Cried for 90 mins

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Last night my little one woke and was creaming at 4.15am. I thought something was wrong but he just wanted to go downstairs. I tried to comfort him in my arms but nothing was settling him. Took him in my bed which he rarely comes into and we watched my phone. Probably shouldn't have done that but I can't stand his crying.

He wasn't sleeping but it was nice to have him under the duvet with me.

After 10 mins I put him back in his cot and his room. Same issue occured again - crying to go downstairs.

I just left him in the cot until he eventually slept at 6am.

I did go in one or twice into the room but honestly I can't settle him when he wants to go downstairs and I told him it's dark outside.

I was watching him on the room camera so he wasn't in any danger.

Did I do the wrong thing? Next door is hard of hearing so won't wake him. I live just with toddler.

Course there is - mine for example will cry if I say no to sweets, or get the wrong drink, or any number of irrational reasons. That is not a distressed cry, just trying to get his own way

Do you leave him to cry for two hours?

Mine cried for a very long time when we had to leave soft play once…that was fun. Both of them crying. We’d been there for hours. I guess according to some on here I should have given in and moved in to the soft play…

Exactly this. If a child cries because they want chocolate and go on to have a 60 minute tantrum because you said no youre supposed to just give in and let them have chocolate when they want?
The child was safe, she went in and checked on them, if they continue to have a tantrum about it then they will learn tantrums dont equal getting what they want

If that’s how long it took to get the message I would yeah. I won’t let mine learn that causing a fuss gets him his own way every time.

We know our children and when they’re trying it on

Someone with some sense! You’d think he was handcuffed and starved with some of these replies

Now I know why our young are so feckless. Their mummies round after them all day.

It is early but this is a phase. It might be triggered by too much sleep at other parts of the day if it genuinely isn't temperature, hunger, thirst etc. You think it's time to wake up, but if they've been in bed since 7pm and also had a nap then that could be 10-12 hours sleep, a 2 year old needs 11-14.

I used to get up with DC#2 and I'd get us both a drink/toast and watch something chilled. I could doze in a gated room and often they would snooze at some point. No she didn't continue waking for it, she outgrew that phase like all the others and a lot nicer than watching a crying toddler on a monitor. Not judging by the way, it's really hard with lots of different advice and it's just the way I found less soul destroying

I am not assuming. I’m basing my statement on known child development. There are whole books written about how children learn consequences. He is too young to understand anything other than cause and effect; he cried and was not attended to. That’s a fact and when repeated in a pattern he will learn this.

At his age he cannot guess that his mother is not coming because it’s still night and he has to stay in bed until “morning”, especially as he was just woken up with a dose of blue light. His circadian rhythm was telling him it was daytime.

You would give in?

Just trying to get his own way? Sorry do you think a 2yo is trying to emotionally manipulate you?

A 2yo does not have impulse control, or logic. Not being allowed a sweet when they want one IS distressing. Parents are there to help them to develop these things. A 2yo doesn't understand what time it is or that there are acceptable and not acceptable times to go downstairs. So not being able to go down when they're awake and want to is distressing. And then having your parent leave you when you are distressed is further distressing. It's our responsibility as parents to help them through these things

Why is the single parent part relevant? Should they be held to a different standard than parents in a couple? I think it’s actually quite offensive to single parents to imply that they can’t be expected to do as good a job as any other parent.

A child that has only just turned two perhaps not but a two and half nearly 3 year old absolutely does understand.

Do you know what you are talking about? You have no idea and you're still commenting.

Yes I agree that pulling him out of bed for some screen time and then putting him back to bed was never a great strategy. Although if it was as simple as laying him back down and him going straight off to sleep presumably the OP would have done that first?

If she wanted him to go back to sleep obviously she should have kept him in the Cot, but stayed with him imo.

I had years of 4/5am wake ups with my DC.I now have to to drag my older primary kids out of bed in the mornings - it doesn't last forever. I just saw it as parenting, and got up. I think leaving a child crying for 90 mins is awful, I'm sorry if anyone thinks I'm judgemental but it is.

What do I have no idea about? How hard it is to be a single parent? No I don’t. But we all face different difficulties. Some worse than others. I don’t think any of them should be used as an excuse to not do our best for our children.

OP's child has only just turned 2, that's literally what I'm talking about

Jeez you're fun aren't you, I replied to your comment generalising for 2 year olds that they aren't able to understand when in fact they are depending on their emotional development

You just left him crying for hours???

Maybe he didnt feel well. I find it hard to understand how managed to go to sleep if he was alone crying.

‘Give in’? Something was obviously wrong.

This one incident doesn't make op a bad parent.

He didn't want to go back to bed.

She didn't say hours.