Ex wife still has husband’s surname

[ByCyanPlayer]

Am I wrong to be peeved that my husband’s ex-wife still uses his surname, despite them being divorced 28 years and they were only married for 2 years? They share a son who is 30 but I fail to see why she can’t go back to her maiden name, plus she isn’t the type to be bothered about her and her son having the same surname.

Ex wife still has her son's name ...fixed it for you

As soon as my divorce went through I changed by name back to my maiden name, I didn't do it by deed poll just changed it on everything then changed it again when I re married. My ex DH remarried so I just thought well she is Mrs so and so and Im not so I became miss again.

I have been divorced 10 years and still use my ex’s name. I want to have the same name as my dc. Pretty sure he doesn’t have an issue with it. I might change it one day but it’s a lot of hassle having to change my name with the bank, on my driving license and passport.

Its not really an issue, it’s just a name.

Ive used my stepdad's name for 38 years.
He's not been my stepdad for 36 of those. It's hassle to change names, plus, as you've pointed out, she has the same name as her son.
It's just words.

What an utterly immature attitude.

I'm the same. I kept it to be the same as my son's. I'm not going to change it unless I marry again.

I'm divorcing and not changing my name. I just can't be arsed. Too much hassle. It's my name now and has been for a long time.

12 pages telling you YABU...

Do you get annoyed at other people sharing the name?

Stop being so ridiculous. She has more claim to the name than you do, after all she isnt property. Its her name, its the name of her child.

Change your name if you're that arsed. Or get DH to change his name to yours. Problem solved

I still have my ex’s surname after we divorced 25 year ago. I kept it so kids had same name and no real reason to change now

My mum kept her married name after she divorced my dad. He got remarried. Im sure my step mum thought similar to OP. But its her name. Maybe she has built a whole career and everyone knows her as ms x? Maybe she CBA with the hassle of changing it? Either way I don’t think it’s something to get annoyed about. Im Mrs foredgyhare and so is my mil and my sil and other people.

My husbands ex-wife still uses his name but they still have school age kids so I kind of get it, however I was desperate to change mine and went back to my maiden name as soon as I could - but maybe the difference was when my kids were born, I was Miss Maiden Name anyway so it's not really a big deal for me.

I actually think it bothers my husbands ex-wife that I have his name now, and obviously the same as her kids as she hates me and causes so much hassle, and I often get mistaken for their mother which pisses her off no end, so that's quite enjoyable.

I do find it odd that she would keep the name of a man she despises and refuses to even look at but I guess it's the kid thing.

Yabu to care about this. It's nothing to do with you.And they've been divorced for 28 years so what do you think is going to happen because she kept his name🤷🏻‍♀️

16 years later I still have my former married surname. I have the same name as my children and I couldn't be bothered going to the hassle of changing my name on everything.

Plus it probably annoys my XH 😅

Lots of women keep their new name, its a faff to change it, most people know her by that name and shes probably had it longer than you had her maiden name, grow up.
Does your husband know hes married a psycho?

I divorced 14 yrs ago and kept my married name as it was DD’s too. It was just a bonus that XH hated that I’d kept ‘his’ name. He’s now remarried and I know he hasn’t taken her name.

I'm sure she is doing it just annoy you, OP 🤔

Main Character Energy.

What do you mean by 'she isn't the type to be bothered by her and her son having the same surname'?
She's his mother, a lot of mothers don't change names after divorce for this reason. It's very valid.

How can you say she’s not the type to be bothered about her and her son having the same surname? Do you know her personally? Sometimes it’s not about being bothered it’s just practical. If mum and son have the same surname no questions are asked, going abroad, bank accs, enrolling at school, healthcare etc, it’s just easier. If they split when son was 2 and by the time her son turned 16/18 she’d have had the surname for 20 years so why go to the hassle then. You sound pathetic tbh. You need to get a grip. Plenty women get divorced and even hate their exs but keep the surname for a variety of reasons, as above, work, passport etc. just get on with your life and stop obsessing over your husbands ex he split for 3 decades ago🤷‍♀️

I still have my ex husband's surname, we've been separated since 2018 (still technically married, I can't afford to divorce him.) I then gave that surname to DS who is nothing to do with him! (One of my ex bf's mums had a huge issue with my surname and still being married. Ridiculous! This was in 2022.)

Oh, and we were only properly married for four years. Don't care. It's my name now! And I didn't want DS to have his deadbeat dad's surname either.

How do you know she "isnt the type to care if she has the same name as her child"?

Could also be
She likes it better than her birth name
She refuses to be seen as a "maiden" (I do loathe the phrase maiden name and always use birth name)
She cant be bothered to do all the hassle of changing her name again
She likes knowing it annoys you and her X

If it annoys you that much why don't you and your husband both take your name? Problem solved.

They were only married for 2 years...so why are you so bothered by her life choices 🤔

I kept my XH's name until I remarried. It's a complete hassle and some expense (driving licence & passport both charge as I remember) to change your name.

I've always been completely baffled as to why a woman would want to keep her ex husband's name following a divorce but I know I'm a minority - I have divorced friends with grown up children who still go by the ex's surname.

If we ever get divorced I will be keeping my married name. Its my childs' surname.