Not many people are attractive

[ChicJoker]

Hear me out.

I’ve downloaded a few dating apps over the past week or so. I’m actually astonished by how many people are unattractive. I know beauty is subjective,
so let’s say conventionally attractive for the sake of this thread. But what on earth?

I know there are good looking people out there because I see plenty on social media. But I hardly ever notice anyone out and about that is OBVIOUSLY gorgeous. When I do see them it’s a head turning kind of energy but is that because it’s so few and far between?

im bi so I’m talking about men and women here. Aside from not being naturally conventionally attractive people seem to take no pride in appearance in how they dress, how they maintain themselves, their body/figures, teeth even!! Nobody seems to “make the best of themselves” iyswim

fwiw I know there’s much more to a person than their appearance but when on a dating app usually the first thing you’re looking at is if you fancy them.

aibu?

god am I your housemate? 😂 but I ended up leaving him!

That’s a really outdated view. Online dating is the modern equivalent of meeting someone in a bar. It’s mainstream dating. There are supermodels and A-listers on apps like Raya.

Yeah I'm sure your a supermodel OP 😂

Then why do you have to resort to dating apps? 😳

I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole unless I really had to.

im bi so I’m talking about men and women here. Aside from not being naturally conventionally attractive people seem to take no pride in appearance in how they dress, how they maintain themselves, their body/figures, teeth even!! Nobody seems to “make the best of themselves” iyswim

You are being unreasonable with this. People going about their daily lives don’t owe you attractiveness.

This, plus people's definition of 'drop dead gorgeous' obviously varies, as I often find that people that most people find stunningly attractive leave me relatively underwhelmed. An example of that from quite a few years ago is Cheryl Cole (as she was known in the early 2010's) Everyone seemed to think that she was OMG STUNNING, not only the most beautiful in her band but one of the most beautiful women in the world. I never saw it! Pretty for sure but not as outstanding as people said. No disrespect to her, just an example, but it just shows that we're all different.

There is nothing about “resorting” to dating apps. They are just another tool people use to meet people. Especially in the modern era.

SM isn't a benchmark

But no, most people aren't actually attractive

Oh, I see you've well and truly jumped the shark.

Had I read this first, I wouldn't have bothered to reply.

<< Tootles off to watch paint dry >>

Oh come on now.

If you're as gorgeous as the OP claims to be, you just wouldn't need to bother 🤭

Speak for yourself, I'm fucking gorgeous me!

Haha I personally always thought he was a bit of a dick and she could have done better, so who knows...

Desperate fools who go on dating apps don't deserve anyone attractive.
Ooh! I just had a good idea, what if people who weren't paying tax, weren't allowed to vote OR go on dating apps!

I'll have a go, tell me if I'm close: five eight, a size six with 30D boobs, shoulder length black hair, green eyes, perfect complexion, straight nose, full lips, even white teeth, weighs eight stone seven. That you?

Could be a UK western thing. Many "beauty" trends appear to be acts of hideous self sabotage imo - combined with poor health (,bad diet, no excercise) and overly Westernised media consumption, so general cultural and intellectual development is pretty stunted - you don't have to go far into mainland Europe before you notice huge differences

Really? In this day and age I don't think that's true at all. I would say the majority of my friends met their husbands on dating apps. I met my husband in real life but would say if anything that's unusual. With professionals moving to new cities for work it can be quite difficult to meet people.

Goodness. They must be even more sad and desperate than the type who'd go attention farming on Mumsnet.

Ahhh, well it was nice to read the sensible answers before the “no one posting anonymously could possibly be beautiful” brigade jumped on along with the bitter betty cynics.

thanks!

Dating apps are an online meat market.

One where people think absolutely nothing of seeing 2 or 3 people at the same time, and then ghosting them when they've had enough.

MNetters are constantly moaning about them.

It's really not something most people would choose if they found meeting someone in real life easy.

Very true and probably the reason why I'll probably remain unattached, I've been so over 10 years now. Not to sound too fussy but I do think physical attraction has to be there.

I think a static image is misleading. Sometimes it’s in the way someone talks, their eyes crease when they smile or laugh. Could be their voice and of course personality . My DD is seeing someone she met at work. They worked well together and she liked how he was with others, she found him attractive but said she would probably have swiped past on OLD!! This is the issue- not meeting organically.

I think you are completely wrong, but I understand why. We have a society which places great emphasis on beauty but not natural beauty. We have had models and actors and personalities shoved down our throats for over 100 years. In the last 20 years we have had influencers and people famous for nothing added to the mix. The thing is non of them look as good in real life as they do on screen/pictures.

Makeup is a huge part of that but camera filters and AI/CGI has become an even bigger part. Doris Day was considered a beautiful woman in the 1960s but if you watch her films it looks like she is filmed through a net curtain to hide her imperfections . This weekend I joined a motorhome FB group, a woman had posted a picture of her and her husband going for a trip, unless there is a 40 year age gap between them then the filter did a magnificent job on her.

So your seeing images of people who don't match what you perceive as attractive. Look at pictures of models from the 1950's to 70s. By today's standards of beauty they don't look that attractive. But change their makeup and hair and they would be

Plus, and I'm in my 50s now, I no longer find women under 35 that attractive now. I'm male. I can say "yes they are good looking" but I am not attracted to them. But women in their 60s and even 70s are attractive...your own views on attractiveness change because at 35 no way would I find someone 60 attractive

Physical attraction is different to finding someone conventionally attractive. I find Andy Murray sexy but I’m aware he’s not the most handsome. It’s more his seriousness and modesty I like. 😳

I think it's more that people who are stunningly beautiful that I've known tend to be more modest about it. I have know one or two very very beautiful people in my life, both men and women, and none of them have taken the attitude that they were better than anyone else or that other people were ugly. If anything, they seemed to be more anxious to be pleasant and humble, almost as if they were heading off accusations of being stuck up. I actually don't envy people who are as beautiful as that, it must make life difficult in some ways. I'm very happy with my own level of attractiveness, as I would rate myself as about a 7: ie comfortably above average but not stunning. Neither attractive or unattractive enough to be self conscious.

Not sure about attractiveness, I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and subjective!

I do think some people don’t take any pride in their appearance anymore. A lot of people seem to dress scruffily and don’t seem to care about keeping their hair neat.