Parents want to take grandchildren away

[Olive72]

My parents live abroad for several months a year. We visit them every summer and they are back in UK a lot too. We are close as a family and they are very involved with my DC. This included 5 days a week 8-4 free childcare before DC started school and drop off and picks ups every day since. They didn’t start living abroad until youngest started school and always come back if we need them to have the kids.
We are planning to go over again in the summer and they have asked if they can fly home and pick up the kids 2 weeks before that and have them until we get there. I have said No but feel I may be being unreasonable. Opinions would be very much welcomed

They can take mine then.
Without some massive drip feed that both children have complex health problems & both of your parents are crack heads then I can’t imagine saying no!

Well… what is the case for and against?

It would be a solid no from me.

How old are the children?

My parents used to do this. I missed my kids terribly and used to dread it, but the kids absolutely loved it. So I sucked it up for their sakes.

I'd be biting their hand off.

They're good enough to look after your kids when it suits you, so why not?

Why did you say no?
I think it sounds lovely ☺️ nice that your parents want to spent the time with them and not just because it is needed :)
but not in your situation and don’t know as much as you, but from what you say if I was in your position I would be saying yes.

It sounds like your parents spent a lot of time with the kids and are missing them now that they don't see them nearly as much.

It does sound like a good deal - you don't have to cover two weeks of holidays and the kids get to spend time with grandparents.

If you feel two weeks is too long, can you compromise with a week?

Do you doubt their ability to keep your children safe? If they're capable and responsible, it could be a golden opportunity to tackle that DIY project you've been putting off or go away for a child -free holiday.

I haven’t voted, as for me it would depend a lot on the ages and individual personalities of the children, and how well you feel they’d cope with being away from their parents for that amount of time.
How well do the children get along? Would they be sharing a room or have their own space?

i wouldn’t be comfortable with that either.

Kids are 6 and 11. I can be very over protective and like my kids with me. Also it’s Cyprus so a long way away if something goes wrong. They are the best grandparents you could ever wish for and my children adore them. I would also add that the eldest is a step grandchild from a previous relationship but they treat her exactly the same as the other

We need to know why your initial reaction was 'No'. From what you have written here, they seem to know the children well. It's not performative grandparenting.

I’d have already packed their cases!

How old are they and why don’t you want them to go?

I wouldn’t want to be away from my kids for two weeks so would say no on that basis. Especially in the summer hols. Weekends to do nice things and evenings are light to do things after work.

There is 2 questions to make a decision
-do your children want to go?

• are they at risk of any physical or emotional harm if they go?

if you only said no due to missing the kids then I would say you being unreasonable.
There are loads of things to think off.

1. Do the kids want to go
2. Do you trust your parents
3. Is the abroad country safe If the answer to all of the above is yes then I would let them go. What would the kids rather some poxy summer scheme which costs a fortune, a few measly hours in the evening with their parents or two weeks abroad with Granny and Grandad!

Kids great on great. They have a 5 bed house so plenty of room. They are also young grandparents 48 and 53

I would bite their hand off but its your decision.

Maybe 2 weeks feels too long for the first time? How about a week?

Then there is zero reason not to let them! It will be good for everyone.

Christ - do you know how lucky you are?!

They sound like they’re wonderful grandparents. I’d have let mine go with no issues.

We have done this before on two occasions for a week then we went for a long weekend to see family and collect the children. They had a great time and we fully trusted the grandparents as they have always had a close relationship like you describe.

I am a teacher so they would be at home with me in the holidays

So they're fine for shed loads of free childcare but not for time on their terms? You might want to think about the message you're sending them before you need them to head back for childcare again

I would have said yes, yes and yes!!!
What a treat for the kids, what a treat for you!