Not many people are attractive

[ChicJoker]

Hear me out.

I’ve downloaded a few dating apps over the past week or so. I’m actually astonished by how many people are unattractive. I know beauty is subjective,
so let’s say conventionally attractive for the sake of this thread. But what on earth?

I know there are good looking people out there because I see plenty on social media. But I hardly ever notice anyone out and about that is OBVIOUSLY gorgeous. When I do see them it’s a head turning kind of energy but is that because it’s so few and far between?

im bi so I’m talking about men and women here. Aside from not being naturally conventionally attractive people seem to take no pride in appearance in how they dress, how they maintain themselves, their body/figures, teeth even!! Nobody seems to “make the best of themselves” iyswim

fwiw I know there’s much more to a person than their appearance but when on a dating app usually the first thing you’re looking at is if you fancy them.

aibu?

I know a few men like this. Think they look like Leonardo DiCaprio, but in reality, they look more like Bernard Manning. (Google him under 50s!) 😆

I think

1. good looking (pure looks, mainly facial features),
2. attractive (fancible based on a combination of things - personality, intelligent, etc) and
3. sexy (confidence, presence, and either good looking or attractive) are all very different things and totally subjective.

I think less than 5% of people are that second look, striking kind of good looking/beautiful.

5% are really unattractive but imo a lot of that is to do with hygiene, grooming and demeanour rather than overall looks. I've ever rarely seen a truely ugly person.

90% fall into the attractive to someone side of things. Not stunningly beautiful but have attractive features.

Some of the best looking people I know aren't necessarily attractive or sexy.
Some very ordinary looking people are higely attractive due to charisma, warm, intelligence etc.

That just goes to show that people are different. Hailey looks incredibly masculine to me, and her skin is weirdly shiny. Kim just looks so weird with her massive behind and all her surgery. She did look better when she was younger and more natural. My idea of beauty is the kind that can't be faked, that is a bit quirky: think Keira Knightley or Daisy Edgar Jones. They be less showy than the insta girls, but to me they are far more beautiful.

It’s sad, shallow and reflects poorly on you.
Worth commenting to say that, at least

Well, most people are best looking and take most care in their appearance when they are young so maybe it depends what age you are looking at. At Uni there were a lot of good looking people!

All the hot ones are married.

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I actually think it's the opposite - I think almost everyone has at least one attractive (physical) quality. Or course, people often become more attractive the more you get to know them, but understand that isn't something that comes across on a dating site.
In all honesty, you sound like the rare sort of person who is initially very attractive, but becomes less so the more someone gets to know you. Just something to do with the way you come across in this thread! 😅

Absolutely this! I’m dating a good looking guy I met in the wild and his whatsap picture alone would never have been swiped.
I don’t know why apps don’t encourage a short video, it’s only when you see someone talking/smiling that their true look is revealed.

It’s so funny how we all perceive attractiveness, I’ve always thought Elizabeth Taylor was completely overrated and doesn’t compare to some other Hollywood stars of her era.

I put her in my top 25 female list.

This is an interesting point, I do wonder if it’s the “hype” around these celebrities that gives them the accolade of being “stunning” I always remember a post on here about Helen Mirren and they were raving about her beauty and another poster chipped in and said if Helen Mirren worked on the check out of the local co-op no one would describe her as the stunning woman manning the till, I thought they made a good point.

If I could have the face and figure of anyone it would be Sofia Vegara, I’ve just discovered Modern Family!

Oh, before realising I was gay I wanted to BE this beautiful woman. Then slowly came to the realisation that actually, I fancied her!

Strictly appearance based I think very few people are ugly and very few people are gorgeous... most of us sit someone in the middle which is just 'average looking' and those other average looking people we see are just like us.

There is always something off about people who expect to only attract 'highly attractive' people on dating apps and who shun the 'average'. Its not really a deep mystery as to why they are still on dating apps with that attitude. Its smacks of the same energy as the near 50 year old men only want to date size 10 women under 25 without kids.

online there appear to be more gorgeous people because it’s self selecting. More good looking people like to display their physical beauty and because of filters.

many young people look gorgeous but they age poorly because their beauty was the beauty of youth rather than exquisite structure and features. Once they lose the fresh bloom you see they are very ordinary

white people are genetically disadvantaged when it comes to aging

I am constantly amazed by the lack of care people take with their appearance. Personally, I'm old and overweight, but I still make sure that as the bare minimum every day I'm clean and tidy, and will smarten up and dress up if I am out and about.

A friend did OLD a few years ago, and said to me after a couple of in-person dates "There should be rules banning men posting pictures which are 10 years and several stone out of date!" and also that it was obvious that many men's profile pictures were one half of their wedding photo....🤣

I think most people are attractive - I live in London (not sure if that makes a difference) and most people I know are attractive. Tbh I find attractiveness in almost every face and body.

I've never been on dating apps though, so no idea how attractive the people are on there. Don't you get sorted into "buckets" of how many people say yes to you, and then the apps show you people rated the same attractiveness as you??

It depends what time of the month it is for me I think 😂

I do feel like I rarely find people attractive - it’s not often I think wow he’s handsome/she’s pretty. Most people are just very average.

But having offers doesn't mean anything though does it - do you think that means you are very attractive?

Yeah, OP also doesn't seem to realise that dating apps have an algorithm which ranks people on attractiveness and shows "similar level attractiveness" people to one another. So people rated more attractive on dating apps will "see" more attractive options and vice versa

If that were the case, ex-DP would have been matched with an orangutang.

No, I think the apps match you with anyone whose filters don’t rule you out and vice versa.

She was a beautiful child.

Ive thought this for a while too. I see so many stunning people on social media but very rarely see them in person. I know everyone looks their best on social media but I also think photoshop is the main culprit.

Maybe you have a very high bar. I don't know about OLD as I've never done it but I have lots of attractive friends and see lots of attractive people out and about, especially women. I do remember going to my DHs hometown though and noticing there were a lot less attractive people there so it could be location based. My town is full of beauty salons and a lot of people take care of their looks.