To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

[VictorBaucherOrSomething]

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

well one of them has apologised so that's good.

I had very firm rules when we had sleepovers. Due to the range of activities and fun on offer here - despite my absolute rules on one or two things - we had kids staying over most weekends for years.

I genuinely would think as a parent that much worse went down, for a parent to lose it and send them all home.

So yes, she could well have got into more trouble than deserved.

They were having fun with water!!! It’s water! What harm could this possibly do.
I hope this doesn’t result in friendship issues for your daughter. I feel sorry for her.

Yes tbf now I think on it i think id assume something far, far worse must have happened for DC to be kicked out of a friend's home at 11 y/o and maybe the friends mum is downplaying it

It was a harmless game. I'd have left them to it and made them clear up after. Sending them home was a massive overreaction.

Sounds like some awful trend from tik tok 🙄 glad i keep my DD away from all this sh*te.
Id have been less than impressed either after theyd been asked to stop, no respect whatsoever.
Id be absolutely mortified if any of my children didnt listen to another parent whilst in their care....clearly shows the calibre of parenting....shocked so many mumsnetters think its nothing and a harmless game....plenty of other ways to have fun and even if you wouldn't mind it in your own house if another fanily doesnt like it and asks you to stop you should....
....as a teacher this lack of respect for other people and their boundaries/rules is something that makes me despair every day

I always think this is a cop out (not just in this case) way to avoid actually justifying reactions.

Between this and the people who are taking about respect and social media tends etc rather than helping their child have fun with friends I do wonder if people on here care more about their lino than their kids

If it wasn’t a harmless game what is the actual harm? Who or what would have been harmed?

Kids are going to be silly. Let them get on with it and make them clear up when they get sick of making themselves snort. Maybe require them to do it in the bathroom or somewhere where they’re not getting in the way.

They wanted to have fun. Sending them home was a bit OTT.

The rudeness of the eye-rolling is irritating - call them out on that. it’s astonishing how effective a non-parental grown up can be on the behaviour of a pre-teen.

The harm was, they were asked to stop, but didnt.
Its OPs house 🤷‍♀️

Once or twice, it doesn't matter. they had their chance.

You're a guest in someone's home making a mess and she tells you to stop and clean up yet they continue, she doesn't owe them another warning but I guess you will play that pandering game where she has to tell them 5 times and beg them right?

It's a lesson for her daughter, if you want to be trusted to have your friends over you need to ensure you're all playing by the rules or you lose that privilege.

I would be mortified if I was told that my daughter was doing that and after being told to stop rolled her eyes and continued.

Sorry quoted you incorrectly, we are in agreement! :)

Still didn't warrant such a bad tempered OTT reaction from the OP though.

At least own of them seems to be reasonable, is she the daughter of the parent who was mortified? I'm assuming the one who hasn't apologized is the daughter of the parent who was miffed which says a lot.

I would have left them to it whilst thinking to myself it would have been nicer if it was summer and they could play it outside. But would have made them clean up after. Girls between the age of 10-15/16 are complete pains in the arse - this and a bit of eye rolling is very mild

".as a teacher this lack of respect for other people and their boundaries/rules is something that makes me despair every day"

If you expect children to always do as they are told first time, every time, then, respectfully, teaching probably wasnt the best career choice.

Just to be clear im not suggesting kids should be allowed to run feral, but it is a very, very normal part of development for children to disobey and be dicks sometimes. Id have thought a teacher would appreciate that, as frustrating as it must be.

Huge over reaction. Like, crazy OTT. I think it should be you apologising.

You asked them to stop. They carried on.
You asked them to.clean up. They didn't. Pretty poor behaviour when a guest in someone's home.
Your daughter should be grounded and no more sleepovers until the behaviour improves

Literally had this exact situation at a sleepover with my boys. I gave them some towels, let them crack on and just told them I expected to find the kitchen the way it was when they started after they were done. All was tidied. I can absolutely understand some 11 years olds thinking a cheeky eye roll (not realising they could be seen) was OK too. I think you massively overreacted to 11 year olds being a bit silly.

Blimey, what an overreaction. I thought you were going to say they'd raided your booze cabinet or downloaded porn or something.

Like anyone's going to feel comfortable leaving their child in the OP's care, and as if the DD is going to risk being a laughing stock again 😳

I think we can safely say sleepovers are a thing of the past for the OP's child.

Something similar happened when I was a child and we still talk about it every now and again in our thirties!

Wow loosen up OP, it’s a sleepover and it was water - water dries! So they rolled their eyes, big deal! They’re 11! Where is the crime? Your poor DD is going to be vilified by her friends now and you’ve just potentially made her life miserable at school for a few days next week.

If for no other reason than that friends' parents can't actually plan their night on the assumption that it will actually be a sleepover.

Let's be clear that they were a bit overexcited and got carried away. The did not eye roll dirty at op, they didn't behind their back. I was raised with standards too and once recall getting a smacked bottom and being sent to bed for being caught poking my tongue out at my Mum because she had told me off. They are 11 and immature and highly likely to dislike being told off for doing something they were enjoying, especially if its something that might have been acceptable to play in their own home. Even the nicest teenagers get carried away and more brazen when with their friends. The sending home was a total overreaction.