I want DD to leave her job

[Pleasequityourjob]

DD (25) has been working as a TA in a special school for over a year.

She's working with a really tricky 11 yr old who communicates using aggressive behaviour regularly. She's regularly bitten, pinched and punched. When the child is in crisis, the child will run towards her to attempt to hurt her. She says she deflects and avoids lots of his pinches/bites, but it happens so often that several injuries land.

All I can see are her scarred hands that the protective gloves don't protect. There are months of scarring on them, as well as two fresh scabs from today. She was deflecting the questions asking about bruises on her limbs.

The school do not allow staff to leave children in crisis alone in a room and supervise through a window, so she has to tolerate these injuries as part of her job. She has to stay in the room and take whatever the child gives that she can't dodge.

She enjoys her job and doesn't want to leave. She describes the injuries as the less good bit. She said her team just accept this is part of their work, no one likes it, but they care about the children.

I just want her to leave before she's seriously injured. I can't believe that a school would be ok with their staff being routinely injured in this way. At the very least, they aren't paid enough on a TA salary.

The calm part of my brain says its her life, her choice and to keep quiet, but that's my baby getting hurt day in, day out. It's so hard to see.

AIBU wanting her to leave?

Why do you think she’s accepting this through fear?! In the OP it says she loves her job and it’s very rewarding.

i agree TAs need to be paid more. But we need patient and compassionate people in these roles.

I’ve been there. It’s very rewarding but it’s not for everyone.

My DIL works in a school for very autistic children. She is regularly kicked, bitten, etc. She doesn’t enjoy that part of her role but she really loves working with these kids and helping them to learn. I admire her. Your daughter is an adult capable of exercising her own judgement over what she can and cannot tolerate, and what she derives satisfaction from.

YANBU to not like seeing your daughter injured and even to wish she would leave.

YABU if you don't respect and accept her decision and priorities around her job. If you've told her once that you worry about serious injuries and think her job needs to do more to keep her and other staff safe then drop it unless she asks for your input.

You can’t force her to leave but I’d strongly encourage her to join a union. Some young people don’t understand employment rights and benefits of a union. Her employers should be risk assessing to comply with health and safety legislation. Schools aren’t exempt from the law, if she’s injured and they haven’t adhered to law then potentially she’d have a claim against employer (local authority or academy trust). The child attacking her is above the age of criminal responsibility.

Agree. She may stop talking to you about it and view it as criticism or like you’re not proud of her. So do be careful. The job is really hard and exhausting - she probably doesn’t want to be quizzed by you as well.

I would leave it and maybe think of some positive things about her job to talk about. Or just don’t talk about it at all!

I hope she continues to enjoy the job and the child gets the support he needs.

His capacity and diagnosis likely means he won’t face the criminal justice system thankfully.

I think OPs daughter is probably dealing with children who have more complex needs than this.

She can make a CICA (Criminal Injury) claim if he injures her.

www.gov.uk/claim-compensation-criminal-injury

She’s not the sort of person to do this and again due to his capacity they cannot prove intent.

I don’t think you’ve worked in this field and understand the situation?

I sympathise. DH works in a care home and is regularly hurt by the residents. He wears glasses and these get broken frequently. One of his female colleagues was punched in the stomach when pregnant by a very strong elderly male resident. Her husband was very, very upset and angry.

Don’t need to prove intent.

She’s entitled to be safe at work. If she’s injured and can’t work again or needs care for rest of her life then even people who say they would never claim do because they need to be able to live. That’s the side I’ve seen.

Another reason to join a union, trade union will assist with a legal claim if she’s badly injured.

www.localgovernmentlawyer.co.uk/education-law/394-education-news/50252-teacher-wins-850k-settlement-following-classroom-assault

Completely agree OP. No way would I want my DC being a punch bag for anyone. 30 more years of that, my God. I can’t see the point of the child going to school tbh, it sounds like babysitting a violent child.

I worked teaching in a SEND setting for 15 years with complex autism and a lot of behaviour which challenged, similar to what your daughter is dealing with. I loved my job, it was so fulfilling and honesty although the injuries weren’t nice you do become very tough and as a team working with those children you are close, support eachother and develop a way of coping. I only left last month as at 44 I was physically starting to find I wasn’t coping so well with being so high on adrenaline and some of the physical demands so I’ve moved to work elsewhere within SEND behind the scenes. My daughter however is about to graduate as a SEN teacher, and I’m very proud that she wants to help and be a part of supporting children with complex needs. Your daughter sounds like she knows what she’s doing and it’s amazing experience with loads of transferable skills for the future, we need people like her who want to do that job and have the energy and patience. She will know when she needs to move on.

I had Hepatitis B vaccination arranged by the school when I worked in a school where children sometimes bit staff. Healthcare workers get this as a group with occupational risk, and some education staff should get it as well.

The amount of injury your daughter is suffering sounds unreasonable to me . I also agree with PP that 1:1 is should not be used unless absolutely necessary; a child should learn to relate to more than person and academically, at whatever level,it is better that they are doing something with some degree of independence as that is more useful for the future. Some kids for emotional reasons (or physical disability) might need 1:1 at times, but it sounds an unhealthy dynamic if she is the one always attacked, and there is a level of control if the boy is able to direct it to her, a young female- very worrying.

I have a degree of risk in my job, but I think I would be worried if this was my daughter. Are all the staff attacked this much? Sounds like they should rotate the staff a bit, even if it’s 2 or 3 who regularly work with him. Not my call or yours of course, but I’m sad if she thinks work has to be this risky. I’d be encouraging her to ask what could be done to make it less risky for her.

Your concern is completely understandable OP, but as someone who has always done dangerous jobs, I know I appreciated my parents’ support and would not have changed jobs due to their concerns.
I worked in a Special School for many years and I agree with her take on it, about that being the bad bit. The young people I worked with were also absolutely amazing and taught me so much. A lot of people I worked alongside shared an absolute passion for helping the children and, despite the bad days, it was an incredibly rewarding job (unfortunately not financially!).

Obsoletely agree with this. Advise her to fill in the appropriate paperwork and do not let SLT fob her off with normalising this as it does no one any favours. She will get injured and the child is not getting the help they deserve

@Pleasequityourjob As others have said, this comes under deprivation of liberty. You can’t lock someone in a room alone without it becoming “seclusion”-and the legal framework around seclusion is very, very strict, no matter how dangerous the individual. This explains a bit more https://www.england.nhs.uk/6cs/wp-content/uploads/sites/25/2016/07/capbs-seclusion-isolation.pdf

wtf. I have no words. Posts like this make me so so sad.

I hope some of you don’t have children or grandchildren with complex needs. They deserve better.

OP @Pleasequityourjobi think you should try to educate yourself about the children and their needs. And the legal frameworks. Maybe your daughter can help explain and you can learn more about why they require support and compassion and how many will learn very differently. Well done to your daughter ❤️

This is a failure of the management. She should have had a maternity risk assessment and not been working with people at risk of physical assault.

Thank you for finding that link, but this document isn't a law.

And this section within it can be interpreted different ways. Particularly as it refers to non statutory advice.

Please hear what I'm saying. I'm not lacking compassionate to this pupil. DD helps me understand the needs she's working with.

The children she worked with in the school prior to September would have the occasional behaviour towards her. It was what it was.

She was moved to work with a different group this year, no doubt because she was great where she worked previously. This new group contains a child who regularly struggles. Again, it is what it is.

I just cannot understand why DD has to remain with this child in an enclosed space when all the child wants to do is batter her and the other adult in the room. DD (and colleague) should be able to step outside the room for their own safety. This is how the majority of her injuries occur.

Im not sure how to word this properly- is it a school where restraining (last resort) is part of their behaviour strategy? If so, it should never get to the stage it is with your DD as intervention should happen. De escalation in many forms before physical intervention.

However I’m aware that only particular schools are allowed to do so and rightly so are checked and have stringent rules placed on them. I can name several in Kent, but all particular to children’s needs.

My son attends a specialist SEMh school and the children there are restrained when needed. It’s not called that but it is what’s happening. It’s absolutely all above board, documented and seen by OFSTED and as an absolute last resort and for minimal time in proper, recognised holds, to support the child and ensure theirs and all others safety when dysregulated. Consequently, situations like your DD’s would never be allowed to happen as it would never get that far and certainly not repeatedly.

Oh, and note the use of the term "special school" @AmbeeBambee in this NHS document.

Holds are not used unless the child is being a danger to themselves.

I have read documents online saying holds should be used when a child is a danger to themselves, to others, or destructive.

DDs school doesn't seem to subscribe to the part about holds being used when the child is a danger to others. Unless others only means other children and not adults working with them.

No one should get injured at work. It seems something is wrong if people are getting injured on a regular basis.