To be surprised nobody helped me?

[Mintybreath]

i was unwell a few months ago and for some reason it suddenly popped into my head the other day

basically I was walking home and suddenly felt extremely unwell- like I knew I was dying. It was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. Really awful nausea and palpitations

i was terrified because i felt like i was about to drop dead on the street and i knew I HAD to get home. I don’t actually know why I didn’t even think to call 999, but I just kept thinking I needed to get home. It was 9pm, pitch black and heavily raining. I could barely stand up but forced myself to walk a few steps, and after a few minutes I immediately had to bend down low to try and feel less terrible, then I’d walk a few steps again, then I had to crouch low again. I never collapsed or lost consciousness thankfully but I was violently sick on the street and was visibly not well and in my head I kept thinking I was going to drop dead on the street by myself and I was terrified. It lasted for about 20 minutes and I somehow made it home,

To cut a very long and boring story short, it turns out I actually was unwell, I was in vtach at over 200

It suddenly popped into my head the other day and got me thinking how literally nobody helped. I was walking on the pavement on a main residential road and was visibly unwell- admittedly it was late so not like there were loads of people walking about but I definitely passed people, lots of cars, and a few times I was crouched and struggling to walk right in front of peoples living room windows. I know nobody is obligated to help, but I guess it just surprised me that they didn’t? Is it because they thought I was unwell because of drink/drugs or something and didn’t want to get involved? Or just because it was raining and late at night?

tbh partly my fault because I should have just opened my mouth and called out for help, I don’t really know why I didn’t because I remember thinking please please can someone help me, but I think the palpitations were so awful all I could focus on was GET HOME. Maybe my expectations are a bit off but would others have expected someone to help? Thankfully feeling a lot better now and hopefully I’ll never be in that situation again needless to say!

I stand by what I said, you sound ridiculous and clearly don’t know what you’re talking about

unstable vtach is dying, you are quite literally in a fatal rhythm and you will die if it doesn’t stop (either by itself, or by medication or shocking)

I have a condition that sometimes makes me too dizzy to stand. If I shuffle over a wall and sit quietly on the pavement, I always get people coming to ask if they can help. The time I had lie down outside a pub I only got dirty looks. I think people assume drink or drugs unless you speak to them. Perhaps you could say 'please help, I think I may be having a heart attack'. Everyone knows that is serious.

As a positive, I fainted on a train once and got tons of help, a seat, water, people fanning me with books. It was very wholesome and I was fine just hadn't drunk enough water for the weather! I'm sorry that happened op, I think at night people are unlikely to be staring out their windows or car windows and clocking what's going on, likewise for joggers - they're probably in their own world!

When I was pregnant, I had issues with nausea and fainting. I had several instances across my pregnancies whens strangers helped me, in Ireland and Scotland. Thankfully there were no times I needed help and did not get it.

I live rurally and often pass the same elderly man when I am doing the school run. He walks alone on a single track road. Several times he has been sitting/lying in the ditch, so I have stopped to check on him. Each time he has said he is just resting, doesn't want a lift, I don't need to stop for him. I always will though, just in case one of those times he does need help.

It has become more difficult to offer help. more violence, drugs, mental illness, alcohol. Much more unpredictable.
I have an NHS background and will offer my help if it makes sense.

Don’t feel you have to defend yourself. Of course people feel they might actually be dying (heart attack, being shot or stabbed or hit by a car). Just because they luckily survived doesn’t negate the feeling, belief or process that they were dying.

I’m very sorry that happened to you but if it’s any consolation I don’t think people were ignoring you because they didn’t want to help, they would have assumed you were a scammer. I have lived in London for a decade and when I first got here I was constantly helping out wailing women with torn clothing and learnt the hard way that it was a scam!

I don’t really know how one would get help after an attack - maybe just a really clear request - “hi can you please call the police for me?” - something that makes it clear you’re not going to ask for money once they’re engaged. Even then some people would be afraid you’re just tricking them to get their phone out to be mugged!

Yes being pregnant means people are no longer so worried about you being a scammer. Ditto helping an elderly man. It’s hard being in the city, there is a man around here that has basically an eye ball that pops out that looks extremely scary and like a severe injury but even he is a scammer.

It is unfortunate that the world we live in means we can’t always trust what we see. Unless I saw with my own eyes a situation occurring you just never know if it’s a scam. Not to be too extreme but this was Ted Bundy’s M.O. I would have to weigh up the risk factors before blindly jumping in to help someone. Hopefully I would make good judgement calls.

Yes this. I think you do need to shout call me an ambulance as that’s a clear request and not something a scam person would say. A scammer might say, “help me!” And then…”I just need £20 to get home” (for example). But I believe “I need an ambulance” would be acted on by the vast majority of people passing you by.

Appreciate that’s hard to ask in the moment if you are having an episode as you describe - but perhaps now you have a plan it will be easier if the same thing happens again (hopefully it won’t!).

@BillieWiper I'm guessing you've never been in a similar situation?
I have , because of surgery on my stomach I sometimes suddenly become unwell.
For me , and I expect the OP and others, when you suddenly feel very unwell you can't think straight.
In an effort to hold myself together , like the OP,I often focus on one thing - usually it's trying to stay upright and not collapse .
You'd be amazed how your ability to be rational., to sit down , to call for help , disappears .
Find your phone , unlock it , decide to call 999 and answer all the questions?
Absolutely no chance.
I do stop and offer help but sadly have too frequently been ignored as the OP was.

I already commented up thread but was also going to suggest a medic alert bracelet or necklace, along with a card in your wallet. I'm surprised you don't have this already, but here is the link:
https://www.medicalert.org.uk/products/

I think you @ the wrong poster. I described at the very beginning of my post being in a similar situation and have done many times. And had great sympathy and understanding for OP.

I’m sorry OP. People probably assumed you were drunk/on drugs.

I had a situation where I came over ill really suddenly and can absolutely relate to the just focussing on trying to get home. I was changing trains between a tube and mainline and got the most crippling intermittent tummy pains (not like diarrhoea), more all-consuming like contractions. By the time I’d got a few yards out of the station, I was leaning against a wall, trying to ignore my heart racing and feeling faint. When the crippling pains would pause for some seconds, I’d take a few more steps, thinking I’ll be at the station soon, worst case I can ask for help there. It was a Sunday afternoon, so station was unstaffed and I hadn’t considered that. I slumped to the floor. I was helped by another waiting passenger, managed to whisper contact to call to collect me. I too was ill - it was the start of long covid for me and I knew nothing then about exertion leading to crashes and my personal physical manifestations of that. Unfortunately neither did my doctor, so I now have panic attacks on my health record. I’d hope I’d ask someone for help in the future, but it’s not always easy in the moment.

It’s awful people assuming they shouldn’t help if it’s drug or alcohol related though. I once saw a young lad (looked like a freshers student), walking up a busy road falling about and being sick. I was in a taxi in a rush to catch a train so couldn’t stop but my taxi driver promised to go back and check and ring an ambulance if needed.
I always worried about that young lad if he was ok.

I’ve rang the police a couple of times in the past - once there was a young boy passed out in the park first thing one morning, another was a man fast asleep, drunk, in my stair.

Id always help people, no matter what may have caused them to be ill. I always think of their relatives worrying about them

I would not go NEAR anyone who was vomiting in the street, anything else I would have absolutely helped.

just for reference you really are a massive tit. The google medical degree is doing nothing for you here.

Whatever the reason people don't help, it does make you feel a bit rubbish.
It happend to me twice in my early 20s.
Once I ran for the train after giving blood, literally only ran the length of the train, but was really dizzy and spent the 10-15 minute journey alternating between crouching down and trying to stand up. Not one person asked if I was okay or if I needed to sit down.
There were a few of us stood in the same area. I'd been able to keep track of where we were, so got up to get off the train and started to collapse. Two people lifted me up under the arms, walked/carried me off the train to the bench on the platform, then got back on the train. I don't remember them saying a word.
Someone walking past saw what had happened and came to see if I was okay and sat with me a bit.
I was so embarrassed, and couldnt see for a little while, everything was just white.
Thankfully I only lived 5 mins walk away, so after about half an hour I walked home (and felt like shit for the rest of the day, might have been one of the last times I gave blood).

The 2nd time I ended up crouching down at the counter, then lying down, in the pharmacy opposite my Dr's surgery.
I wasn't well and had just come out of an appt.
I literally had people ignore me and one person stepped over me to get served. Then leave.
Not long after the person working behind the counter noticed me on the floor and helped me to a chair.

I could only presume that on both occasions people thought drugs or drunk and didnt want to get involed.
Still pretty shitty though.

I don't have a medical degree.
I didn't google.

The op said she knew she was dying, but she wasn't.

She might have felt like she was, that's different.

Its a psychological phenomenon called "bystander apathy".

Kitty Genovese was murdered in a courtyard surrounded by a large number if apartments. Everybody left it for somebody else to call for help ... nobody did.
You need to take action yourself if this happens again.

Heart rates over 200 (lower than that actually) are extremely unstable and can be fatal pretty quickly. I’m an ED nurse & if someone arrived in my dept we would have them in the resuscitation room immediately- pretty much only someone with ongoing CPR or an airway obstruction would be of higher priority….

If you’re dying you die - Very true, unless the thing you’re dying of is reversible and they receive treatment for it.

You could take almost any medical area as an example here but let’s go blood loss because it’s simple. You’re in a car accident and cut an artery. It bleeds heavily. If it continues to bleed for a few minutes you’re dead. Therefore, for those few minutes you’re dying. If someone arrives and puts pressure on the wound, a tourniquet on, air ambulance replace the blood and fly you to hospital, you live. Does that mean that for those few minutes you weren’t dying before interventions saved your life? Just because someone didn’t die doesn’t mean they weren’t, at some point dying.

If your heart stops, you’re dead. If you are successfully revived it doesn’t take back the fact that you were, for a short time clinically dead.

I stand by what i said, you weren't dying. Proven by the fact you didn't die

Oh wow. That is horrendous.
i think it’ll be worse in the future as younger people have learned to watch and record the incident before acting, if acting.

Seeing the video footage from the Swiss bar far shocked me, thinking where is the survival instinct over catching a good video of the ceiling on fire.

Like you said yourself, you don’t have a medical degree :)