outfit, i will not be held repsonsible for my actions.

ahh ss he never shat on my watch
I totally agree with your revulsion fwiw
good luck wiping it from your memory

all this stress is not good for my elf.

I would never marry a man that likes drinking anyway.

im afraid it will stain my memory forever, much like the stains on his trousers... i hope he hasnt rented it from a costume shop.

Has he come home yet?

still not home. Its the Isle of Wight festival this weekend, so the ferries are probably packed.

don't pooh pooh the wedding idea totally, everyone knows shit happens!
change your vows
through sickness and health
richer for poorer
through drunken incontinence and sober incontinence
as long as ye both shall live

Run for the hills ss!!!!

rofl piffle. Your making it very hard for me to be angry with him!

is he usually this elf destructive?!

This is one of the funniest threads ever, SmellShits

Can we all come to the wedding, please? Can you imagine a fleet of MNers, all dressed as elves, forming a guard of honour with their shovels outside the church ...
Your poor DP will think that he is hallucinating and it will put him off drink for life. Result!

PS Can you now vow 'in sickness and in elf' without cracking up!

lol, you can all be the guard of honour, aslong as you hit him with the shovels.

In sickness and in elf...

x posts donna123

Go on smallships I dare you to say "In sickness and in elf" on the day

my wedding venue has an optional webcam, i will say it and have it broadcasted to you lol

Bloody Hell, I havent read the whole thread. But you can marry this man and move far far away. Or you can ditch him and hold your head up high. Who wants to be the wife of that weirdo who shits him self in public? That is just too embarassing....

well he just got in, i lost it, so much for the calm approach, he came in whistling like he didnt have a care in the world, doesnt matter that i was up all night worried sick, that he didnt bother texting or ringing. Now what do i do?