Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

All props to you OP. You’re doing great and ignore the negative comments about your parenting. You are bettering yourself and no one should be arguing with that!! I do have a question though - how do you get funded hours if your partner works in finance? Like an investment banker I would assume? Does everyone get those hours regardless of earnings? Genuine question and no judgement whatsoever btw before anyone jumps on me, just curious.

As long as you're there before your contracted time of 6.30pm then you shouldn't be feeling guilty at all. If it's mentioned again remind them of your contract with them & agreed time for pick up is up to 6.30pm. Email the Manager to clarify that you need childcare until 6.30pm on a Friday & don't appreciate staff saying they want to finish early or that your child is last one out & asking for you. Ask if it's a problem for them to suggest a day they can accommodate a 6.30pm finish without the staff wanting to finish earlier.

@SouthLondonMum22

I think it's a bit different when the child is older and more able to cope with being away from their mum. 2 year olds are not ready for that for extended periods of time IMO.

So it only counts as ''dumping'' when you don't agree with it?

Got it.

No one has asked for or want your opinion, please keep it where it belongs. Dont push your views onto other people - in other words

• get back in your judgey little box.

Which is completely and utterly beside the point.

Suprised by the number of posts saying the obvious, that it’s a long day. Clearly OP is very well aware of this and feels bad - but has no other option? she’s studying to better herself, which benefits her child. It’s easier studying as toddlers than it would be trying to juggle a 3pm pickup.

OP I would speak to the manager and state as agreed pickup is 630pm. Explain what’s happened and the comments and state if the time is problematic you can shift to a Thursday, otherwise it will be as agreed and 620-630pm each week. Their choice then - they shift it or they shut up and deliver the service you’ve paid for.

So you must miss out on evenings with your children?

@GotStrands

I'm taking a break in my career to be a SAHM.

That's you doing you, as @CheekyTealFawn is doing her. Great we have a choice in the 21st century.

Fuck me we don't need the patriarchy to bring us down do we. We've got mumsnet.

Awful isn't it. Mums now needing to apologise for mumsing in the way they choose. Meanwhile Dad's get to pursue their career aspirations without a seconds thought.

I’m my area, it’s common for children to attend childcare from 8-6. Not sure why so many are stating the obvious, it is long but what can you do when that’s the hours you work/ commute? Part time isn’t an option for many people.

Late yes. I'd be annoyed too.

But not someone who arrives 5 minutes before the end of the day. If they need the care until 6.30 they need it. My pick up time used to 6pm and I was generally there about 5.50, including on Fridays.

Exactly - I wonder how many times someone says to a dad "oh that's a long time for your child to be at nursery/at the childminder".

Or if they do it will be couched around like "oh that's a long time for your child to be at nursery/childminder, can your wife not pick them up earlier".

I suggest you take a visit to the Nordic countries.

Your Mind Will Be Blown.

Your kids are going to be saying this someday.
Try to remember that on the difficult days.
Okay? Deal?
Good. ❤️

What an unusual definition of 'gently'.

Hi I've not commented on this before but have read the comments. Some of the comments are disgusting and I think made out of envy.
FWIW I just want to tell you that I also sent my DD to nursery for long hours whilst I was at university.That was 30 years ago. We all survived and my DD now has a fabulous career of her own and a baby on the way.
Hope you resolve the issue with the nursery or find one that suits you both better.
Good Luck with your studies. X

“gently” on MN = “about to be vile, want an excuse to avoid deletion"

10+ hours is standard for working parents working/studying standard days, eight hours plus commute time at either end. In this case its only two such days per week.
Good for the OP working hard to improve hers and her child’s life chances.

agree, some jealous people on here.

Jealous in what way?

Thank you 🥹🥹🥹

This is so kind of you, so happy to hear about how amazing your daughter is doing now after you were in a similar situation to me when she was young. I appreciate your kindness!☺️