To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

[VictorBaucherOrSomething]

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

Water on the kitchen floor?

wouldn’t of bothered me at all. My kids play tha game. In the summer they do it outside. They were trying to keep it in the bowl but humans aren’t infallible. They make mistakes from time to time even when they’re not trying too hard

it’s only a little water.

theyre only 11……they were trying too hard the didn’t do it to harm anyone. They didn’t hurt anyone. Nothing got damaged.

people make mistakes. We’re human.

It's going to be lovely for her daughter at school on Monday when it gets round.

Well you taught your guests a lesson most likely at the expense of your daughter. I’ll never forget a mum explaining to my daughter that her behaviour had not been great but she did it in a very kind, supportive, forgiving way which I was very appreciative of.
I think you were harsh and I suspect your daughter will pay the price.

Yup.

this.

I had a kid break my tv!!! Yes I was annoyed. Yes I told the mum. But the girl bless her was trying to help. She tried to clean it. So I get why she did it

like I said. Kids sometimes don’t mean to do that.

If your daughter lives to 100 she will remember the embarrassment of last night. How I handle these things is to only give out to my child. I would have asked to her to come with me for a second - told her off for not listening to me. The eye roller would never be over my door again. There was a woman I know who kicked off about behaviour after her kids 6th birthday. She committed social sucide. If they are shits I wave them off say little and NEVER have them back.

You are never too young to learn or be taught manners. Obviously that’s not something a lot of parents care about so it’s not surprising they think manners and having fun are mutually exclusive.

This is what I did to a kid who was here who had no respect for my son’s possessions or the house in general. I waved him and his mum off in the morning (when she picked him up), said nothing to either of them, but he never stepped foot in the house again.

I teach kids this age and we have played it in class, i joined in (part of their end of term fun day). Its a challenge type thing on tiktok. Its also water, not acid 🙄
I rolled my eyes reading your post tbh so can see why they did too. As long as they cleaned up the mess I cannot see the issue at all. Even if they didnt clean it.... Water dries!!!

It was water...

Exactly. These things need to be dealt with in private. Friendships change over the years and can often be steered by parents of you drip feed carefully enough. If you kick off in front of the bratty child, letting them and their parents know you think their behaviour is awful, the one who ultimately suffers is your own child who is embarrassed and could face backlash at school.

Of course manners are important, but I would never humiliate my own child in front of their friends to make that point. You address it in private, as a family, that you found the behaviour rude and were really disappointed in them (then hope and pray they make some nicer friends).

It’s a bit of water? Your poor daughter is probably so embarrassed. I’d be rolling my eyes too.

Well if the kids had had any manners they would have done as they were asked & could have continued with the sleepover.

Why would you be rolling your eyes about being asked to clean up water that you had spilt/spat?

I think people are being very unreasonable about a bunch of 11 year olds at a sleepover. There's absolutely no room for normal childhood silliness on here at times and that's fucking sad. Maybe treating children like human beings instead of either lords of the manor OR little robots who do what you say simply because you say would go a longer way to fixing all the social ills that people seem to think are embodied in a few silly girls having fun.

You would be rolling your eyes at a narky mother totally overreacting to what you see as a bit of fun.

Sending them home is OTT, and I’m not one to tolerate bad behaviour or disrespect.

Maybe, but as a guest in her house you would stop the game & clean up wouldn't you?

Id have done the same op and if you rang me and told me my child was spitting in your house and then rolling their eyes at you, id be so embarrassed and dc would be in a lot of trouble. You dont go to other people's houses and behave that way.

At 11? I honestly don't know. For all we know her daughter also rolled her eyes and said ignore her. Or they were about to stop. Or they meant to but just got a bit silly and so didn't stop immediately. They're children.

The OP didn't deal with the problem on her own in her house. This to me is very wrong. Yes they were her house, her rules but that means its also her responsibility to deal with the issues that arise and not go immediately telling tales. It makes her sound incompetent. If I was the other parents I'd think OP can't manage children at all.

She did tell them to stop playing and to tidy up, and they completely ignored her and carried on as they were......

Tell them they have to clean the mess before going to bed, yes. Sending them home? Poor daughter, nobody will ever come over now, you didn’t need to be such a spoiler-dragon. What would you rather - they’re on phones all night?

Lol at this. Have you seen how outraged people are on this thread that OP wouldn't let children spit on her floor? Can you imagine the fallout if she actually disciplined them?!!

My house, my rules, your kid, your problem.

There's a world of difference between spitting water into a bowl as part of a game and spitting in someone's house like you're implying. Yes, some of the water got on the floor during the game but they were mucking around, not spitting in anger or insolence.