To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

[VictorBaucherOrSomething]

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

Would you have told them to go and spit out the water in the bathroom sink instead of your crockery though? That’s the thing I would have nipped in the bud.

Slightly off topic but I had two terrifying choking incidents from laughing when drinking water. 😩

Some of the worst behaved kids my children know have massively strict parents who would never believe their darling Katherine/ Harry would act bad so it must have been another child.

I would allow this behaviour and my 11 year old started secondary this year. The terrible misbehaviour she has done is 1). Got a uniform strike as she forgot to tuck shirt in after PE. 2). Got lost 2 weeks into term and got a late mark and finally 3) told me that she sneaked a look on her phone when sat on the loo as she wanted to see if some sports results had been published. I’m not too concerned about her entering the criminal world quite yet, even if I do let her play daft games on sleepovers.

I hope OP does return to the thread. They posted the question as they were genuinely unsure as to whether sending the friends home had been an overreaction.

This thread gives a good cross section of answers and opinions.

HNRTFT but I have eye rolled just reading this ! Complete Over reaction from you OP .
If they were vaping,looking at dodgy you tube or had helped themselves to your booze supply I could understand it but kids having a bit of fun is pretty harmless in the scheme of things.
You really are going to struggle as your daughter gets older if you don’t unclench !

I think they were phenomenally rude. I would have sent them home too. I can’t imagine acting so disrespectfully in someone’s home.

But then my parents raised me with standards.

Seriously spitting water everywhere and not even cleaning it up ? Revolting.

@Fortheloveofpizza

oh for goodness sake, here we go with the whole ‘if you dare to have any boundaries with your kids and ever say no to them then when they are older they will go no contact with you and not let you see the grandkids (as if, they’ll want free babysitter) and chuck you in a terrible nursing home’

She's probably mortified at how wrong she got it.
I'm guessing this is the eldest child and OP has no experience of dealing with pre-teens or teens.
Honestly if this is your 11 year old being naughty it's a win. When you catch eye rolling you put a stern voice and say "I saw that". 99% of them will stop.

@VictorBaucherOrSomething please come back! 😄

You are an absolute killjoy. What on earth possessed you to act in this impetuous and unhinged manner? Or are you always like this? Your poor, poor kid!

I think you need to apologise to your daughter and her friends and her friends' parents. They were just being 11, playing a game that everyone is playing. They love it! It's a thing. Our kitchen floor has been soaked multiple times.

Also to the 34% who think this kind of miserable behaviour is reasonable, what on earth? Do you have no memory of being 11, making new friends, having crazy fun?

Also to the 34% who think this kind of miserable behaviour is reasonable, what on earth? Do you have no memory of being 11, making new friends, having crazy fun?

And would they feel comfortable sending their DC to sleepover at the house of such a hot-headed parent.

Seems multiple opinions on the game itself - some people think it’s “just water” and no harm done, but I see it as spiting into a hosts crockery and therefore very rude game and would insist the game stopped immediately (and they washed everything up and cleaned up as well)

Does she say it was on her crockery?

Thats really sad. You missed some fun. You could have joined in or help them. Its only water. You need to relax. Its a game all over the place.

This . OP had asked them to stop once already and they didn’t and have the rudeness to eye roll too. They learned their lesson there and so did your DD OP.

I’m surprised so many here think spitting on the floor and the rudeness is acceptable and not a big deal.

Also to the 34% who think this kind of miserable behaviour is reasonable, what on earth? Do you have no memory of being 11, making new friends, having crazy fun?

Honestly, I think a lot of MN'ers have completely forgotten what it's like to be a kid doing goofy, stupid things.

This. She's going to be the talk of the school. Likely not invited elsewhere too. ( I work in a school and have seen similar things)

Aww, your poor dd. Totally unnecessary over-reaction, op. So she has to go back to school on Monday and manage the friendships with two friends who were sent home from her sleepover for the sake of an eye roll and a kitchen floor that needed a wipe?

You absolutly did the right thing, they were disrispectable of your home and rude to you,eye rolling. Id of told their parents exactly how rude they were, id be dam sure those parents wouldnt of tolerated that behaviour from your child in their home. Let your DC get on with sulking dont pander to her

In this specific instance I would have called my child to one side to speak privately and said it’s ok you play this game as long as it doesn’t get out of hand, but it’s your responsibility to get you and your friends to clear up properly afterwards. I definitely wouldn’t have sent the friends home for it.

Generally speaking, we had an understanding with our dc in place that they were in charge of making their guests very welcome but also stopping them when things started to go over the top. In other words, they had to set a good example and be reasonable if they wanted friends to be invited again,

That is the bit that I would have disapproved of, it’s pretty disgusting (obviously not to a kid). I wouldn’t have sent them home (I would never send a friend home if my child didn’t want them gone) but I would make clearer boundaries to my child if they wanted more sleepovers.

I wouldn’t trust their washing up, more of a dishwasher job.

The punishment didn't fit the crime.

The OP could've dealt with it without phoning the other parents and sending the kids home.

All the OP's DD has learned is to be embarrassed and nervous of her mum.

And if she does happen to find herself getting bullied over this once word goes round, her mother is the last person she's likely to turn to.

No, I'd have just got them to empty the bowls when they'd finished and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

My parents also raised me with standards. I’m sure many of the posters on here were also raised with standards just like you were.

This doesn’t really have anything to do with how we all individually would have reacted in this situation.

What a strange and sanctimonious comment to have made.

Scott Mills or another DJ used to do this in air. Op it would t have bothered me, I woukd have given them kitchen towel to clean up. In our house I would only be worried about a slip hazard

Wait until she’s a teen. This is a game that’s played on a lot of social media. It’s just a bit of fun…

fun sponge 🤣

People aren't saying it's acceptable necessarily, they're saying the OP has massively overreacted over what is basically a non-event.