To be furious at my ‘supposedly’ best friend?

[missblueberrypie]

My ‘’best friend’’ is getting married in a few months. We’ve known each other since primary school and we always had an agreement that when we get married we would have each other as our maid of honours. I kept up my end of the bargain when I married my DWife three years ago. I fully expected that I would receive the same honour but apparently not. I found out that I will be a bridesmaid whilst her sister is the maid of honour. I might be overreacting but I am quite upset and frankly furious. I thought we knew each other better than this and I don’t know if the relationship will ever be the same tbh. I was even more heartbroken when she said that the reason behind this snub is the fact that I am pregnant and would not be able to put 100% effort into wedding planning. What should I do going forward?

You are really REALLY overreacting. She will have familial pressure to have her sister as MOH.
Good Lord woman, grow up!

Haha I had a similar pact with my best friend in primary school…he’s now gay and we certainly didn’t marry at 30!

Oh grow up PLEASE.

Their sister has pulled the family first card. Sorry.

If that's true, then prove it. Forgive her for not keeping a childhood promise, put aside your disappointment (certainly not worth being furious about!!) and help her get excited for her big day and support her.

This is what decent friendship is about.

Primary school best friend does not trump sister unfortunately 😑

Op. I can see that you're upset but the reality was she was never going to snub her sister by choosing a friend as moh regardless of what she said when she was in school.
you had built a big fantasy in your head of how it was going to be and you're sad that it won't be quiet like that But for the love of God, keep your feelings to yourself . Do not mention them to the bride or other friends or anymore connected to the wedding party or you will mar yourself a bit of a laughing stock among your friendship group. wallow a bit today and then focus on enjoying her wedding as a bridesmaid .

@SouthernNights59
@NoMoreLindor
@ArtyFarty29

Sorry, it was a flippant remark. Of course I did not mean to imply that all that only children (including my own daughter) would behave this way.

Main character syndrome is alive and well!

OP you can be extremely close but family ties and obligations will always take precedent. I had a very close Uni friend, she married and had 3 children. I fully expected to be asked to be a Godparent. Didn't happen. She has a large, close family and obligations to them. You just move on.

Really ?

Stop being so precious Ifyouareforreal

Clearly in her eyes, you’re not. Maybe she’s under pressure from parents, who knows, but she’s made her decision and you have to respect that.

If you’re this upset I’d decline entirely, I’ve seen many weddings days spoiled by a bridesmaid creating drama from nowhere because they feel like they have to compete to be the best and closest to the bride. With all due respect, grow up!

You made " the deal " in secondary school , so I'm guessing 20+ years ago ?

People grow up , ideas change etc . You and her are not the same people you were back then . Yes best friends , which is lovely , but you are being out of order .
She is still massively including you by making you a bridesmaid and the there are many brides out there who wouldn't want a bridesmaid who is pregnant. How far along will you be in the day ? Congratulations btw .

Be happy for her , it's really no big deal , go with the flow and maybe get a message to her sister to let her know you are willing to help if needed .

@missblueberrypie Could she have two maids of honour?

She doesn’t want or need you to be her planner.
I work in weddings, what’s with your maid of honour obsession? It’s weird!
You have blown it out of all proportion - are you American? In the UK maid of honour was traditionally the name given to a married or older bridesmaid, not the special wedding task force commander you’re been crying for days about.

🙄You might want to re-read it

I remember my best friend being worried about telling me that her sister in law was being her MoH. It was down to family pressure/expectations. It's really not a big deal, and not worth losing a friend over .

Christ, are you always like this? A deal made in school, sounds like you’ve never mentally left school.

You are reading her choice as if it's about you. It isn't. Just show up and be kind to her. And try to grow up a bit before the baby's born.

😆

In the nicest way possible there’s a chance your pregnancy is mss as king you feel like this. Sisters trump friends if they’re anyway close because they’re family

OP the way I see it you’ve got 3 options - 1) throw a massive wobbler and lose your closest friend, 2) suck it up, be a bridesmaid and help out with organising the hen 3) talk to your friend and tell her that this has hurt you.

I understand the hurt I really do, I couldn’t go to my best friends wedding in New Zealand as I was heavily pregnant and so she was my MOH but I couldn’t be there for her and won’t get the chance again. I would have loved to give a speech about my amazing friend. But it is what it is, that’s life!

When I was in school, I promised myself I would marry one of Musical Youth (80s band) and have six kids.

I eventually had one child and am most definitely not married to one of Musical Youth!

Don't be jealous of her sister, that's weird.

She's doing you a favour and it's literally her sister.

Going on personal experience, I find there are more people who are ignorant and horrible about only children than there are spoiled and horrid only children. A family friend is an only child, the most giving and generous person you could meet, and she says that not having siblings means she's always been very careful to share things and value friendships because she doesn't have a "guaranteed" friend in a sibling (I know siblings can fall out but you know what I mean) and so she's careful never to take people for granted. She's extremely popular.

People who think having siblings automatically makes you a superior person are as ridiculous as those who think having children automatically makes you a superior person.