Cried for 90 mins

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Last night my little one woke and was creaming at 4.15am. I thought something was wrong but he just wanted to go downstairs. I tried to comfort him in my arms but nothing was settling him. Took him in my bed which he rarely comes into and we watched my phone. Probably shouldn't have done that but I can't stand his crying.

He wasn't sleeping but it was nice to have him under the duvet with me.

After 10 mins I put him back in his cot and his room. Same issue occured again - crying to go downstairs.

I just left him in the cot until he eventually slept at 6am.

I did go in one or twice into the room but honestly I can't settle him when he wants to go downstairs and I told him it's dark outside.

I was watching him on the room camera so he wasn't in any danger.

Did I do the wrong thing? Next door is hard of hearing so won't wake him. I live just with toddler.

Agreed.

The idea “we stay in bed until morning” will not have been processed and understood at all. The child has learned he can cry for long periods and not be attended to.

Not all children are NT…

You left a crying distressed 2yo alone without comfort? Is this serious? What kind of parent does this? You're like 'well shoving a screen in his face didn't work so I just left him' are you serious?

I think that the answer to your question is you can't do anything but: get up (once you've tried for a while - I'd say probably longer than 10 minutes tbh, but each to their own! - to get him back to sleep) or leave him to cry. You've got to be the one to decide which you're OK with. You seem conflicted as you don't seem comfortable with him crying for that long (or why would you be asking?) but also won't get up. I think you just have to accept it for what it is and own your decision. Definitely don't involve the phone if you're wanting to try help him back to sleep but at the same time accept the fact that (even if you don't use the phone), once awake, he may just not go back to sleep for a long while. If you're going to leave him in his room and let him cry for 90 minutes during that time and you just wanted someone other than your mother to agree that it's fine so you can feel more comfortable about it, then you've got what you wanted. There are numerous reasons why people wouldn't leave their child to cry for that long. It doesn't make them bizarre. It makes them different to you. Don't expect them to have a different point of view because it was too early for you to get up. I personally wouldn't want to listen to that for so long, what ever the time. I can't imagine waking up afterwards and feeling good, but I imagine some people think they've done something proactive about the situation and feel fine. Up to you how you feel but you were never going to get everyone in agreement.

Ignore the hate, he’ll be fine. It’s similar to the cry it out method and no harm will be done.

If op left him where he wàs and laid him back down he wouldn't have kicked off. He was probably confused as to why he has been returned back to bed. It's not hard to work out.

Obviously, if I thought all children were NT I wouldn’t have mentioned NT at all, I would have simply stated ‘children’ 🙄

You referred to 2 year olds across the board typically having 2 hour tantrums so clearly you were including NT children in that.

I would merely say that it’s not something I’ve experienced or even heard of in NT 2 year olds. I know ND children have meltdowns that can be much more severe, but I don’t really know much about that.

'It's just a noise to show he wants something' well duh???? You talking is just noise as well??? Should everyone ignore you too? I actually despair at the lack of empathy it disgusts me, you are a parent do better.

No advice because you clearly don't actually care about the wellbeing of your child so it would be a waste of my time

Why assume that’s what was learned? Why have you decided they can learn one thing, but not the other?

Where's your empathy you are saying that to a single parent

Are you really berating someone about empathy in a vile message like that?

Do better

The cry out method is harmful

Prove it.

Is that what you did? You’re breaking your child.

The difference is I'm speaking to an ADULT, her lack of empathy is towards a 2 year old child

Prove. It.

It’s not a lack of empathy you have no idea how exhausted she was or if she had nothing left.

She knows her child - we can all tell when they’re crying cause they need us or cause they’re trying it on.

I wouldn’t have waited as long I’d have gone in at more regular intervals but it doesn’t warrant being nasty. As parents we are all learning all the time. Not one of us has always got everything right. Glass houses and all that

Her 2 year old is upset he has been returned back to bed. He will work it out.

Yes, I actually think she needs to be spoken to sternly to make it clear that no, leaving a barely 2 year old trapped in a cot alone crying and distressed for 90 minutes is unacceptable

My advise is dont ever leave a child distressed and crying for that amount of time ! Its abuse plain and simple !

So you want me to show empathy to the adult (because she's a single parent?) but the 2yo will 'work it out', got it makes total sense

Spoken to sternly? She’s a grown up and that’s not acceptable.

You don’t know if he was distressed, a two year old crying and a two year old being distressed can be completely different things and you must know that.

He was safe - there’s a lot of much worse alternatives. Like I said it’s not something I’d do but if she is taking advice from her mum who is a different generation she may not have even realised this isn’t really done now. Nothing bad has happened and it’s really not for anyone else to decide it’s their responsibility to give her a telling off.

You can disagree without being a bully

You think there are times a 2yo cries but isn't distressed?

Oh good lord. We’re back to ‘trapped and alone in the cot’. Like that’s not where normal babies and toddlers sleep. You forgot ‘in the dark’.

The child was safe, warm, fed and in its own bed. They were distressed because they were not allowed to go downstairs and start the day at 4am.

It’s getting hysterical on here. Another poster accused the OP of ‘chucking them back in their cot’!! Can we stick to the facts.

Make. Me. Are you always this childish? You do what you like, but the only one suffering is a child whose still learning and had no choice in his or her birth.

Why have a child if you can’t cope without 8 hours sleep?