Wasn't allowed to use disabled toilet despite the fact no other toilet was available. AIBU?

[fakenamefornow]

Seaside town with beach that stretches about 1.5 miles away from town centre with just flats and houses facing beach, ie no pubs or cafés that might let me use the toilet. It's about 10am rainy January morning, nobody else about apart from about two/three people and dogs on the beach.
Half way along on seafront is a public toilet block. Both mens and womens shuttered up and locked. Disabled toilet, locked, had a phone number to call for remote access so they could let people in. Called number and despite me pleading that I was desperate for the loo (I was) and pointing out no others available, I was refused absolutely point blank access because I wasn't disabled.
I don't think this is fair at all, but what do others think?
YANBU - she should have let you in.
YABU - no way should she have let you in regardless of how much you needed the loo.

Sorry - desperate to WEE not see (!!)

It clearly says in the picture I posted 'phone number for access '.

I think the fact that it was a Changing Places facility makes a huge difference, these are specialist facilities that are few and far between.

I think your complaint should be about the main facilities being closed off.

Now you've seen posters explain who these changing places facilities are designed for do you now agree they aren't for those caught short and a tena lady will do going forward for any leakage?

Some people who know they have continence issues will go and buy themselves the necessary products.

Some, with or without products, will set out for a walk for instance across a moorland, or open field, where there are not toilets nor even bushes to hide behind. They cannot expect local taxpayers to provide public toilets everywhere anyone could possibly choose to walk. Incidentally, nothing is 'free'. Someone else pays, if the users don't.

Everyone has to do their best to provide for themselves, or else to plan for themselves. It does nobody any harm to set off wearing ample protection, just in case of emergency. It would not be heavy or bulky enough to make it hard to walk. If the wearer reaches home before it is needed, so much the better, but at least they have had the security of an 'insurance' pad.

And when you need to run in to the toilet because your loved one is on the floor and can't open the door "access" is what you need!

If it’s the only accessible toilet in the facility it changes nothing.

OP doesn’t have to consider herself disabled to use an accessible toilet. She does have a continence issue, she said so.

I have to say I really do find the whole public toilet situation in the UK appalling in general. And I find it even more ridiculous that you are actually suggesting a grown women should have to buy a shewee so she can have a piss in the bushes instead on being able to use a perfectly usuable private toilet. I completely understand keeping this toilet locked during the busy summer months when the rest are open but this was the only toilet available, no one else needed it. She should not have been declined access.

Yeah Your garden hopefully

Then you’ve listened to nothing that ‘users’ or carers have said here.

This isn’t a convenient toilet for anyone to use. It’s the only toilet a minority can use for miles around.

So they were actually refusing to even let actual disabled people use it as they wouldn’t let people suffering from incontinence use it? How fucking ignorant, not all disabilities are visible!

Same and Same.

Im totally baffled by this thread.

Some changing places facilities don’t have a toilet, if that was the case then that’s fine. But that wasn’t the case here. This one does. (Plenty of people who require hoists can use a toilet btw. They aren’t mutually exclusive things)
accessible toilets are for anyone who has an access need for a toilet that a standard toilet can’t provide. That includes people with urge issues. Even those people who don’t consider themselves disabled. You don’t get a welcome to disability starter pack with a radar key in it, you just buy one when it becomes clear you have a need.

I can understand the person on the phone not allowing OP in as they are probably told only those who are disabled (or say they are!) but the very concept of only being allowed access by phoning up is dehumanising nonsense and something I flagged to my local councillor about that toilet.

And for the person who said you should only get access if you have a blue badge…blue badges are for mobility challenges. Toilets that are accessible are for toilet related needs. They are not the same thing. There will be plenty of people who need BBs who can use normal toilets, and plenty who need accessible toilets but don’t have mobility needs. You have a fundamental lack of understanding of how disability works.

What did you end up doing OP?

Have you read what I wrote? I clearly said ‘If he has asked the OP to justify why she needs access to a toilet then he will be doing it to disabled people and I’m pretty sure a disabled person doesn’t need to answer several questions to justify why they need a shit a particular toilet?’

I didn’t say anything about involving the paper because the OP couldn’t use the toilet. I said to involve them because whoever is in control of these toilets will be putting disabled people in the position they put the OP in and that’s not okay.

Maybe actually read comments before replying to them, you’ve monopolised the thread the last few pages and are just replying to things with your own agenda rather than actually reading what people have written and responding appropriately.

Changing Places toilets are not “bigger accessible toilets.” They are medical‑grade facilities for people who cannot use anything else.

So the question becomes: Should someone with alternatives use the only toilet that some people can use?

Most people, once they understand the purpose, agree the answer is no.

Yes a minority who didn’t need to use it at that particular moment. It has a regular toilet in it for disabled use. It’s a dual toilet - accessible with a changing places included. That’s evident from the wheelchair symbol along side it. Therefore the OP is actually entitled to use an accessible toilet if she needs it which she did.

Sorry, going to disagree!

This sign indicates that the toilet facility is a Changing Places toilet, which means it includes specialized equipment and space designed for people with profound and multiple disabilities. Unlike standard accessible toilets, Changing Places facilities offer:

• Ceiling hoist: to assist with safe transfers from wheelchair to toilet or changing bench
• Adult-sized changing bench: for people who need to lie down to be changed
• Peninsular toilet: with space on both sides for carers to assist
• Extra room: for wheelchair users and up to two assistants
• Accessible layout: designed for dignity, safety, and ease of use

In short, this is not just a large toilet — it’s a lifeline for people who cannot use any other public toilet safely or hygienically. If you’re not someone who needs these features, it’s best to leave it available for those who do

But if the other toilets don't exist, or are closed, what are people supposed to do?

I fully support disabled people having access to toilets kitted out for them.

I don't support disabled people who think their needs trump another person's all of the time, under any circumstances whatsoever.

If you, or any disabled person, need to wait because someone is already in the toilet, that person will only have used it out of desperation.

Not all people with a mobility issue have urgency, or need to change a stoma bag. Some will be happy and not inconvenienced at all by having to wait 2 minutes.

People's needs differ. Some need more space if they have a wheelchair.

Others need a toilet fast because of some medical issue.

Other people need a toilet when the others are closed or out of order.

No one should judge, because people with IBS, or bladder diseases, or who are on medication that makes them pee more or have diarrhea don't go around with a label on their heads.

If anyone uses a loo with 'accessibility' it's because they need to.

ok this thread has prompted me to look up what an actual changing places toilet is because some argued that incontinence / really-need-to-fucking-go means you can use any accessible toilet

and maybe I would be swayed by this argument for your usual accessible toilet

this however is a whole new world of toilets - very specialised, with very high tech equipment
https://www.changing-places.org/pages/view/why-are-changing-places-toilets-important

yeah, no chance

I don't know what your point is?
Most people know what a Changing Place toilet is.
It doesn't mean that anyone needing it can expect it to be free at precisely the moment they want to use it.

To be blunt, they are probably used very rarely on a beach in the middle of winter and although that doesn't mean they can be abused it does mean someone who is desperate should be able to nip in for 2 minutes.

I think these threads show how little common sense so many people have. On a busy day with crowds of people around it might be unhelpful to grab a loo designed for someone with other needs. In mid January and with no one else in sight- that's different.

I just want to say I’m an amazed that MN have allowed your picture with the phone number on it and the subsequent ‘joke’ that we should all phone the number to stand. I reported it and it wasn’t removed so I asked why it was allowed and apparently it doesn’t break talk guidelines. Let’s just hope these people don’t get harassed and if they do that MN shoulder some of the responsibility for that for allowing it. Before anyone says it was a joke and no one would do it, think about the amount of trolls and shite you have seen in these boards over the years. Of course people will do it.

I'm really sorry OP but I think they were probably right to keep you out

I'm on a local council - we spent £££ putting public loos by our river walk/ play area.
Within a year, they got vandalised so we repaired them - took ages and £££
Within a couple of weeks of reopening they got burnt out and we just haven't got any more money to fix them again.

If the operator let in everyone who phoned and said they were desperate, the facilities would be trashed in no time. It's sad that we can't have nice things, I'm sorry, I don't know what the answer is 😔

I agree under normal circumstances but in this instance the OP was about to wet herself. Are you honestly suggesting that a grown woman should have the make the choice to wee on a public beach in full view of anyone passing by or wet herself, when there is a toilet there that isn’t being used or needed? I really do find this kind of attitude awful. Everyone deserves equal rights, this toilet gives people who need the extra equipment the ability to use it, but it was never intended to be at the expense of other people who don’t need to use a hoist etc. It sounds like the OP has incontinence issues which she doesn’t consider to be a disability but actually is and the changing places websites states that these facilities are for people with these issues to be able to use them. Even if she didn’t, I think refusing to allow someone to use an empty toilet when they were about to wet themselves is vile. Let’s face it, I can’t imagine they were inundated with calls to use if that day were they? Just being petty for the sake of it.

I disagree - for a couple of reasons.
When you make exceptions, you have to be fair and consistent which means that anyone who is desperate and needs to pop in should be then given the opportunity to use this toilet. This would lead to quicker wear and tear, more frequent cleaning etc. Now you’re asking someone at the end of the phone line to make a decision on what is urgent enough to allow you to use that toilet, as an exception to their internal policy which would say ‘this this and this’. So if Harry says yes to Fiona, what happens when he says no to Sal? On what basis? And so on. Sticking to policy ensures consistency, credibility and fairness.

The other reason is that Changing Places as an organisation has clearly launched these toilets for a specific group of people. They are not public toilets for anyone or less abled, they are for those who are very much unable to use a generic accessible toilet, therefore opened toilets exclusive to those.