MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

[Elliee0810]

I am the MOH for my sister for her wedding in May. We are both very close!
After 4 miscarriages I am expecting my miracle baby 6 weeks before the wedding (if baby is overdue this could be 4 weeks).
I have asked my sister if my MIL could look after the baby upstairs in the hotel room the entire day. My sister has said in the past she wouldn’t want the baby to steal the limelight so I thought if baby is “hidden” nearby I can quickly nip up if I’m breastfeeding or if he won’t settle. My sister has absolutely said the baby is not welcome at the wedding (which I understand a tiny bit) or not welcome to stay in a hotel room upstairs being cared for. She said it’s her day and should be all about her and not the baby and that she’d resent me and the baby if he was on the premises. She said she was happy for the baby to stay nearby in another hotel or air bnb but that costs a fortune and the closest one is the 20+ minutes drive away.I don’t think I’ve ever been so hurt or offended in my life. I don’t know what to do. My husband is a groomsman and he’s thinking of not attending the wedding now as the baby will need a parent being so young. Will the baby be okay to be apart for 1-2 days? Will I be okay with this being 4-6 weeks PP? Does anyone have any advice?

Agree with everyone else as a mum and a midwife, she's being horrifically awful to you.
One day she may have her own baby and will know what she tried to put you through hopefully. Will you please let us know if she changes her mind? A loving sister hopefully will.

Your sister is self obsessed and frankly batshit. You step down. You rent the room for your baby and you and you tell her you can either have her agree to do this or you don’t come to the wedding. I hope she looks back at her behaviour and winces. A wedding is celebrating love that a couple has for each other. Jealous of a baby? Fucks sake. That’s made me cross ❎

Your sister is a lunatic. Tell her to stuff her wedding up her arse, and go and have a nice family day out somewhere. 😃

I'm glad you've made the right decision.
I wish you much joy with your forthcoming new baby.

I would tell her to get lost with her demands and be with your baby. This is nuts.

I have read this exact thread before, some time last year! Basically the same wording too. I had to check it wasn't a reopened post!

Don't go is my advice. She's a bridezilla if she thinks a baby in a hotel room well away from the proceedings is "upstaging" her! She obviously doesn't feel as close to you, as you do to her, if she is being like this! Yes it's her day, but it's not going to impact anything for her, she will hardly be paying you any attention at all, so wouldn't notice if you slipped away to feed your baby!
Weddings seem to turn people into absolute lunatics!

It's very sad that your sister made you do this. I hope that when/if she has a baby she will realise how unreasonably she has behaved. It's utter madness not to let your MIL look after the baby upstairs and have you pop back and forth to breastfeed and look after the little one. Sending you all the best for the birth xxx

your sister sounds incredibly self obsessed 🙃

sorry but it’s her wedding, it’s a big deal to her and her partner but to say she won’t allow her own nephew on site in case he steals her limelight is so childish.

my brother got married when my baby was 7 weeks old, he attended the wedding with me (I was a bridesmaid) and I still found this really hard! Being away from him while I got ready etc. I’d be pulling out

who would worry about a baby upstaging them ! i mean really.
i don’t get these all about me only brides i really don’t . no one will forget its your day. but if i was a guest attending the wedding and onew this that alone would make me think very differently if the bride going forward

I agree.

What a selfish, horrible human. My opinion, i wouldn’t be there. My focus would be solely on my baby and nothing else. She’s jealous of her own niece/nephew, how childish and immature. Withdraw now. You have bigger things happening in your life. If that’s how my own sister can treat me, then she wouldn’t be worth my time. I’d be out! Good grief!!

I would not be going!

You have absolutely made the right decision. Your sister will understand when she has her own baby.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Unfortunately you and your sister are not as close as you thought, or like many pp have said, she wouldn't be this unreasonable. You're doing the right thing and on her head be it. Enjoy every second with your precious one when they arrive 💐

Sorry but your sister is being a childish twat. She needs to giver head a wobble. That’s her niece/nephew and any new life should be marvelled and cherished. Duck out of the wedding now. I’m so angry on your behalf.

Your sister is being a diva and honestly, you put your child first at all times. No, imo it's not okay to have tour newborn baby so far away and you won't even know how you feel after the birth when hormones are crazy. You won't want to leave your baby. I'd definitely choose my child over my sister anyday if they out me in this position.

Your sister is a ridiculously immature individual who doesn’t sound mature enough to be married.

Yeah, bridezilla and a 6 week old baby are not a good mix.

Just pass on it. Tell her thats fine, you can't leave a baby that age for 2 days, so regretfully you can't be MOH.

For context, I was MOH for my best friend, but her sister organised a really boozy hen do, based around learning to make a series of cocktails with a mixologist. She was preggers, so couldn't drink at all, which you'd be right to think 🤔. I'm a recovered alcoholic so I have to avoid occasions like this if I can possibly avoid it. She gave me "permission" not to come - not in a controlling way but in a "you may not fancy this" kind of way. I didn't go. No hard feelings.

Baby comes first

Wtf is wrong with her? Has she always been a twat?

Your sister sounds delightful!! She can jog on, I'm surprised she wants ANY bridesmaids at all then she really could be the centre of attention.

I’ve rarely heard anything so bloody ridiculous. The OP’s solution is ideal. No one would even know the baby is up there.

What about if other, unconnected hotel guests have a baby in their room/s? Or has the sister paid for every room in the hotel to ensure an entirely säugling frei zone? Achtung! Säugling! 🙄

Just this.

Its too early.

Good decision, OP. It's just sad that your sister is being such a batshit Bridezilla that she thinks a baby who isn't even at the ceremony or reception is going to take some precious attention from her 🙄

First post nails it OP.