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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to call of my wedding...

283 replies

SmallShips · 12/06/2008 22:58

As my partner has pooed himself in public, infront of his work mates, after one too many. I am revolted, absolutely revolted..

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 13/06/2008 11:16

(of, not if)

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 11:19

ROFL Harleyd.

LuLu, thought you meant he had just chucked it off the balcony, to "hide" the evidence, had images of poor barefooted sun seekers, treading on it. ewww.

I was in the forces, i neither pooed or weeed in anything other than a toilet, whilst drunk. Just felt i should point that out.

OP posts:
NotABanana · 13/06/2008 11:20

Does your text say you are mad and that is why he is being a child and not coming home to face the music?

I would text again and say if he doesn't let you know he is okay you are going to ring the police. Have you tried his mates/the hospital?

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 11:23

my text implies im fuming, that he didnt have the decency to call. He will be hiding. Have just texted again.

OP posts:
LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:24

Oh no - he's a good boy my DH - he had scrubbed the sheet clean in the washbasin in the middle of the night.

I think he was trying to get it dry and back on the bed before I woke up in the morning.

Hassled · 13/06/2008 11:26

I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. The cats are looking at me like I'm deranged .

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 11:26

he has just replied "im so sorry, dont hate me, i dont know what happened, will be home soon" ... so hes alive, thats something i suppose.

OP posts:
LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:27

SmallShips - just a thought - if he was that out if it isn't there a fairly strong chance he has lost his mobile (not sure whether the elf costume had pockets for storing wallets and mobiles?)

Perhaps next time he ventures out with friends you could tie a label around his ankle "if lost, please return to..."

LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:27

Ah - our posts x

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 11:29

The next time he ventures out... he'll be lucky lol

OP posts:
LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:33

Fair point.

On the bright side - you can remind him of this incident for the rest if time whenever you need to really ensure he toes the line.

I keep the sheet shit reminder in reserve for when a severe warning is necessary .

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 11:37

Good point LuLu, he shall never live this down. . Im still not sure if i'll be able to look at him when he gets in.

OP posts:
LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:43

Oh if I were you I would go out and leave him to properly scrub down and get over his hangover.

The longer you leave him to stew in his wretchedness the more repentent he should be.

Take the kids out somewhere, enjoy the sunshine, have a cream cake and maybe buy yourself something silly and frivolous (e.g. I would get my nails painted bright red cos DH hates it).

Then 'discuss' it with him this evening after the kids are in bed.

LadyK · 13/06/2008 11:48

This incident will give you all the ammunition that you need for a long and happy marriage. Best of luck to you and the shitting elf!

And many thanks, this thread has given me the big laugh I desperately needed today.

YeahBut · 13/06/2008 11:48

Has Mr Ploppy made contact yet?

Ledodgy · 13/06/2008 11:48

Just think of how embarrassed he's going to be when the best man does his speech........

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 11:50

So how wrong would it be to lock him out in the garden and let him stew out there and insist he washes down with the garden hose?

OP posts:
LadyK · 13/06/2008 11:51

Lock the door, but leave him some strong cleaning fluid and a pressure washer.

And some paracetamol.

cariboo · 13/06/2008 11:57

LOL & gross, gross, gross! Maybe at least a postponement? You don't seriously want to be bound to this guy for life, do you? Or maybe he has masses of redeeming qualities?

LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:58

That is a very good idea. But I still think you should go out and leave him to it. Calmly tell him that you don't want the children to see him in that state and just head off to do something else (switch your mobile off to give him a taste of his own medicine).

He will be expecting an absolute b*llocking and a calm approach can sometimes be even more terrifying. Plus you don't want the kids to witness a slanging match with their father in a crap soaked elf costume.

Remember that you have this episode in your back pocket for future recriminations for ever and ever so you don't need to go overboard right now.

Ledodgy · 13/06/2008 11:58

I'd lock him out and tell him you're ringing the National Elf service....BOOM, BOOM!

LuLuBai · 13/06/2008 11:59

I meant the hose pipe was a good idea. A postponement might cause a major hassle to friends and relatives.

Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 12:04

we have had a few problems lately, he promised to get his act together, this is not exactly the start i was expecting. Which is why i want to rant and rave at him... he is such a fecking plank at times!

OP posts:
Original poster
SmallShips · 13/06/2008 12:06

lol Ledodgy

OP posts:
cariboo · 13/06/2008 12:08

I didn't read thru the whole thread so probably missed something... what's this about hoses? Urk.

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