Not many people are attractive

[ChicJoker]

Hear me out.

I’ve downloaded a few dating apps over the past week or so. I’m actually astonished by how many people are unattractive. I know beauty is subjective,
so let’s say conventionally attractive for the sake of this thread. But what on earth?

I know there are good looking people out there because I see plenty on social media. But I hardly ever notice anyone out and about that is OBVIOUSLY gorgeous. When I do see them it’s a head turning kind of energy but is that because it’s so few and far between?

im bi so I’m talking about men and women here. Aside from not being naturally conventionally attractive people seem to take no pride in appearance in how they dress, how they maintain themselves, their body/figures, teeth even!! Nobody seems to “make the best of themselves” iyswim

fwiw I know there’s much more to a person than their appearance but when on a dating app usually the first thing you’re looking at is if you fancy them.

aibu?

Completely agree, I thought this the other day too when I was swiping!

I don’t find people attractive purely based on their looks so I can’t really compute this but this seems odd: surely in an age of AI and filters people would be pulling out all the stops to make themselves look better?

I'd agree with that, but based on society rather than dating apps. I'd say roughly 1/10 people is actively attractive (and even then there's a sliding scale), most are just unremarkable and then about 1/25 is actively bad looking.

I do think there are more actively good looking people than really ugly people though.

Anyway, I cant talk as I'm looking pretty minging today but I can scrub up ok and I look a lot better in summer.

Coming from the position of a bi man, I think most people are at least vaguely attractive. You're obviously pickier than me!

Only a tiny minority of people are gorgeous, most people are ordinary by definition, many are attractive because of regular features, or great skin, hair and teeth, or a great body, some lucky people are very attractive if they have all of these attributes. Most people can 'look well' with a bit of effort though.

I think most people are in the middle somewhere. It is subjective as you say so what is stunning to me, won’t be to you and vice versa. Lots of women swooned over Brad Pitt back in the day for example but I honestly have never ever seen it. I would say my ‘type’ if I could narrow it down to that would be someone like Jacob Frey, the Minneapolis mayor. I imagine he would not be everyone’s idea of beautiful but his face is to me.

It’s very rare I look at anyone and think they are ‘ugly’. Most are just so average I barely register their looks at all. Personality can definitely make a person more attractive too for sure. A beautiful person can very quickly become unattractive if they’re nasty to others.

I think it’s the opposite, there aren’t very many people who are unattractive, they are the minority.

Social media is full of filters. In no way reflects real life

@ChicJoker the apps algo will tailor to you. And actually attractive people are rarely on apps that are mainstream or apps period.

Please remember that you can be very plain looking indeed yet still be an outright sexy bastard! It isn't all about looks.

What a strange thread! Social media doesn't reflect reality because of the post processing.
People's attractiveness stems for their character as much as their physical features so it's not surprising apps don't reflect that.

Well this is a thread calculated to make people feel better about themselves isn't it?

As a veteran of OLD it constantly amazed me how many (in my case) men posted profile pics where they’d clearly made very little effort. This led to a couple of nasty shocks where I gave them the benefit of the doubt - the one with no actual front teeth was a particular low.

Luckily for me I met my lovely partner, he looked pleasant in his photos and when I first met him, now I think he’s gorgeous because I know and love him so it’s definitely subjective.

I think there’s a difference between attractive and head-turning gorgeous. Many people are decent looking, only 1% or less would turn heads though.

I also think January is not the time when people are making the most of their looks. It’s cold and dark, people want to be warm not fashionistas.

Maybe go and have a look at accounts which expose social media filtering. I think you have been overly influenced by how well everyone looks online and lost all the perspective about what a real person looks like. I can whack a multitude of filters over my face and body in less than 20 seconds and be the next hot thing on Instagram. I can even change my age!
I used to work in an organisation which had a lot of A-list celebrity clients. Trust me, they don't look the same they do on screen when they turn up in trackies and uggs with messy hair, no makeup and no studio lighting.

Are you counting yourself in that observation as well, OP?

I found a man who makes me laugh all the time as sexy as hell no matter what he looks like.

YANBU we are all ugly, smelly mingers aren't we.

@ChicJoker
Maybe the algorithm saves the most attractive people to match with the most attractive people.
Never done OLD (been with my DH for 41 years) and no doubt it would match me with some not exactly attractive men.

Me and a colleague discussed this recently, we work with the public en masse, we worked out we saw a good looking man that made us double take in about 1 every 1200. Ladies due to grooming were more like 1 in every 50.

Attraction comes in many ways - not always about looks.

But I suppose with OLD that’s all there is.

I can't say I've noticed. I'm a straight woman although I'm not in the market for a man, but I see plenty of quite good looking men around and also a lot of women I'd call good looking even though I can't judge if they are sexually attractive or not. I would also say that I am good looking myself, although not outstandingly so, so I don't think I have low standards.

I have to say I wondered that.

Most people have something about them that is attractive.

Most people are not drop dead gorgeous to look at, but their personalities, intelligence, creativity, good heart or generosity of spirit can make them the most beautiful person in the world to those who love them.

The most beautiful person physically could be the most appalling arsehole.

What do you want from this thread OP??

It's possible that you just have very bland and stereotyped expectations, shaped by plastic celebs, and the charms of real faces are somewhat lost on you.