Parents want to take grandchildren away

[Olive72]

My parents live abroad for several months a year. We visit them every summer and they are back in UK a lot too. We are close as a family and they are very involved with my DC. This included 5 days a week 8-4 free childcare before DC started school and drop off and picks ups every day since. They didn’t start living abroad until youngest started school and always come back if we need them to have the kids.
We are planning to go over again in the summer and they have asked if they can fly home and pick up the kids 2 weeks before that and have them until we get there. I have said No but feel I may be being unreasonable. Opinions would be very much welcomed

Weird. And despite apparently being the eldest’s mum her parents are step-grandparents.

With such involved GP, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.

I wouldn’t want my kids abroad without me

YABU and your reasons for saying no appear to be entirely about you. Not your children or your parents.

Agree with those saying they were good enough to provide free childcare for years but now they want them for a couple of weeks to presumably spoil and enjoy them, you say no. Pretty fucked up OP.

So I also think you are the grandparent from your previous posting history.

I expect your daughter wants to spend some time with her kids. The weeks fly by and if she’s working full time I don’t imagine there’s a lot of quality time spent together. And then at the weekends she may have to work a bit and it can be a whirlwind. If the eldest has a different parent, not clear here, then they may need to spend time with them on resident parent.

Could they all come out to Cyprus a bit earlier?

Why on earth would you not let them have them to stay! Cyprus isn’t that far, they do have hospitals and doctors!

You were happy for your parents to give you free childcare when it suited you and you’re happy for them to coming running back at the drop of a hat to help you! But they’re not good enough for you to let your children go and yay with them! If I were your parents, I’d be no longer running when you shout!

It should be about what's best for the children and what they want; not you!

Based on what you have said about childcare in the past yabu, let them take the dc, enjoy the break

I thought the DC were both going to be very young but at 6 and 11I would let them go. Especially with both the grandparents being young grandparents and very involved in childcare it’s not as if it’s going to be too much for them to manage or they’re not used to looking after them and they’re underestimating it.

I think if you are not happy, then thats fine .It's an offer is all.Not a command! If you go over anyway for a holiday then thats cool .Maybe just the older one possibly?

I hope you know how incredibly lucky you are to have such a level of help and such amazing parents. If they've had them for most of the day every day up until recently I reckon they're well capable of looking after them for two weeks without you.

Yes it’s PIL. Just didn’t want anyone to think I don’t get along with them as they are absolutely wonderful. My parents aren’t as involved unfortunately

This is 100% a reverse written by the granny

That’s so lovely that they treat her the same ☺️

Would the kids enjoy it and would they be safe? It sounds like the answer would be yes and yes so I'd put my own feelings aside and agree. You can always say yes but for a week if it makes you feel better. They've done the grunt work of pre school childcare so you clearly trust them and it sounds like they have a good relationship with the children. So it sounds like you're maybe putting your own preferences above theirs (when they've done so much for you including it sounds like postponing moving abroad until the children were school age) and your childrens.

Why would you say no? We used to stay with my grandparents and my unmarried aunt when we were young. We didn't need to, my mum was a SAHM but we loved it.

I used to go away with my grandparents a lot. We had a whale of a time and a wealth of memories. You are being massively unreasonable. Let them spend time together.

So yes this is a reverse. I am the Granny. I am absolutely fine with DS and DIL decision as we are very close and I trust and respect them. However I just wanted to know if other parents/grandparents etc would feel the same.

I think it must be, step child is a gaping hole in the story.

If the DC would enjoy it, then given the history I think it is selfish to object as there is no logical reason to do so.

From a different perspective, my DPs helped a lot during the summers with DSis’ DC. Now DPs are old, frail and need day to day help, though they are reluctant to step up to assisted living within their retirement community near DSis and her family. The bond created by all those summers is paying off now for DSis and DPs as these lovely, grown YP are very happy to help care for the DGP who gave them so much.

I was already suspicious that this was a reverse.

Now you've admitted lying, I'm even more suspicious.

It's two weeks with adults that are like second parents to them.

I really don't see the big deal.

I honestly can’t see why it would be a no, I think I’d prefer a week to be fair, and that would be my suggestion. But how lovely for them to experience this, builds independence, not to mention a 101 memories with their grandparents.
Think of all the things they’ll have to share with you when you travel over to them.
I would comprise with a week - but that’s me; you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

FFS I wish MNHQ would ban posters like you.

Misleading posters is against talk guidelines!

I'd probably be okay with a week but I'd struggle with a fortnight.

It would be good to have a week to do all your marking or prep and free up the rest of the holidays.

I do think grandparents get a different experience if you are not there and it would be lovely for the kids. Or can you visit a bit longer and your husband fly out for the later week? I'm assuming he's not a teacher and doesn't get so much leave?

If I had invited the level involvement from my parents in my children’s upbringing that you have, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let them go if the children wanted to.
To their Grandparents it must seem that they are only allowed to look after them if there is a need, rather than being able to spend time with them just because they enjoy it.
If my children had fit, able and really involved Grandparents that wanted to take them away for a 2 week holiday, I would say yes knowing that I would miss them but also knowing that isn’t really a reason for them to miss out.
Just seen this is a reverse… I still think it’s a shame for the kids 2 miss out on an extra holiday but why bother reversing this scenario?!