To find it hard to care about men's issues

[Parsleyforme]

Men's cancer, diseases and suicide I do care about, but I am really struggling to care about the other modern problems of modern men.

My brother says that the modern men of today are very confused about who they should be and how they should act and that is giving them all identity crises and/or midlife crises, depending on their ages. Things like they get told that men as a whole are bad, they don't know who they are as a man anymore, they don't know how much they should show their feelings, they feel guilt even if they're a good man, they don't know what they're supposed to bring to relationships anymore etc. etc.

I'm finding it quite hard work enough to be a woman without having to worry about or really hear about men's issues as well. And I'm actually quite frustrated that I'm being expected to provide a understanding and sympathetic ear. I went to a girl's school and when I left Barbieland I had to pretty quickly catch on that lotss of men are creeps and women aren't actually at the top of any industry or even their own relationships. It actually angers me a bit that I'm expected to feel something for the men who are feeling unsettled when all we've really managed is to get them to stop wolf-whistling at us or sacking us if we get pregnant.

AIBU to feel like this? WIBU to say I don't really have the bandwidth (read:patience) for this and maybe he should talk to some men who can empathise rather than a woman?

Terry Pratchett wrote, “evil begins when you begin to treat people as things”.

Objectification, literally treating women as objects, is the tip of the wedge that allows rape, domestic violence and abuse. It is the gateway drug. So no, I don’t think it’s small fry.

I don’t think this is a YABU/YANBU issue.

So, those who do not know a lot about something can be overconfident, whereas those who do know a lot can be less confident and self critical.

Apply it here, people who may not be behaving in a good way believe they are through ignorance. Those who do behave in a good way may be critical because they are not getting it completely right, leaving their self worth worse then people who are worse then them.

Good people will not always recognise their worth.

I care about humans as a whole , isn’t the point of equality just that? To see people as a person and not as a sex? And I have always felt lucky and happy to be a woman.

I care about humans as a whole , isn’t the point of equality just that? To see people as a person and not as a sex? And I have always felt lucky and happy to be a woman.

I care about humans as a whole , isn’t the point of equality just that? To see people as a person and not as a sex? And I have always felt lucky and happy to be a woman.

I care about male issues as I love my 2 DS's and my DH.

I would like men to thrive just as much as I would like women to

To care isn’t a finite pie. Not for me anyway.

Yes, I do care that they can reconcile their identity with decency and in the context of sexism and misogyny. As soon as everyone is comfortable in their own skins with awareness to others, the world will be a little bit of a better place.

Only good can come of raised consciousness.

There’s never been a a woman as a president in France yet their maternal health care is execellent and women have easy acces to gynecologists. There have actually been female prime ministers in the UK …

Very soon (if my experience of how teh education system does things) schools will be doing so.

If done the way that some on here would like it done it will be a massive own goal and drive young boys in to the arms of those that are (quite rightly) disliked on here. (tate etc.)

I sort of get this. I have young girls and a few times I've heard mums of boys complaining that now there's a bit more effort to have strong female characters in things, there's no male characters for their boys to look up to.
I think that's absolutely ridiculous because I think it's still the case that like only 30% of characters in films and TV are female.

All the men in my life are crap. All cheaters, dad's that don't pull their weight, abusive, negligent ....

So no.

Not really.

About time men come down from their high horse. My workplace gives confidence coachings exclusively for women. Fuck this shit. Women once again being told they need to be different. Cry me a river about a man's bruised ego and actually having to reflect.

But how does that work, when men are not called out on their bad behaviour = continue bad behaviour - they are called out = somehow this causes the bad behaviour to continue?

No one is saying being male is bad, it’s just men hearing it that way when they are told their behaviour is bad.

Or 9.9/10 CEOs at their future place of work.

I think this is case where any effort to redress a long term imbalance is greeted with howls of anguish by those who've had most of the pie since the time humanity has been recorded.

They just want women to fix and organise everything for them. Moan about International women’s day but never do anything for international men’s day. Lack of male clubs, activities, meet ups, male loneliness, just flipping organise it then!! Oh no one does XYZ for men! We are organising our own shit, do your own.

I vaguely remember my brother mentioning this. But we still have all the old male characters and role models - superheroes, actors, athletes, cartoon characters etc. but now we have some more female ones too. Aside from Doctor Who, I’m not aware of any who have become female

Yes and look at the films like Stand By Me, The Goonies etc. There are no female equivalent films where girls get together, hang out and go on adventures. Any films with a majority young girl cast it’s all Mean Girls and bullying.

I totally agree. But I was surprised women I thought were on my wavelength (and have never had the pie) were buying into this view

All the men in our family are lovely. I raised my son to respect his sisters and his dad was an amazing role model. My son is now a 6ft beer drinking mountaineering strong alpha male who is not afraid to also be caring, vulnerable and a feminist. He takes responsibilty for his domestic life, his emotional intelligence and he and his gf are equal partners. He enjoys his life and has no angst about his masculinity or his values.

If men are confused or distressed about their place in a modern world where women have some power (note only ‘some’ not an equal amount) then they need to reflect on why. My heart doesn’t bleed. They’ve been at the top of the privilege tree (and still are) for all of human history. Time to budge up and realise that cooperation and empathy is the key to civilisation and progress. Not some dumb Andrew Tate or Taliban-esque vision of condemning half the population to a life of uneducated cattle who just breed and cook.

They landed a rocket on the moon and invented computers. They wage wars and devastation and make a billion dollar global industry out of kicking a ball into a net. They’ll be fine.

YANBU op.

I think this is part of the problem. I'm generalising here, but women tend to seek out groups of other women in real life if we are bored or lonely, we join hobby groups, pta's, book clubs, WI, church coffee mornings etc. When we moved to a new area a few years ago I went to loads of these things and now know loads of people in my community. There are very few men going to these groups. As a result we 'touch grass' more and in my opinion have a better sense of our own place in the world and sense of self for being around people who have come together through shared enthusiasm rather than shared opinion or world view.

For a lot of men community now exists in the internet, on a platform that wants to plug you into a echo chamber to keep you coming back, such that when they step out into real world they dont know how to connect with people and it exacerbates the loneliness problem as a vicious cycle.

I don't think it's a problem that women have a responsibility to fix but I do have sympathy that this is where we've ended up. I think the best way men can start to fix it is to put the time in to create more social groups in their communities and encourage other men and boys to go.

I care about everyone's issues. If everyone is happy and settled in themselves, they are more likely to be healthier. Which reduces the burden on the NHS and other public services. Meaning there is more to go around for those in need.

Yes, many men are shits but I care more about the greater good than I do about any grudges.

Women think about who will find the body and therefore use less violent methods. Sounds a little like you think women’s attempts are just attention seeking. You should unpack your misogyny

suicide is the biggest killer of young men
fact
I have 3 sons, I care very deeply about them