I want DD to leave her job

[Pleasequityourjob]

DD (25) has been working as a TA in a special school for over a year.

She's working with a really tricky 11 yr old who communicates using aggressive behaviour regularly. She's regularly bitten, pinched and punched. When the child is in crisis, the child will run towards her to attempt to hurt her. She says she deflects and avoids lots of his pinches/bites, but it happens so often that several injuries land.

All I can see are her scarred hands that the protective gloves don't protect. There are months of scarring on them, as well as two fresh scabs from today. She was deflecting the questions asking about bruises on her limbs.

The school do not allow staff to leave children in crisis alone in a room and supervise through a window, so she has to tolerate these injuries as part of her job. She has to stay in the room and take whatever the child gives that she can't dodge.

She enjoys her job and doesn't want to leave. She describes the injuries as the less good bit. She said her team just accept this is part of their work, no one likes it, but they care about the children.

I just want her to leave before she's seriously injured. I can't believe that a school would be ok with their staff being routinely injured in this way. At the very least, they aren't paid enough on a TA salary.

The calm part of my brain says its her life, her choice and to keep quiet, but that's my baby getting hurt day in, day out. It's so hard to see.

AIBU wanting her to leave?

And whilst everyone puts up with it because 'what's the alternative?' and they all love their jobs and the children, nothing will change

Where are the unions?

Which it shouldn't be.

It should be the safest option for the child and adults working with them.

There is no good option here. A child alone in distress is not good. A child being held is not good. Adults being hurt as they're remaining with the child is not good.

I'd advocate if the child isn't hurting themselves, then the last option means the least number of potential injuries.

That's false imprisonment. She's not allowed to do that. You can easily google the law on this.

"False imprisonment is a tort involving the unlawful and intentional restraint of a person's freedom of movement without lawful justification or consent. It occurs when the defendant totally restrains the claimant's liberty within a defined area, whether through physical barriers, threats, or assertion of legal authority. The tort protects the fundamental right to personal liberty and does not require proof of physical harm or awareness of the confinement at the time it occurs."

It isn't isolating the child, it's giving them a safe room when they are having a meltdown and the staff member can monitor through the window when the child is being violent. As long as the door is has a window it's OK for the teacher/ TA to stand outside and look in.
I assume u think the staff should stand there and take the beating?

Do u work in one of these schools? I do, I'm regularly punched, kicked (on legs, chest, arms, face) and spat on.
We work with these kids but we deserve to be safe too

My DS classroom has a large glass window and a window in the door so it would be very easy to observe him if he was in there having a meltdown.
On the other hand when he was 7 he was restrained by 5 adults and not surprisingly was extremely distressed and hurt one of them badly (dentist visit required).
There's a reason restraint is being phased out.

We were told for the first time on our September training day that we needed to accept being hurt as part of our job. I’ll admit I’d never heard that before and I’ve been in the job quite a few years now. There was a murmur in the hall at the time and the staff were pretty unhappy about it. To my mind if staff are routinely getting hurt then there’s an issue with policy/procedure but fortunately I’m not one of the staff routinely getting hurt, so inot my circus, not my monkeys.

I am not sure why you are posting this thread tbh. A number of posters have tried to explain about seclusion and why schools cannot just contain pupils in rooms and hold the door shut. If you can’t see why it’s different to your son taking himself off to his own bedroom and no one holding the door shut on him, you are beyond help.

Regardless of any thing else, what are you going to do? Ring up her boss and demand that the risk assessment and behaviour support plan are changed for a child you know nothing about? Email a sneaky resignation letter? Your daughter is 25 and in a job she is currently enjoying. I’ve done that work and it’s difficult and you do get injured but as long as you enjoy it, it’s incredibly rewarding and you learn some amazing skills. There’s usually a fantastic social side to it too. Leave your daughter to make her own choices!

I am posting this thread because my daughter is getting hurt on a regular basis.

I'm not ok with that.

You are beyond help if you cannot understand that.

Ouch.

What's been the fall out of that?

Op I work in the kind of school your dd works in.
I have been to name but a few kicked, scratched bitten and punched in the face by physically strong teenage boys with SEN.
unfortunately there is very little protection for us apart from training on how to safely restrain a child which doesn’t always work depending on how quick the situation escalates.
We work as a team, help each other out as much as we can but yes pay is dismal for what is involved in the job.

DD is acting freely and out of love. That makes being physically hurt much more tolerable than if she was being forced to endure these attacks. Leave her be. She's an adult, and one who cares.

Do you suggest staff just have the shit beaten out of them?

Is it even legal? I would get informed about the regulations in this kind of situation. The school is probably failing the safeguards. Then I would report it to the relevant authorities.

But she enjoys her job. She’s an adult.

This is just the reality of caring professions. The safeguards are there to protect the very vulnerable people we work with. The reality is that when adults (and your daughter is an adult and therefore NOT vulnerable when compared to an 11 year old with SEN) use restrictions such as seclusion with children in crisis it is unsupportive, aversive and does not centre the child’s rights. It is abuse. What you are suggesting is abuse. Your adult daughter CAN go and get another job, the disabled 11 year old cannot change school by himself.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cjw0e3zjx2lo.amp

That article is completely different to what I'm describing. I'm not talking about cages, or hitting children, or leaving them in their vomit, or inside the room for hours, tormenting them by giving them their coat and bag.

The word abuse is banded about far too easily in society at the moment. It is not abusive to keep a child safe in a room to calm themselves down if they are able to calm themselves down alone.

It’s not. Child is alone in the room and vomits but is still escalated - do you go in? But you might get injured? But if not, they’re alone in their vomit.

I probably won’t reply anymore because I value my time and you posted here to be told you are right. You’re not. Best of luck to your daughter. Despite your lack of support, she sounds very caring and a great person for the role.

YANBU to feel worried and upset to see her getting hurt, that must be really hard. But ultimately she's an adult and what job she does is her decision. You need to find a way to accept that, and offer her support if and when she needs it without trying to push her. X

No doubt they & the OP would prefer that these children should heavily drugged, warehoused & forgotten about.

She needs to ensure every injury is recorded in accident book. That’s the best thing for her and for the dc. Legally they need to be recorded. If she’s being pressured by employer not to follow the law she needs to get union involved.
If there’s a serious incident eg her eye is gauged and she claims compensation as she’s now blind in one eye her employer’s insurance will say it’s first incident a one off if nothing in accident book. It does no one any favours to sweep things under carpet. For all you know child’s mother is desperately battling for a more suitable placement and being told everything peachy see no issues recorded. Your dc isn’t acting in the child’s best interests by hiding her injuries.

I don’t remember anything about the OPs daughter being pressured to hide injuries or under report??

The OPs daughter is doing a job she loves - why are some people making the situation out to be worse than it needs to be?

I've finally found something clarifying the position.

DDs school will need to change their policy on 1st April. Seclusion has been defined and accepted as an intervention to support children.

A win for common sense in my opinion.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6943dad6501cdd438f4cf5aa/Restrictive_interventions_including_use_of_reasonable_force_in_schools.pdf

I used to work in a special school where some children had very challenging behaviours. I was bitten, hit, knocked over, all sorts. While it wasn't pleasant, I can honestly say I didn't mind. I wished with all my might I could make the children feel better so they weren't having such a bad time, but I didn't mind that I sometimes came a cropper on their anger - it wasn't deliberate.

I would never leave a child alone in a room when they're in a state - I'd be so worried about them, that they'd break a window or use something to hurt themselves. I'd much rather be in the room ready to stop them if needed.

Two things you haven't mentioned. One is that we had a sort of soft mat that we could use as a barrier if a child was going for us. You just hold it up and it blocks the child without hurting them. Very effective and necessary is some situations. The other is that the danger of being bitten was so high that the school provided free HepB vaccinations. Does your daughter have one of those? It is vital.

To answer your original question - you can want your DD to leave her job but it's totally irrelevant because she's an adult and you can't control her life.

Next time the conversation comes up @Whyarepeople I'll ask if she uses a mat in that way. Good tip. Thank you.

DD checked the tetanus with her doctor. She told me he said she was up to date with everything needed if at risk of being bitten. I can only presume he raised Hep B as part of that discussion. I'll check in with her on that. 👍🏻

Close family member has done this job for years. It really depends on the school, not necessarily the needs of the pupils.

There's a school locally notorious for staff getting injured. They have a very high staff turnover and some other issues too. Family member changed jobs to a different school with a similar cohort of pupils which was just much better run.

In the second school, no staff member would be alone with a child losing control in that manner. There are a lot of dedicated staff, a much higher proportion of whom are male and who would expect to be dealing with any violent 11 year old boys (who can be very strong by this age!).

Also because staff are happier and longer serving, the school is better able to implement strategies and changes that minimise pupil violence in the first place.

I feel sad for the first school, its such a tough job and nowhere near enough funding goes to SEND. But equally I don't want my family member's safety compromised. I can't imagine how they'd manage being pregnant in the environment of the first school, for instance.