Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Same. This rings alarm bells.

Poor mum and poor child. What an unpleasant experience.

This!!
Usually on nursery post, I always feel the parent is being a bit sensitive. Mum guilt, emotional time, precious first born etc ...but not this time!
I can't believe they would give a child the impression that mum had dropped them off for the first time and not come back for them, talk about way to give a child separation anxiety.
I would definitely complain with this one

As someone else doing an OU degree whilst working, with 2 kids, I just wanna say you are doing amazing. That sh*t is tough. Don't feel guilty, my eldest was a totally mummies boy and I put him in 3 days when he turned 2, just because it's good for them and it would make the transition to school less difficult than if we had been attached at the hip for 4 solid years...he is now 8 and a half and still a total mummas boy who has to be coaxed into school on the daily, but also confident and outgoing once he is in.

@Differentforgirls

why have you reported that? Like seriously what do you think mumsnet are gonna do??

Idk the nursery my 3yo goes shuts at 6, I’d never pick him up any later than 5:30.

Aldi is open until 10pm I wouldn’t go in at 9:50 to do my shopping

Is there another nursery you can try? They should have at least read to her while she was waiting for you. They sound terrible.

I couldn’t care less about what you would and would never do to be honest

I think people need to remember the OP wasn't asking AIBU to leave my daughter in nursery for a certain length of time'

I doubt the would be doing it unless they really had too. No need to make the OP feel shitty. Their doing what they can to better themselves

I'd message the manager saying "I was surprised to get two missed calls and be told that the nursery staff expected me to pick up comfortably before 6.30pm on a Friday - and a bit saddened to see my child sitting in the corner not doing anything with their coat and hat on at pick-up. I do need for the days she is in to pick up at 6.20/6.25 so if this doesn't work for a Friday would it be better to move her second day to a Thursday".

@youknowthedance

i would go in and just buy as much as i can in the time before they close. Why wouldn’t I?

Also - for what its worth I absolutely admire you combining a lot of time with your young child (4 full days a week is much more that most kids at this age have with their primary caregiver), a part-time job and university. Well done! You are both working to give your daughter a great future AND giving her a great role model.

Gosh you leave him til half five? Poor sod.

I posted earlier in support but have just jumped back on to say l have NO idea how you can be even bothered to reply to the meanest , judgemental people ! This is the most attacking post l’ve seen on here for a while - and that’s saying something . You’re a better woman than me that’s for sure . In the main, it seems like people agree that it was out of order and unprofessional …just ignore the preachers and perfect mothers ..stick with those who are compassionate and reasonable . Good luck whatever you decide to do. peace out ..

Some of these responses have made sad and depressed. Other women piling up on a hard working, committed and loving mother. @CheekyTealFawn I think you've handled yourself well on here against some spiteful comments. Now try doing the same against the nursery manager. She's out of order. Good luck with this and your studies. Just wanted to send you some love and 🫂 xxx

OP I also think it’s out of order they called you twice - I would only expect a call if there was some emergency so that kind of thing causes parents to worry unnecessarily. Two missed calls can cause panic.

@youknowthedance not even a pint of milk or something you’d ran out of and needed ? You’d rather just go without ?

I worked in Tesco many years ago.

Yes of course people couldn’t start a big shop at ten minutes before closing but people could arrive at check out and still expect to be served right up to closing time.

We didn’t put our coats on or give customer attitude. Because even as a teenager working after school in understood I was paid to work until 9pm so I was expected to deal with customers until 9pm. I was also Maurice even to be professional and friendly.

Well your work must support that. Not everyone’s situations are the same. Some have different working hours or commutes. If you’ve paid for a service you can use that service.

of course you can pop to the shop before it closed! What’s the point in opening times if you can’t use them??

You’ve done nothing wrong and are an amazing example to your child by getting a degree. The nursery is in the wrong and should be providing child care until 6.30. End of. She should be played with and interacted with until then. Make a complaint to the management and don’t put up with their unprofessional behaviour.

Ofcourse they are in the wrong. If pick up is up to 6.30 then they are contracted to at least 6.30. I am so sorry but this would make me suspicious about other practice at the Nursery and whether they are putting childrens needs first.

There're in the wrong, you would get a call at 6.30 not 10 minutes before very unprofessional

There're in the wrong, you would get a call at 6.30 not 10 minutes before very unprofessional

I'm 99.9% sure the OP can tell the time........

I think that if OP had said that she worked until 6 and couldn't get her dd before 6:20 she would have gotten different replies. The fact that she actually can get her dd early but chooses to use that time differently ; studying but could be faffing about farting for what it's worth. In the end she has paid for a service, in this case nursery, and she is allowed to pick her dd up at 6:25 in order to be out at 6:30.

@CheekyTealFawn I wouldn't leave my child with nursery workers who cared so little for her. Can you find another?

I don’t think so. Some posters are completely against nurseries and will always give OP’s a hard time for using one even if they are working.