I want DD to leave her job

[Pleasequityourjob]

DD (25) has been working as a TA in a special school for over a year.

She's working with a really tricky 11 yr old who communicates using aggressive behaviour regularly. She's regularly bitten, pinched and punched. When the child is in crisis, the child will run towards her to attempt to hurt her. She says she deflects and avoids lots of his pinches/bites, but it happens so often that several injuries land.

All I can see are her scarred hands that the protective gloves don't protect. There are months of scarring on them, as well as two fresh scabs from today. She was deflecting the questions asking about bruises on her limbs.

The school do not allow staff to leave children in crisis alone in a room and supervise through a window, so she has to tolerate these injuries as part of her job. She has to stay in the room and take whatever the child gives that she can't dodge.

She enjoys her job and doesn't want to leave. She describes the injuries as the less good bit. She said her team just accept this is part of their work, no one likes it, but they care about the children.

I just want her to leave before she's seriously injured. I can't believe that a school would be ok with their staff being routinely injured in this way. At the very least, they aren't paid enough on a TA salary.

The calm part of my brain says its her life, her choice and to keep quiet, but that's my baby getting hurt day in, day out. It's so hard to see.

AIBU wanting her to leave?

Sorry to hear it doesn’t seem to be being applied across the board @Pleasequityourjob. I’d argue they’re also failing to keep the child safe from harm from being so dysregulated as well.

However I don’t think there’s any merit in her suggesting they step out the room to leave the child alone whilst being supervised. I think there’s enormous room for error in that suggestion before you factor in any DOL issue or the complexities of the child not having an adult in the room.

If your DD is happy in her work then I would imagine all you can do is be supportive and provide advice if asked but with regard to approaching it with SLT and institutional change rather than leaving the child in the room. That doesn’t make it easy of course.

For what it’s worth, as a parent of a child with complex needs, the TA’s at my son’s school are incredible people and I cannot describe the impact they have every day on my son. People like your daughter, give children like mine a chance to receive an education and a place to belong and thrive. I wish her well.

Again, I say it's an admirable career choice by your daughter but her employers have a duty of care. Injury to staff should not be custom and practice and there are laws to prevent this.
Are all these injuries being recorded in writing in the schools " Accident Book" ? ( RIDDOR regulations)
This is a legal requirement and should be regularly reviewed by both the Headteacher and Governing body in order to improve their safety procedures. These reviews should be recorded too.
Again, if your daughter was in a union, the Regional Rep could insist that this happens - it's the law.
Some schools encourage a culture of " it's part of the job and you are somehow weak if you complain."
Bottom line is they are hiding poor practice from both Ofsted and HSE if they are not complying with this law.
Failure to do so could trigger a visit from the Health and Safety Executive who have the power to force them to have safer procedures for their employees or even shut the establishment of it is not safe.
The needs of the children don't actually override the safety of anyone.
I would give your daughter this information, tell her to join a union and encourage her to challenge this culture of management which does not respect her physical safety or self worth.

I'd be really concerned that this was a child that was not coping with the demands of the environment and the school are using young TAs to be almost prison guards.

I am autistic myself as are my kids, and one of them went to a SEN school. I also recently worked in a sen school for a while but quite honestly, the class sizes have more than doubled in the last few years and the whole place was a sensory nightmare and felt chaotic.
I was so torn and wanted to make it work, but so many behaviors would have been preventable and are made worse by the environment, and I had to get out, because I had no sway to make changes as a mere lsa, as schools are massively hierarchical.
I think your daughter needs support herself. If it gets too much for her then she will know. I think the school head should be doing more though if this is happening so frequently. It's a child, not a prisoner.

Is there any protective clothing she can wear?

My DD was attacked by one child when she worked in a special school. She knew I'd be upset and not want her in the job, so she didn't tell me. She told her cousin, who told her mum (my sister) and my Dsis told me.

I couldn't have my child coming home battered so frequently like this. Her experience was nothing near what your daughter has to deal with.

I do feel for you.

I can't believe some posters, essentially saying that's the job.

Is it just your daughter getting hurt?
What protocols do they have in place ?
Mu son is severely autistic and goes to a special school, he scratches and bites at times, but they also use team teach to hold him safely and staff wear special sleeves to stop him scratching ,
Is the child specifically targeting your daughter?

What would you like to happen to these children then ?
We educate them becsuse its the LAW.

I have a child in the police, the police are verbally and physically attacked daily , do you think those nice criminals just walk themselves to back of the van after being told no ! Firefighters were attacked near me on bonfire night with fireworks and bricks ! My friends Dc is a nurse im A&E she is flashed at verbally sexually abused, spat at. On your average Friday night,

What I am trying to say is these kinds of jobs are not always "safe" or cosy. Your Dd has made her career choice she may or not stay but you need to distance yourself.

Indeed i used to be a mental health nurse working on acute mental health wards violence wasent uncommon ,I have had chairs thrown at me ,been punched bitten ,verbally assaulted
None of it is nice nut it was a job I wanted to do.

I just don't think people realise how these jobs can be.

I agree and we did get training in control and restraint and break away techniques but sometimes when you are working with peoole who are unpredictable for whatever reasons ,acute psychosis, learning disabilities, under the influence of drugs and alcohol you cannot eliminate all risk .

Does the Ops daughter not hsve a choice in any of this ?
She's an adult and has chosen to work in this environment because she loves the work thats her choice the restm of your post is irrelevant

Even if your DD left the room, you say that the child runs towards her to attack her so what difference would it make? The child would just follow the adult.

In my. 20s i worked with Sen children but in a play setting not education, we did get the training and i am qualifed in early years. Anyway you got bitten scratched occasionally, it really is part and parcel of the job.

It's not unreasonable to feel bad for her when she shares the stresses of her job.

But it's for her to decide if she wishes to continue it or not. Be supportive and if she says she wants to leave then encourage her to have a new job lined up first. Otherwise you shouldn't really try and tell/persuade someone to quit.

Perhaps we need to change the law then.

I mean we have limited resources. So if a child is never going to be independent or have a job what benefit do they or society get from the education.

The whole point of education is that we invest in a person and then the person pays it back by working and contributing to society.

It would seem to make more sense to divert the money spent on their education into looking after them. What would be the downside to this?

The money is used more efficiently and an education does not go to waste. I mean if they are able to read books etc then yes we should teach them to read. If they can live independently but will never work they probably need the three R's (reading, writing, rithmetic). Beyond that if they are not going to ever work what is the benefit of spending resources on them. Surely the parents can see the benefits of better care instead of useless education.

Its a shame your education didnt do you much good ,
You might not be so ignorant if it had.

Yes but is the point is surely that none of these things are correct and should be tolerated. You are right the abuse of the police is utterly shocking which is why I support giving them guns and letting them be much more tougher on criminals. We need to bring respect back.

Same for firefighters - tougher on criminals and stop this behaviour. Hang the little bastards if necessary. I mean nobody throws a brick at someone by mistake do they.

Same for NHS staff - any abuse and you are escorted from the hospital with no help. End of story. If you die then tough shit learn some respect. Why should people who are trying to help others be injured themselves.

We should not be saying it is okay if the OP's daughter is hurt/abused because it happens in other jobs too. We should be saying it's unacceptable in all these cases.

The fact the police are not being tougher is why they now have a recruitment crisis. The job is far too dangerous for what they pay and the officers often suffer poor mental health as well as the physical assaults. Front line police (response) is down to the bare bone which is why they often can't attend shoplifting and the likes.

Now I do realise there is a difference between an old person with dementia who does not know what they are doing and a thug throwing bricks at a fireman. In some cases restraining them but not treating them like criminals is correct. In other cases severe punishment is necessary.

The SEN kid obviously needs help and not to be treated as a criminal but neither should OP's daughter be getting injured. At the very least she should be able to restrain him or leave the room.

Of course she has a choice but young people (and yes 25 is still young) are often very idealistic and think they can change the world.

My suggestion was she works somewhere else where she can help others if that is what she enjoys but not at the expense of her own safety.

The two things are surely not mutually exclusive.

No parent would stand back and watch their child being hurt for no reason especially when they are trying to help the other person.

The OP's daughter can do plenty of good in a safer environment.

She needs her mum to guide her in this before she ends up with a life changing injury and her own life is ruined.

Don't be so patronising she's 25 and an adult she doesn't need her mum ,you or anyone else to tell her where she should work
I appreciate her mother is worried for but nobody csn tell another adult where they can and cannot work.

So you would rather have the money split between an education they will never use and a lower standard of care (because funds are limited)

Surely what is best for the child is to give it an education that is appropriate to it's learning ability and then use the spare funds to give better care. The funds could be invested to look after the child after the parents are dead which must be the biggest worry for parents of SEN children.

There is a thread on here about a 20 year old who wants to give up work because he is burnt out and the two years he managed was only because he was having massive support. What good has his education been? Surely better to keep those funds for paying his benefits/care.

This just seems unbelievably sensible to me and the kindest thing for the child.

Jesus wept!

Oh come on. At 25 she is young and not worldly wise. She is an adult but not one that has been exposed to most of life yet.

Of course the mum should support her to do something she cares about. All I'm suggesting is she does it somewhere that she is also safe.

Posters are outraged that a dangerous child might be left (supervised) through a window in a room alone but are completely fine with the OP's daughter getting a battering. Sorry this is just bollocks.

Of course her mother is going to try and get her to change jobs. She is looking out for her daughter. That's what mothers do isn't it till the day they die.

I dont think you understand what is meant by an Education in some special schools ,
My son goes to one for children with severe and profound learning disabilities, they are not sat around wasting their time trying to teach the kids read and write ( yes some might learn to read on a basic level,( or expecting them to pass exams as that would be pointless and a waste of everyone, s time they already work on the child's level and encourage communication, they also promote self independence and teach them life skills like making simple meals ,dressing themselves ,safety awareness, and these schools are expensive to run becsuse of the complex needs of the children.

I can't tell if posts like yours are goady or serious either way it isn't a great response.