To find it hard to care about men's issues

[Parsleyforme]

Men's cancer, diseases and suicide I do care about, but I am really struggling to care about the other modern problems of modern men.

My brother says that the modern men of today are very confused about who they should be and how they should act and that is giving them all identity crises and/or midlife crises, depending on their ages. Things like they get told that men as a whole are bad, they don't know who they are as a man anymore, they don't know how much they should show their feelings, they feel guilt even if they're a good man, they don't know what they're supposed to bring to relationships anymore etc. etc.

I'm finding it quite hard work enough to be a woman without having to worry about or really hear about men's issues as well. And I'm actually quite frustrated that I'm being expected to provide a understanding and sympathetic ear. I went to a girl's school and when I left Barbieland I had to pretty quickly catch on that lotss of men are creeps and women aren't actually at the top of any industry or even their own relationships. It actually angers me a bit that I'm expected to feel something for the men who are feeling unsettled when all we've really managed is to get them to stop wolf-whistling at us or sacking us if we get pregnant.

AIBU to feel like this? WIBU to say I don't really have the bandwidth (read:patience) for this and maybe he should talk to some men who can empathise rather than a woman?

i nod and make sympathetic noises, but i invest as much interest/energy in men's issues as the person i'm talking to invests in women's issues.

So if my DH, plenty of energy and interest. Average man on the internet? zip

I voted YABU because what your brother says is not completely without merit and for all our sakes I hope men and women manage to restrike a new balance applicable to the times. I don't think the world needs more male style energy due to women mimicking so called male behaviours and attitudes in order to get ahead. We need Yin and Yang, equal but different. Men as a generalisation are not biologically hard wired to nurture whereas women as a generalisation are hard wired to be able to nurture, provide and protect. We rock, so to speak, lol. But I do feel for the young and upcoming men too.

Yes poor men, finally being called out on their behaviour so now they blame all their problems on women. Heart bleeds. Women have been ignored for centuries.

I can understand the apathy to adult Men, but I do feel for the younger boys who are being taught that to be male is to be bad. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Don’t give a shit.

I couldn't care less.

No more pubs available, loss of traditional male industries to access etc. Woe is me.

Cry me a river.

Stfu with that whiney bullshit would be my response.

Try being Latino in the US right now where you can be kidnapped off the street by men in masks for being brown. Or shot dead in the street if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No I couldn’t care less, especially about the “male loneliness epidemic”. Brought it on themselves. They really don’t like it when they’re saying how many men commit suicide when you point out that woman attempt it more often. Takes away from the narrative that men struggle more than women.

as for men’s sheds and men’s cafes being advertised EVERYWHERE and then them saying women don’t need that sort of provision. As if we’re all popping out for a coffee with our girlfriends to chat about suicidal ideation during a shopping trip. Lighthearted isn’t it? Easy for us to chat about it to all and sundry. Winds me right up.

This is one of his arguments but is this actually true? Who is teaching them that? While we expect better from our kids than the last generation, mums are not all misandrists passing this on to their toddlers or teens.

The men I know seem to have very weak and low quality friendships and I think this will probably carry on for younger generations due to increased screen time. But I don’t feel that’s to do with gender equilibrium

Who is teaching them that? The media. I voted YABU. I am a feminist, but the polarisation of women and men, girls and boys, is bad for EVERYONE. I have a 17 year-old son, so yes I very much care about men's issues.

I have a son, of course I care. I spend a lot of time reassuring my ds that he is a kind, decent, generous hearted young man who has a wonderful life ahead of him.

But I have little patience with men's complaining that they don't know what is expected of them. It's simple - the same as everyone else -

work hard
do their fair share of the drudgery
pay their fair share of the cost
communicate
be honest, even if not kind

It's really not difficult

I work in Education. There is a lot of young men/boys who absolutely are conditioned by family and background to consider male = bad. Oh, boys will be boys....

It's so sad to see so much potential wasted through preconception.

I call Andy’s man club the place men go to talk about all the problems they created for themselves.

The world has changed, women have adapted. Men are still looking to other men to give them direction because they appear to lack the initiative to redefine their own role in the modern world. They are willing victims of the patriarchy because they know they still benefit from it.

The self pitying bleating about feeling like they're blamed for everything is pure manipulation. Men have always cared more about what other men think of them than what women think of them, they simply want us to agree "not all men" and STFU. It's not all men and not always men but it's mostly men and usually men .

Men are at higher risk for many adverse experiences (often at the hands of other men) and yet few of them try to improve their lot and it pisses them off that women are not similarly apathetic.

Male loneliness epidemic? Some of them are not nearly lonely enough.

I don’t feel the same. I have a step son, a son, brothers and many wonderful male friends and of course I care about the things that are difficult for boys and men. As I expect them to care about the things that women find hard.

Bringing boys up feels much more complicated than girls, I have both. If you ask what’s good about being a man it’s hard to think of things that aren’t traditionally things women are good at. And if you do you have to acknowledge women can do all of those things as well as men and I find that tricky to navigate. My little boy tells me he’s not a baby but a big boy and he beams with pride and I wonder what that means to him.

Many of my favourite people are men. I don't think they are feeling what your brother says. But they are not dicks and can see that it is still a man's world.

Op I just saw a man on my Instagram feed showing off his hospital stay with appendicitis and the surgery pics after with his little stickers, saying how life side swiped him all the drama.. my reaction in my own head was seriously mate seriously, when women have to wait decades for endo surgery, they have c-sections etc and your standing there in your private hospital showing off some proxy stickies. (Just showing off abs)

it made me laugh as I read you post and thought you know what, that’s a bit of me, I mean yes it’s scary but my lord, I’m seriously in a man hate phase of my life.

Only peoples issues i really care about are those people close to me and i'm assuming you're close to your brother.
I dont really find it that difficlult being a woman, just like most men probably dont find it difficult being a man.

Up to you, but I’ve got 2 sons so yes I am interested

I care only in as much as if they get very invested in this self pity then they will make life even more difficult for women. Other than that....no. No interest.

I have a son, a husband, a dad, a father in law, brothers in law, uncles, cousins, male friends all of whom I care very much for. I do indeed care about male issues in the same way I hope men care about female issues, and the ones I am close with certainly do.

Random colleague at work...no I'm not going to offer them an ear to whing at, but I'll still call out when people show bad behaviour to either sex.

I guess maybe it’s relevant that I don’t have any sons and my brother is 41 so being a man is not new to him

YABU - looking at it bluntly men’s issues are a far more serious concern. Suicide rates are shocking, and wolf whistling and objectification is rather small fry in comparison.

Men are people and I'm about as concerned about men's issues as I am about women's issues. I think it probably is tough for young men, with traditional male roles being less the norm. Not that it's easy for young women either. So yes, I am concerned for men's issues.

I dont care about anyone but me.