Irritated by grandparent videos for toddler

[Movingstressangst]

My parents keep sending videos for us to show our toddler. Usually of themselves/an animal they've seen. Generally around 1-2 mins long. If I don't respond (working full time/busy active lives) then they chase a few hours later to ask what he thought of the video.

My son likes them. Obviously because he's 2 he wants to watch them over and over and then often gets upset when I take the phone away.

Aibu to find this whole rigmarole really bloody irritating 😂? It's just a faff. More controversially wibu to just pretend I have shown them to him... I've been scrupulously honest so far and have genuinely shown them to him.

I'd find it annoying as I try to not show any screens to my toddler.

My dad tried to show my son a few videos and was then shocked and called him naughty because he had a tantrum when he suddenly took the phone away. My son also then relentlessly wanted to see videos as soon as he would see a phone. It took a few days for him to forget about it.

So i would be annoyed at the constant pushing of screens in a 2 year old's face.

A weekly video call would be better.

Hi both, sorry but I'm trying to limit screen time as it's been shown to be detrimental to babies development, Im sure you understand that as cute as the video is baby comes first :-)

As a grandmother who doesn’t see enough of her grandson this makes me sad. Be glad they’re interested and care.

Oh wow, I have the same problem! It's so annoying!

In my case, my child just isn't interested at all. Especially when I just get sent a picture of a park in germany that they saw on holiday. He doesn't care, neither do I. Leave me alone! I already hate my phone as it is without this nonsense 😂

If I show him a video of an animal or fire engine or something, he just kind of stares blankly, like So what? I've also told them it's pointless but they insist.

Why does this always get trotted out? 🙄

every time they send you a video

send them a link to why screens are bad for children

https://www.thestar.co.uk/education/screen-time-experts-screens-causing-permanent-damage-children-under-6-change-5156431

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9d0l40v551o

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10353947/

here are some to get you started

You then ignore the further follow up

Exactly! I really can't imagine the child will grow up with lots of warm fuzzy memories of being sent WhatsApp videos.

Exactly, the memories come from seeing the grandparents, not having your phone blown up.

Just be honest

When my parents retired they became very demanding of mine and my siblings time. I think over time retired people forget how hectic working life is, never mind with a toddler/baby.
I would gently say this to them tbh.

I also get anxious if I’ve not responded to something, so it can feel like a burden for this reason.

Good luck

It’s a heartfelt advice from someone who knows how hard life can be to be annoyed about stuff that one day you’ll remember as innocuous. Unless you choose to live a life of drama over small things. But one day, when big problems will come on the way, you’ll remember how small these things were and you’ll realise how lucky you were. That’s why it gets trotted out. It’s about having some perspective. But if people choose not to happy days !

YANBU OP.

I don’t show my 1yo anything on the phone and try not to use it around her - no way would I be showing her videos on it! My DM is super involved but wouldn’t expect us to do that.

This is about the least intrusive thing they can do. It's not like they're pushing for video calls. You've said yourself that your son loves the videos. So why would you withhold them?

Erm, have you met a toddler recently?!

My son loves chocolate, ice cream and endless YouTube. Giving them to him really often isn't good for him, and it causes a lot of emotional turbulence. Luckily his grandparents understand and broadly follow what we advise in terms of dos and don'ts for what suits him. I'd be pretty pissed off if I couldn't tell honestly.

They might mean well, but I would find this annoying aswell! If it was 1 or 2 now and then, that’s fine, but not all the time and pestering for a response from you and your 2 year old! I know it sounds miserable, but parents have enough to do during the day without another thing on the list with it being a regular thing!
If you don’t say something they’ll probably do this for years. Just say “as nice and thoughtful as your videos are, we don’t have time to watch videos all the time.” They could just show your son when they see him instead.
My MIL used to be similar and would constantly separately message myself and my partner on a night for hours, and all day for myself while my partner was at work. Again, harmless small talk, but it’s over the top.
Just have to leave time between messages and they’ll get the hint you’re busy!

A 2 year old shouldn't be getting screentime at all really, just say no..
Although difficult now that you've been letting him watch so they're sending videos out of love

Oh god, definitely lie! Reply with ‘Ha ha! Johnny very impressed’

Then show him when you can.

My DH does this when he works away. My son had a thing for Thomas the tank engine and my husband sent me videos of fucking tube trains when he had meetings in London, complete with commentary ‘Look Tommy, it’s the 13.45 to Charing Cross! Choo choo mind the gap!’

🤦🏼‍♀️

Tell them to stop. They shouldnt be bothering you with all that.

No she dosent have too.

Why dont they learn they cant keep expecting her to have time to her child these videos, they keep chasing her for a response too its over the top.

It’s a bloody video of his grandparents ffs. Get a grip 🤣

How about talking to them.about it. Put some guidelines/ boundaries in place.
"Hi mum/ dad, little Johnny loves seeing you on the videos so much i cant get anything done 😂😂😂 I was thinking that if you send him one of two, I could show him at bedtime on Friday and then we could facetime on the weekend so you can talk to him about it, while I crack on with folding the laundry" or whatever works for you.
There's ways to say things, and ways to say things. I never wanted to upset my parents, but I'd give anything now to be able to play back a clip of my mum talking to me.

She clearly states it’s lots of videos of eg animals they’ve seen and they constantly ask for feedback. If it was one ‘bloody video’ she wouldn’t be asked for advice about it.

It really isn’t difficult. A good rule of thumb (certainly if you live nearby) is consider first whether what you’re about to do actively helps the parents and makes their lives a bit easier, rather than placing yet another obligation on already busy, tired and probably stressed people.

It's sweet they think of him but definitely pretend "yes he loved that!" Keeps everyone happy, they feel loved, he's oblivious because he's 2 and you aren't wrestling the phone off him for hours. I do this when SiL sends hundreds of cat videos, I've got my own cat if I want to look at one.... When he gets older they may ask him about them, if they see him regularly, so you might need a plan at that point, but at this age I'd do what works best for getting through the day!

Can you think of any other ways to demonstrate interest and care other than repeated sending of videos to a working parent and requests for comments on every single one of them to their timetable?