Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

It’s open university, which is basically all self taught! There are tutorials but they’re not very good, they just do bullet points of whatever you read in the textbooks. I have an overdue assignment I had to extend multiple times with the deadline this Monday, as I’ve had no childcare since before Christmas so today and Sunday evening is my last hope to finish it!

This!

(I would like to go home now btw but I am paid to 7am)

You can only claim funding for a max of 10 hours on one day so this child’s hours will be over that.

I’d stick to posters offering you advice on your situation. Not those who dislike your choices. You’re bettering yourself for your family. You don’t need to explain or excuse your choices. Otherwise you’ll end up with a pile on.

YANBU, OP. If they are open till 6:30 then they have to expect parents will pick up any time up until then. Otherwise they should change their hours and close earlier.

Sometimes DD2 has been last one there on a Friday as they don’t have as many kids in and Friday is our later pick-up day, but we’ve never been made to feel like an inconvenience.

I can’t see where OP was asking for advice on her childcare arrangements generally so not sure why that’s being offered.

I would email saying she enjoyed her first day and then just saying could they clarify times as you were under the impression they were open till 6:30, which you need for childcare; but you were being called before that time and it seemed like staff were anxious to get away.

Maybe I should’ve clarified, she went to a childminder until she closed before Christmas from 8am-5pm, so it’s not really that unusual for her. It’s because I do open university, it is 90% self taught, one 1 hour lecture per week, and multiple assignments per month no

This is the biggest problem although their comment was uncalled for too considering you weren’t late. Even older children get anxious about being the last one. Yes it’s okay for them to get her belongings ready, but there should have been enough staff for at least one person to continue playing with her. Even if it’s just a game that takes seconds to tidy up or reading a story together.

Many children are in childcare, ignore the PPs who are questioning your need to use it.

Email them for clarification regarding your hours.
They insisted on friday and on the first day implied that she shouldn't be there for her full funded hours.
Ask for clarification and state that you need to be able to use the hours for your work.
Ask for thursday again if THEY have a problem.
So unprofessional.
If they don't wish to be open until 6.30 on a friday they need to be honest about it and not be calling you and stressing you.

I was not aware that shops closed earlier than advertised on a Friday, even though people working there have families. I have never noticed people working in shops putting their coats on before their shifts have finished. I never left my office early on a Friday just because I wanted to go home. Extremely unprofessional and it is irrelevant people saying you left her there too long - that is not what is being discussed. Poor behaviour and I would definitely bring it up with the owner. If her staff want to go home early on a Friday then she needs to be at the nursery to cover them.

True but the OP said 8:30-18:30 today. She needs to clarify which hour she’s paying for when she does a longer day…

Thanks so much for this. I’m doing the best I can with a difficult situation. I eventually want to get a job to support my family properly, hence why I started uni. I could put her in childcare 3 days per week, which is how much I need to be able to do all my work, but instead I am doing 2 so I can have 3 days with her, and then finishing the remaining 8-10 hours in the evening

Just ignore them. They are open until 6.30, don’t feel guilty, they were extremely rude.
I don’t think I’d bother saying anything about it to them, if there is anything else going wrong I’d move your child. 💐

Exactly. I feel like the worst mum and I was on the brink of tears walking home with her, trying to gauge if she noticed anything or felt abandoned which is probably OTT but I felt awful. And thank you for that last comment, I appreciate it a lot

Thank you!!!!! I can’t wait to go home at the end of the day and get back to my family, but I work in sales on a Saturday and if I have a client in last, then I give them the best service even though I’m dying to put my feet up, because they are paying for it 😅 I would be fired if I didn’t

It was v rude , she’s paid till 6:30 and should expect that service and not get hassled to pick up earlier

You’re doing great, OP. It takes a great deal of discipline to do an OU degree so well done!

I think they were very unprofessional and basically mean to do that with your child. They were more interested in getting off early rather than your child's feelings. I'd go ballistic! I hope you can find better childcare, that's no way a criticism of you OP, you're doing your very best for you and your child's future

Yes, exactly. Friday is a quieter day they said, not many kids, which is why I think it was so quiet when I picked her up. And yes apparently I am not only a terrible mum for picking her up at 6.20 but also for putting her into childcare so I can go to uni and then improve my career prospects to hopefully one day be able to provide more for her 😅

I agree, op you don’t need to justify your dd being in nursery two days a week ffs.

OP they are completely out of order. What were they expecting to say on the call?! If I were you I’d honestly change nurseries (if you can). Is a child minder an option?

Thank you!! It’s a lot harder than I thought. When they said it would be 30 hours a week I was like “yeah right”, but nope, absolutely accurate 😂

I think it’s really shitty that they were all in their coats waiting by the door when you arrived. No wonder your daughter was asking for you, they made her feel like they were leaving, and that you hadn’t come to get her when you should. Had they all carried on playing with her or whatever they were doing earlier she would have been fine. What jobsworths to be so desperate to get out that they can’t wait another ten minutes before putting their coat on, for the sake of the child still within their care.

I’ve found one though!

Thanks so much. I’m honestly considering it after this but she loves her first day so much I’m worried about instability for her

I would say something. That was very rude. I work in childcare until the evening. Right up to the last children to leave, we are polite and friendly with the parents. We would not answer the door in our coats. We would probably have the child ready in their coat if we are literally a couple of minutes to closing, but I think this is reasonable as the child is clearly about to be collected at that point.

Completely agree and it probably made her dd feel worried.