Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

No need for posters coming on and judging length of time your child is in nursery. Ignore those comments. You are clearly not doing it for the fun of it or to stay home and lay on the sofa.
It’s a shame people are not more understanding of the commitments some women have to undertake.

OP is doing the best they can in situation and sounds like their child is loved and cared for

As for the nursery I would speak to the manager as it’s out of order. Unless there was no mention that she’d be there until 6.30. That’s their closing times so they need to work those times

Thank you 🥰

we had a childminder for 2 years, she was amazing, but then university became tougher and her closing all the time for holidays and half terms became a nightmare with work and studying. Couldn’t find another who was all year round, so had to go for nursery/day care 😢

There was one member of staff at DD’s nursery that was like this, made a big drama that DD was usually last. It was a very small setting and we moved her there at 4 years old for her last year at nursery (we moved house-were at a much better setting before but had to
leave and this new one was in the school grounds of the primary she was going to so it made sense to stick it out).

If we’d had more time there I’d have made a fuss but I just ignored it. DD was perfectly happy with it, she knew what time she was picked up and didn’t mind being last. But they always had her coat on and made such a “thing” of it all. They advertised 7.45-17.30 all year but really seemed to think no-one should be there more than 9-3 term time. Frequently in holidays they implied they were doing us such a huge favour by being open. Utter knobhead really that couldn’t run a business if their life depended on it.

The care itself was absolutely fine, DD was happy there. But it was a bit of a car crash of a place in some respects.

I’d have your eye on an alternative setting at @CheekyTealFawn just in case this one won’t work out. I couldn’t have stuck this one out for more than the 9 months we needed.

I feel really sorry for your daughter. They clearly suggested to her you were late and being sat there all ready for you on her own would have made her sad and worried and is just totally out of line. I'd be really cross.

Don't feel the need to explain yourself to people like this! You're doing a full time degree and anyone who knows anything about university study knows that it is more or less the equivalent of a full time job (taught hours +self study).

You don’t need to justify anything. They’re in the wrong and I’d be complaining.

My daughter is always the last one, but we can’t get there any earlier - and it’s within their opening hours! I’ve never had an issue thankfully, I’d have felt the same as you. I work two jobs as well and any childcare is precious. She only does 2 days a week, we split the rest between my mum, my and DH. It’s fucking hard work. So if my day off falls on a nursery day I take it!

Agreed. And an unpleasant start for a new child. You have nothing to feel guilty for OP. These workers were rude and unkind to both you and your DD.

That’s exactly my problem. I just don’t want her always feeling like I’m late, she’s young but she’s so perceptive and she will gather that something isn’t right. It was so weird they were acting like I was late that I even showed them the time to say it was 6.20, as I was thinking they had got mixed up or their clocks were wrong 😂

You need to confirm their hours.

You say pick up time is BEFORE 6:30 and you weren’t there by 6:20.

It sounds like they close at 6:30 but if that’s the case they need to say pick up by 6:20 or something.

How long did it take you to get there after they rang?
Were you planning on getting there 6:30 on the dot?

I’m so sorry they made you feel this way.

I work in a school and sometimes do After School Club, we finish at 5.30 and no matter how few children (often only 1) are still there at that time we are still playing games/reading/doing Arts and Crafts etc right up until the minute their parent arrives. Even if they are running late.
I couldn’t imagine making a child or parent feel rubbish because they need to use child care that we offer.

I initially sent my DC to a nursery that did this regularly as well. There was quickly other issues as well so I moved them to another nursery where it was never an issue and a lot of children were still there at 6.30. See what happens next time and raise it.

Be kind to yourself ❤️ In your position I think I would do what someone else suggested and make it clear to them that 6:20-6:30pm will be when they should expect you to arrive on a Friday. Manager was totally out of line.

Anywhere I’ve ever worked every single adult in the building, including admin staff, have done their best to distract a child who is late being picked up, even when the parents are an hour late for the umpteenth time! The crazy thing in the situation is that you weren’t even late! Hopefully they had only been at the window with your DD for 5 minutes or so.

I’d give them grace this time but would judge the manager’s response to the email as to whether I sought out alternate childcare. Hopefully you have a choice of nurseries nearby should you need them.

I think people would prefer mums to stay at home honestly. And then for mums who do stay at home, they are also criticised for not working. No mum can win I don’t think! Thank you so much ☺️

You didn’t find one, so you thought you’d add it. Well done you.

I think that their behaviour was terrible. Would make me a little worried to be honest. If they want to leave early on a Friday they should say that pick up time is xxxx on Fridays and only charge parents accordingly. If they are open and the session runs to 6.30 then they should be working with your daughter and any other remaining children until that time, not sloping off early. Really poor show on their part.

They rang at 6.19 and then again at 6.20, about 5 seconds before I rang the door to get there! It’s about a 20 minute walk from my house. Just as I rang the door to the nursery at 6.20 that’s when I noticed the missed calls, and why I asked straight away if everything was ok as I was so confused and concerned that they’d called twice in quick succession!

You def need to take this up with the owner. Say you will not have your daughter made to feel as though her mummy is late. Say that you expect the staff to be offering the proper service right up until 6.30, not loitering by the door in their coats for god knows knows how long and phoning you multiple times to harass you to arrive earlier.

if they can’t do that then they need to let you swap to another day when they will offer the service you are paying for right up to pick-up time.

Remind them that they are service provders not your boss. You paid for a service and their duty is to provide the requiired hours. It not their place to judge you. Someone has to be last to be picked up. Learn to be tough with what randoms thing or imply.

Thank you for this, it’s great to get this perspective. I was really annoyed that she was just sat waiting for me with them all by the door, I can’t articulate why but I don’t want her to feel like a burden to them or that I’m late to get her. She might not as she’s so little, but that’s my fear

They are definitely out of order - if you're paying for the hours then they should be providing high quality childcare at that time. I can understand 6.20 getting coat on the child and saying let's watch for mummy.

Please ignore the pps criticising childcare!
You are working hard so your children can have a better future!

This is so strange

As a nursery manager their behaviour is appalling. I always give parents a 15 minute leeway before I ring. We’ve had parents come later than that (and after we should have left) ands we’d never be waiting in our coats as that’s so rude, and would stress the child out.

I’d suggest emailing the manager to ask if they do stay open til half 6 on a Friday as you are confused by the calls and fact the staff were ready to leave before the end of the day.

Why is it a piece of piss? It’s the same amount and level of work as getting the degree from a brick uni.

Also whether or not OPs child should be in nursery for those hours has nothing to do with what she’s asking

There is more than one OU course out there, they’re not all equal. And OP has already explained she has a deadline to meet.