Wasn't allowed to use disabled toilet despite the fact no other toilet was available. AIBU?

[fakenamefornow]

Seaside town with beach that stretches about 1.5 miles away from town centre with just flats and houses facing beach, ie no pubs or cafés that might let me use the toilet. It's about 10am rainy January morning, nobody else about apart from about two/three people and dogs on the beach.
Half way along on seafront is a public toilet block. Both mens and womens shuttered up and locked. Disabled toilet, locked, had a phone number to call for remote access so they could let people in. Called number and despite me pleading that I was desperate for the loo (I was) and pointing out no others available, I was refused absolutely point blank access because I wasn't disabled.
I don't think this is fair at all, but what do others think?
YANBU - she should have let you in.
YABU - no way should she have let you in regardless of how much you needed the loo.

Yes there's a big problem with the changing places ones as the equipment is expensive & also very prone to vandalism & antisocial behaviour. They often don't actually have toilets in them at all. They have an adult sized changing table and hoist & it's meant for carers with a severely disabled older child or adult to have their nappy changed rather than a disabled person who can use a wheelchair accessible toilet.

We have one in the centre where I work & we do have to strictly control access to it. There was too much misuse when it was accessed by Radar key. Now security let people in when they need it & only people who specifically need the hoist & changing table are given access. There isn't a toilet in there - there's a nappy disposal bin & hand washing facilities but no actual loo.

There was a big push to get them installed but it's resulted in the loss of actual toilets that could benefit more people. Our has only been used once in the 10 years we have had it.

It wasn't a regular disabled toilet. I can understand why they need to protect the facilities as they are very bespoke to high needs.

Many people have to manage conditions. For example, type 1 diabetic? You need to consider the availability of food when out no use complaining a cafe is shut if your blood sugar is dipping, arthritis and pain when walking? You wouldn't set off for a walk without knowing there were seats to rest. Urgency? Ensure near shops/cafes with facilities. Disabled people have to do this shit all day every day. The last thing they need is able bodied people all buying radar keys in case they're caught short.

Council toilets are all locked up in the winter. One needs to plan ahead and if you have conditions and have certain requirements then make sure there is availability. That is not exclusion, it is common sense.

Changing Places facilities are NOT accessible/disabled toilets. They are specialist spaces with equipment to assist people with severe physical disabilities. They are not Radar key operated. Allowing use by anyone ‘caught short’ is not what they are there for. I have kidney issues and need the loo every 30 mins or so. I plan my trips accordingly. I would never, ever expect to use a Changing Spaces facility. Again - they are NOT “disabled toilets”.

"Now security let people in when they need it & only people who specifically need the hoist & changing table are given access."

They are also used by children and adults who require multiple carers to assist them.

When I say you can’t plan I mean even when you try to plan, sometimes there are emergencies. I have Crohn’s and a stoma and back when I was pre-diagnos and early on, there were plenty of near misses and actual accidents because of sudden need.

Yes tell the paper an able bodied person was trying to use facilities for disabled people see what they say. Nothing I would guess.

Pp have set out that the changing places can be misused so they have to have strict usage guidelines inplace. It is a good thing.

Yes, that was the first question.
I said no because I don't have a disability, I just need the loo a lot as a consequence of having three children and being menopausal, I told her all this on the phone, while absolutely begging for the loo.

But In some places the only accessible toilet is the changing spaces toilet?

It will fuck hospitality because ppl wont risk eating or drinking anything.

It still doesn’t matter - they are for specialist need not general use.

Annandale Water and Killington Lake motorway service areas have Changing Places which open with a radar key. They have toilets with grab bars and rails as well as the other equipment. I've used them both (wheelchair user) and will continue to do so.

Quite.

The fact that it is a changing places toilet does
change things. They are designed for a very specific audience not just the general disabled population. They are to tackle the issue that the most severely disabled have being able to access any toilets at all and for those people they do need to be protected to keep them clean and functioning.

for some they may also be used to carry out medical procedures which makes cleanliness even more important.

Friend of mine has been waiting seven years for knee replacement but because the operation will be at some stage he cant get a blue badge either, His leg has given way under him more than once. IMO this stupid rule should be changed given the waiting lists.

🙄. That’s not what I meant at all. I meant to raise it with the local newspaper because whoever the jobsworth is at the other end of the phone needs speaking too. If he has asked the OP to justify why she needs access to a toilet then he will be doing it to disabled people and I’m pretty sure a disabled person doesn’t need to answer several questions to justify why they need a shit a particular toilet? The current system needs addressing and one way of getting attention is by the local newspaper getting involved and contacting the council.

It all seems a bit odd because what (other than personal scruples) is to stop someone lying and saying they have a disability? I have a disability, but not one that affects my ability or urgency of need to use a toilet - would I have been allowed to use it?

The fault here really lies with whoever decided to lock up the non-disabled toilets.

Personally if I was on the other end of the phone, and not in a position where someone monitoring the call might sack me for it, I'd let someone in if the other toilets were locked, and they were honest enough to say they were not disabled, just desperate.

The shuttered, locked men's loos? Why on earth do you think OP could have accessed those and not the shuttered, locked women's loos?

Have you read recent comments from posters who know about these facilities? They are for those with specific requirements not as the op said herself someone 'who has had 3 kids and is menopausal'. A tena lady would probably suffice rather than bespoke facilities for those with significant problems.

So, yes good the person there was a 'jobsworth' making sure the facilities were kept for those that they were designed for.

Enough people have said now: your issue (if there is one) is that the regular toilets were closed.

As others have said, Changing places’ were specifically designed for those that are unable to use a regular toilet.

Our son has officially opened a couple of these toilets now, as we’ve been campaigning for years. For those of you that can’t imagine, think of changing an adult on the dirty toilet floor, after two of you have lifted him out of the wheelchair. Finding his pad (nappy) hasn’t contained his bowel movement so it’s all up his back (sorry to be so graphic).

These changing places are a godsend. We can now plan visits to places knowing we can hoist him onto a changing bench and shower if necessary.

As others have said, they have to be locked because some members of the general public will vandalise them. Our local hospital decided to make it available to everyone. Last time we had an appointment, the hoist wasn’t charged up and the changing bench was broken, rendering the whole place useless. It will take months to fix. He remained in his soiled pad until we got home. The only alternative would have been to find a mobile hoist in the hospital and a kindly ward to let us use a spare bed (and everyone knows there are no hospital beds).

So to OP, thank you for being honest and not using the changing places toilet. As someone in your position, I go to the toilet every time I see one. I also can only manage hourly without a wee, but I still manage to walk my dog etc. without having to use a changing place or disabled toilet.

' I also can only manage hourly without a wee, but I still manage to walk my dog etc. without having to use a changing place or disabled toilet'

This op. Take note!

YABU basically you are spouting rubbish! The number to call for remote access won't be so that any person, even a disabled one, can be let in at whatever hour they like. It will be there because where other toilets are usually left open when they are open, the disabled toilet should be kept locked on the radar key 24/7 to stop people using it for drug taking etc, or going in to vandalise the equipment.

The number will be there in case something goes wrong when the toilets are open. The If the radar lock jams or breaks, or if someone takes ill or falls etc in the toilet. It won't be there for anyone disabled or not, to just phone because they need a pee!

A customer asked me to look up where the nearest changing place’s facilities were last week. I work in a town about 12 miles from a large city. I found 2 of the toilets within a 10 mile area, one was 8 miles away in the middle of a park and the other was in the next town, about 8 miles in the other direction.

If one of those was vandalised or out of order they would have to travel to the city. Not much fun in a soiled adult nappy or pants. That’s why they don’t let anyone in who doesn’t need them.

I do think it’s important that spaces like this aren’t just for the desperate to see - sorry OP - and it’s brilliant that you were honest.
I’m the mother of a severely disabled DD that requires hoisting or lifting when there’s no hoist.
At almost everywhere I go with DD there are no (I mean zero) usable facilities and I have to lie here on the pissy ground. She’s 27.5 kilos and almost as tall as me.
She can’t stand at all or sit on a toilet.
Train journeys are horrendous (she’s doubly incontinent and nonverbal) so the thrill of getting on the train with the battle to get her firstly on a train, get people moved from the wheelchair spaces and the bam! She has diahorrea (probably from excitement!) .. I wish there were more of these facilities.

There’s plenty of argument for keeping public toilets open more than they are - if I’m out without her (a rarity) I factor my needs as a menopausal woman having had 2 children into what I do. When I go out with her I factor in how much back pain I can handle with lifting her (deadweight) of the ground.

You could of course have lied and said you were disabled - but you didn’t. And that’s a great thing.

If you had said you were, I’m sure the staff would have opened the door without intrusive questioning