Child protection plan - Devastated

[SENSummer]

Posting for traffic as SEN board is quiet.

We have a high needs AUADHD non verbal DS. Specialist school, learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. Lovely but hard work and disregulates in school holidays. His home carer recently quit due to his violence and not feeling safe which they put in writing and I shared with SS.

I gave up work (both professionals) and became DS carer (also has a younger sibling) and have absolutely advocated for him every step of the way.
We kept asking for additional support and being denied at panel. DS is almost 6 but huge, 9-10 clothes. We reached breaking point this Christmas. We felt we couldn’t keep him or ourselves safe in the home and were really at the end of our tether. I rang social services and recounted how uncomfortable we were with the events of Christmas, said we wanted to consider section 20 or residential school if they wouldn’t help us further. They had a meeting this week and put both kids on child protection plans. Said DS is staying with us as we are what’s best for him.

Im just completely devastated. Barely stopped crying for 24 hours.

There were quite a few inaccuracies told in the meeting that compiled made us look really negative. There’s also things like DS having a safety gate over his room which everyone (including SS and OT) has known about all along and never raised issue with but now it’s a massive issue.
I can evidence most of these things but I’m terrified to even try. They have all clearly decided we are now the problem. Apparently the police who were in the meeting (never had police involvement in our lives) heard all of this and were very unhappy.

No one has ever had an issue with our parenting if anything I’ve always been commended for my perseverance with DS. I honestly wish I’d never said anything, we just really needed help.

This! So sorry you’re going through this.

In case you haven’t already come across it https://www.newboldhope.com/articles-written-by-yvonne-newbold

The first bit of advice I want to give you is to phone Damien Dobson at JWP Solicitors for a free consultation; he is an expert in securing s.20 accommodation for children like yours and mine. You may also want to seek out help from Michael Charles if you want to go down the road of securing a 52-week residential school placement for your DS.

OP, I have been put through the hell that is a s.47 child protection investigation, followed by an initial child protection conference which resulted in my children being put on child protection plans. People here will assume that there is no smoke without fire and that you and I are terrible parents. I would urge them to read the report into the systemic abuse of the parents of disabled children compiled by the leading disability charity Cerebra and Professor Luke Clements of the School of Law at the University of Leeds. Parents of severely disabled children and young people are routinely blamed and shamed and persecuted by children’s social care when they reach rock bottom. You have a legal right under the Children Act 1989 to seek to have your DS accommodated by the state.

I am an adoptive parent to two and my elder AD is disabled as well as having significant (possibly hereditary) mental health disorders. In January 2023, my AD1 made a false allegation of common assault against me. I was arrested, detained in custody for 21 hours and interviewed under caution with a duty solicitor present. My AD1 is extremely violent to me and my younger adoptive daughter, who is now nine. We are well known to the police. After my AD1 made her false allegation, I phoned Damien Dobson, who is renowned in the adoptive community, to seek a s.20. My s.20 request was rejected, primarily on the basis that children’s social care would not be able to find appropriate accommodation given her significant disabilities and multiple complexities, but that there were aspects of my parenting that were ‘troubling’ so I would be put through a s.47 investigation. As someone has written up thread, it’s ironic that a parent trying to exercise their legal right to a s.20 is refused but then left at home with said child!

Following an initial child protection conference, my two children were placed on child protection plans for three months. On the grounds of emotional harm. Because I asked for my elder daughter to be reaccommodated by the state. One of the accusations used against me in my ICPC is that I described my AD1 as a ‘sloth in a human body’ to a family intervention worker. You would have to meet my AD1, who is multiply neurodivergent, to understand that this is an accurate description! She literally never moves if she can help it. The sloth theme is a family joke and the sloth is her emblem.

I write this stuff to illustrate how CSC will come after you and twist stuff. It’s utterly humiliating and completely bewildering. You will feel like Alice in Wonderland falling down rabbit hole after rabbit hole into even crazier scenarios.

What I would say is lawyer up, seek out help from organisations like the Family Rights Group and know your rights. I didn’t and I was completely done over at the ICPC. I have toughened up now.

Be aware that the so-called ‘independent reviewing officer’ who will chair the conference actually isn’t. They are in the remuneration of the local authority and they sit alongside their social worker colleagues in their office. Ensure you receive every report ahead of the conference. Shockingly, I didn’t have four reports ahead of time. Correct everything that is wrong in every report. Explain every misinterpretation of your words and actions.

You will be allowed to take a friend/supporter with you, provided you clear it with the IRO. Despite the humiliation, feel bold enough to challenge every untruth. You are entitled to an independent advocate as is your child.

If you would like to speak directly about my experience and what I would do differently, then I am always happy to help. I’m now campaigning hard to stop the systemic abuse of parents like you and I who are punished rather than helped when we reach out to services because we are on our knees.

This happens, you made a threat out of sheer frustration and they've pushed back, you won't be likely to make one again. Crazy.
I didn't read your previous thread, I hope things work out okay.

Yes, this is how desperate parents are punished for trying to seek help when they are at the end of their rope. It should never come to this level of brinkmanship. There ought to be recognition of extreme parenting and a state-sponsored willingness to help.

from what you’ve said I don’t think they are on a child protection plan.
a strategy meeting is the start of that process and it’s purpose is to decide if threshold is met for a s47 investigation.
if they said yes then the child should be seen within 24 hours.
they have 15 working days from the strategy meeting where threshold was met to hold the initial conference.
you should be invited and get written reports from all professionals 3 working days before hand (except for police). If you don’t then you can ask for the meeting to be postponed.
it’s at that meeting the level of plan is agreed and other than a short bit at the start where police share any confidential info you are invited to it all and should be given the opportunity to share your views.

OP - I did read your previous thread.
Your DH and you were divorcing and you didn’t want to be left caring for your disabled 5 year old as you could not cope and wanted him in residential care..?
This current scenario is how you achieve that.
whatever you said to get this level of involvement with a Section 47 investigation will get the relevant authorities involved and a decision made.
The concerns raised by the various agencies about child gates and so on are answerable by you and your husband - presumably- when you attend a meeting with the various agencies.
Of course your other child will be considered in the investigation- the authorities will want to ascertain whether those children/child can be cared for safely by you.
Go through the process and I’m sure the outcome will be that your non-disabled child will remain with you. It was evident that you did not want your disabled son to remain in your care, perhaps you should say that so that more people responding could be aware of the facts.
As for @LemaxObsessive ’s weird views - children who are incontinent are not swooped up into residential settings- my severely disabled daughter (fantastic in every way) has hoists in our home and is doubly incontinent. More children than you probably can imagine are incontinent. Think before you speak. Please.

I don’t think the SW has explained this to you properly if this is what has happened and you now consider yourself subject to a CP plan. You wouldn’t have been invited to the strategy meeting, that is professionals only. It would have been attended by all professionals involved with your child plus a representative from (Child Protection) police and health. It would be decided from this strategy meeting if they feel your child is at risk of significant harm. If they do then the SW will have to complete an assessment within 10 days and make a recommendation to proceed to a Child Protection Conference - the SW cannot decide and implement this plan, it has to conference which you HAVE to be invited to. Your views/feelings also should be included in this report and you SHOULD have a copy of this report before attending the conference. All the professionals involved with your child/attended the strategy will also complete their own reports but these are more informative than them making decisions. Once at the conference all these reports are presented and the CP Chair (independent to the SW team) will have the final say taking in to account all of the information heard.

From what I have read you most definitely should not be subject to a CP plan without any of the above happening. Tbh from the snippet of information, if you asked for a s.20 or residential they will likely see this as you wanting to abandon your child (I get it, you don’t!). They will not pay for either of those willingly so this is the route they have taken.

One of the things I hated most during my time as SW was the lack of explanation. From an outsider all these things are scary and terrifying whereas the procedures and lingo are second language to SW and when they aren’t explained it causes this absolute fear for the parent x

Yes, I'm fully aware what happens at a strat meeting. I was Designated Teacher in my previous career. I'm suggesting that the SW should not have made that comment to the OP. We're not talking about neglect or child cruelty here. We're talking about parents struggling with a near-impossible to manage situation, one that is likely to impact the sibling as well. These parents don't need putting under stress with veiled threats. In my view, it was a deeply unprofessional thing to do.

How very narrow minded! Not all disabled people that aren’t toilet trained need hoists or specialist equipment.

my little boy is 3.5 autistic and non speaking. He is no where near ready for toilet training (we’ve tried and tried btw) and his older sister is 10 autistic and ADHD…. She literally stopped having a pull up on at night about 2-3 months ago, towards the end it was mainly a confidence thing and she was scared of having an accident.

both absolutely fine at home. hard work- yes exhausting- absolutely
but happy and doing well in their own time.

are you actually saying that if your autistic child was six and not toilet trained you would put them into residential care for that.

they do say “if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person” it’s not a one size fits all.

I find it incredibly sad that when a parent or carer needs support they get met with barriers and everything is an absolute fight.

Op as other posters have stated, you have misunderstood SS. There will be another meeting where you are all invited.

In regards to the information that you feel has been omitted, call the SW on Monday and explain the information that you believe is missing.
Also ask for the notes from the previous meeting and they will send them on to you

You have asked for help and they are starting the process.

I'm so sorry OP. This seems to be pretty standard nowadays especially as there's no money in CIN. You'll likely get a bit more support and some more coordination. Residential is a last resort and of course costs a fortune so they use CP.

Politely correct any inaccuracies in writing. You and your husband need to show a united front, this is very important. Let them tick the boxes they have to tick and do the things they ask you to do - it's a system based on risk and compliance. Solicitors can't speak at CP meetings so save your money.

It feels really unfair and as a parent it feels cruel, like you're in a parallel universe where the tiniest of things are suddenly portrayed as big issues. And especially when you've had to do a lot more than most parents.

Solicitors can’t speak at ICPCs but if the OP wants to exercise her legal right to seek a s.20 for her DS, she will most likely need to do so with the help of a solicitor.

As @AvidLurker says the system sees asking for residential/s20 as abandonment even though everyone knows it isn't.

@ThePieceHall - the Alice in Wonderland analogy is very apt. Things get very surreal. You've got to experience it to believe it.

OP I really feel for you. We were falsely accused of something by SS and those strategy meetings are just appalling that they don’t tell the parents what was said or why they have thrown an innocent family into an S47. The PPs suggestion of doing an SAR is a good idea. Since the law changed in March SS are to be avoided at all costs. They accused me of physical abuse. When we pointed out the accusation was physically impossible they just weaseled and refused to look or listen.

DS was put through 2 humiliating medicals which didn’t find any evidence, then SS steamed ahead anyway because of my disability which they found on my medical records. I didn’t give them consent to look at my medical records, they never even asked; they can just look now. Apparently if they find you have a disability during these kangaroo investigations, it is now assumed that it must impact your child in such a way that state intervention must be required. Never mind the truth.

I’ve even seen terminal dogooders on here blithely trot out this line with no understanding of the impact on a family of false abuse allegations or unnecessary s47 investigations or intervention. I didn’t connect until now that this all happened right after the GP referred DS for support for his ADHD. 🧐

Disabled parents are being falsely accused and harassed too. We very carefully navigated the fake investigation then quietly moved abroad and have taken our in-demand keyworker skills with us. I’m sure no one will believe me that there was no smoke without fire, and will NC after this, but as others have said, it’s really bad now if disability is involved. SWs are overstretched but that doesn’t stop some of them turning the Eye of Sauron on you if they think it will save them time/money later down the line to discredit you now.

I absolutely believe some SWs are corrupt just like we know the police are. Some don’t follow proper process and some lie to families. It’s appalling that the burden of evidence is so low they can say what they want and it’s almost impossible for families to challenge that without attracting retaliation from SS. I hope you get it sorted OP.

I spent a short while many years ago in a ‘Risk of Breakdown’ team, where the sole purpose was to prevent children entering care when there were no/minimal safeguarding concerns with the actual parenting of the child. A majority of families were in exactly the same situation as described by the poster. I remember the manager constantly saying ‘well it’s tough if they don’t want their child at home, we’ll contact the police if they abandon them’.

If a CP plan is implemented hopefully it will include sufficient respite care at the bare minimum.

OP I would really consider if a s20 is something you want because whilst it is ‘voluntary’, it’s not a simple ‘ok I’m ready for my child to come home’. Unless the legalities have changed over the past few years, LAs will assess if it is safe to do so and it’s not unheard of that the ‘assessment’ is no or ‘not right now’. I don’t know if it is or if it was said in the heat of the moment but please do make sure you find a good advocate who specialises in CWD

Good for you moving abroad - edited because I have to much passion for this subject and probably will start to identify myself soon 😅

That quote from your ex-manager is absolutely disgraceful. This absolutely epitomises my experience of children’s social care. I wonder at what point social workers lose their sense of humanity and everything becomes about the pounds shillings and pence?

How awful, I'm so sorry you had to go through that..💐 What's the law change? I have a disability myself so I'd like to be aware just in case.

I’m sorry you went through anything similar to this and hopefully those days are long gone for you now, although I imagine mentally they never will. I guarantee they are not the only manager with that attitude and stance. Some managers did seem to act as though as the cost of support comes from their own purse so how dare you have the audacity to even ask!

I have family who after many years as a head teacher is now working for the LA on their SEN team doing accessments - its hard work and they deserve better resourcing.

I feel for the SWs in all these situations, they can see the situation, they know what should be done but there just isn't the resources. Its not just people saying 'LA needs to spend more money' the LA is poor and already providing lots for their county (Schools/ Roads/ Police/ Fire service/ Ambulances etc etc), even if they had the money finding the people is hard, how many people want to work with children who are violent towards them? Then everyone complains that not enough is being done (and I agree not enough is being done) then you have familes like OP who are falling apart through lack of help but where can they help come from?

If you have a residential placement with say a 2:1 ratio which is 24/7 then how many people is that for a year, I am guessing you need around 5-6 staff to cover the weekdays, weekends and staff holidays for just 2 children and then probably part-time staff on-top as well to cover everything. Its unsustainable for most LAs - no wonder they are reluctant to take children in.

OP you are incredible, doing the work of 6 people and caring for your other child too - I really hope something works out for you and once it does you can get your marriage back on track too.

I just wanted to say I am so sorry you are going through this.

I have a child with severe autism and other conditions who was locked in a cupboard at school during a meltdown. I absolutely understood why. I have been hurt during one of his episodes.

I’ve had two neighbours turn up at my front door late at night due to my child’s screaming.

On another occasion my child sustained a pretty serious injury (likely self harm) and I’ve had a doctor tell me that ordinarily he would refer to child protection.

Like you, I’ve given up my career. There is no real support.

I think you physically need to take your child to the social services office and have him melt down there. You know what will trigger him.

My thoughts would be that the LA feel a s20 would be inappropriate, there is a lot of pressure to go through the court process especially if the LA are looking at long term costly placements. I’m a SW and we are constantly asked to attend a funding panel to ‘justify’ why those on s20 can’t “go home” (not necessarily SEN children in care but included).

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, this happened to me a few years ago, I asked for help, both kids went on CPP
and I was the problem, I was begging for respite and scared for my youngest safety,
phone call a few week later saying they found youngest a foster and oldest was staying with me as youngest had no issues and was easier to foster out. Was fuming. Just needed respite from the oldest as was tired of her attacking me,
I had to fight to come off plan, I will never trust social
services again. I will never ask for help again. They are liars.

I think the Op said it was night time he was still in nappies, nevertheless less its a huge spectrum as you should know and just becsuse you, toilet trained your child ,some children are toilet trained at 9,10 + and won't be in a residential school.