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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not become Mrs Celebrity Name?

299 replies

SummerFate · 08/01/2026 17:27

I’m getting married later this year and had always assumed I’d take my husband’s name. I’ve never been particularly attached to my maiden name (divorced parents) and I’d like to have the same surname as my kids, which my mother doesn’t have.

However, if I do do this, I’ll have the same name as a celebrity. It’s not an A lister where it would be remarked on all the time, and it will still be a fairly ordinary name. (Think someone like Kaye Adams for the level of fame and ordinariness of name.) But it’s someone well known enough that I’ll definitely get “Ooh, I didn’t recognise you! You look taller on the telly” type jokes that I can do without. So I figure it’s just easier to keep my maiden name.

However, my fiancé has taken exception to this. He’s taking it personally and says I’m being daft: he said he’d understand me not wanting to be called Helen Mirren or Nicole Kidman, but that I’ll still have an ordinary name and that this celeb may be forgotten in a few years anyway.

I do get what he means, but he’s not the one who’ll be asked “Ooh, like the actress?” every time he gives his full name. I’ve also pointed out that a lot of women don’t change their name regardless, so he could have been marrying someone who never had any intention of being Mrs Name.

I’ve said we could double-barrel any children if that’s what he’s worried about, but he’s still complaining. AIBU?

OP posts:
Fuckoffjanuary · 08/01/2026 21:18

I think in this day and age men should be taking womens surnames to stamp out this tradition of taking the mans name.

Cheese55 · 08/01/2026 21:21

It's an outdated patriarchal notion. I'd be worried what other misogynistic ideas your DP has which he will reveal once you are safely trapped by marriage to him

daysfilledwithdappledlight · 08/01/2026 21:23

FarmGirl78 · 08/01/2026 18:24

Please please do not double barrel your children's names. I've recently started work for the NHS and the number of people with double barrel names who we consistently can't find on the NHS spine due to Name-Name or Name Name or Name - Name discrepancies is ridiculous. If you don't want anything importany with your healthcare to me missed then I'd highly recommend you don't do it.

This is a really sad reason not to have a double barreled name that’s definitely not well known.

Makingsenseofitall · 08/01/2026 21:24

He can change his name to yours if he wants to. And the babies surely and obviously get your name?

marrriageontherocks · 08/01/2026 21:32

Do you already have children, and do they have his surname?

if not, keep YOUR name. . It belongs to you, it’s not on temporary loan from one of your parents. It’s your bloody name!
future kids can be double barrelled (that’s what I did). .
your husband can change his name, or keep it. In this day and age it really doesn’t matter.

Glitterbiscuits · 08/01/2026 21:52

My kids have double barrelled names and it has not caused any issues at all.
No idea why a previous poster has trouble with the NHS. It’s been fine for 25 years for us.

grrrlatrix · 08/01/2026 21:57

He must take your name, if he feels so strongly. For the record, I would also totally refuse to have a celebrity name.

MissSookieStackhouse · 08/01/2026 22:14

YANBU for wanting to keep your name after marriage, that’s fair enough. If the sole reason is that you don’t want the name as some D-list celebrity that seems a bit of a silly reason.

FWIW my son has the same name as someone very famous (obviously wasn’t when DS was born) and he gets the odd comment, but nothing much and it doesn’t bother him. My mum also had the same name as a famous TV presenter in the 70s and she actually got mistaken for her a few times as they looked similar, but she used to laugh about it. It’s just one of this things, not a big deal.

Sassylovesbooks · 08/01/2026 22:21

I'm Mel C! OK, my surname isn't the same as Mel's but it does begin with a C. No one has ever mentioned it! I think you're overthinking to be honest. Is this person that well known, that people of all ages would know who they are?! Let's face it, the 90s have gone, most youngsters wouldn't have a clue who Mel C is!! If you want to take your husband's surname, then just take it. If you don't, then don't but don't use the celebrity name as an excuse. The C in my name is my married surname, and my married name is a bit on the odd side, I have to spell it constantly but it didn't stop me from taking my husband's surname.

Tulcan · 08/01/2026 22:25

Sassylovesbooks · 08/01/2026 22:21

I'm Mel C! OK, my surname isn't the same as Mel's but it does begin with a C. No one has ever mentioned it! I think you're overthinking to be honest. Is this person that well known, that people of all ages would know who they are?! Let's face it, the 90s have gone, most youngsters wouldn't have a clue who Mel C is!! If you want to take your husband's surname, then just take it. If you don't, then don't but don't use the celebrity name as an excuse. The C in my name is my married surname, and my married name is a bit on the odd side, I have to spell it constantly but it didn't stop me from taking my husband's surname.

That is in no way the same.

Bebeandgang · 08/01/2026 22:46

There's no requirement or rush to change your name so you can think on it for as long as you like after the wedding. You might feel differently as time passes and it's easier to do it then than rush in under pressure from the wedding and need to live with the annoying name or go through the hassle of changing it back. I didn't change my name almost four years ago - didn't fancy it then and I've not come round to it yet but I wouldn't want to live with regret of making the wrong decision. I can honestly say it's made no difference to my life or marriage whatsoever. You need to live with the decision so it's one only you can make and your fiance should support you either way.

RamsaySnowsSausage · 08/01/2026 22:58

FarmGirl78 · 08/01/2026 18:24

Please please do not double barrel your children's names. I've recently started work for the NHS and the number of people with double barrel names who we consistently can't find on the NHS spine due to Name-Name or Name Name or Name - Name discrepancies is ridiculous. If you don't want anything importany with your healthcare to me missed then I'd highly recommend you don't do it.

This is a reason to update the NHS database, not to curtail giving children basic names. If a shitty database is causing confusion, missed appointments and other issues, then the money in being sued alone justifies updating the database provider. I do understand this is not simple, I work in this area, but a system that can't search and record a few options IS NOT fit for purpose and is incredibly basic and simple. Not acceptable.

LemaxObsessive · 08/01/2026 23:07

If it helps OP, I’ve never heard of Kaye Adams 🤷🏼‍♀️ Haven’t a clue who he/she is so there’s every chance most people will never have heard of your celebrity namesake if they’re on the same level of fame

LemaxObsessive · 08/01/2026 23:10

RamsaySnowsSausage · 08/01/2026 22:58

This is a reason to update the NHS database, not to curtail giving children basic names. If a shitty database is causing confusion, missed appointments and other issues, then the money in being sued alone justifies updating the database provider. I do understand this is not simple, I work in this area, but a system that can't search and record a few options IS NOT fit for purpose and is incredibly basic and simple. Not acceptable.

Like MN’s abhorrent search feature? 🤭

LoserWinner · 08/01/2026 23:13

Lovelynames123 · 08/01/2026 17:31

Ask him to change his to yours if it's not a big deal...he won't!

^^ this.

WirelessInternet · 08/01/2026 23:16

If your kids already have his name, what would be the point of getting him to change it to yours? You’d then have to change theirs anyway.

You’re really overthinking this. Do you really think you’re the only person in the world who would share a name with a D list celebrity?

SALaw · 08/01/2026 23:18

Change it several years after she’s forgotten then.

Mrsnothingthanks · 08/01/2026 23:18

I wouldn't marry a man who got the arse on unless I changed my last name to his - end of. Or expected me to change my title. Hard no to either.

CoastalCalm · 08/01/2026 23:20

Just double barrel ?

sprigatito · 08/01/2026 23:21

It doesn’t matter what your reasons are or whether he deems them valid or not. He shouldn’t be pressurising you to change your name, full stop. Is he usually a sexist ape, or is this new?

HisNotHes · 08/01/2026 23:22

If it’s really not an issue to change your name as he claims, then HE can change HIS name, can’t he? Honestly this would be a red flag for me.

KnickerlessParsons · 08/01/2026 23:23

I work with a Dawn French and a Venus Williams. I wouldn’t worry about it.

WonderingWanda · 08/01/2026 23:23

Well I had to Google who Kaye Adams was so I think you are probably overthinking it quite a bit if its someone not that famous and you are imagining it's going to draw so much attention. Or is it someone with a notorious reputation like Katie Price?

Mrsnothingthanks · 08/01/2026 23:24

Why on earth would anyone change their name to a celebrity, especially a very well known one?! Madness!

Neindasistnichtmeinename · 08/01/2026 23:29

FarmGirl78 · 08/01/2026 18:24

Please please do not double barrel your children's names. I've recently started work for the NHS and the number of people with double barrel names who we consistently can't find on the NHS spine due to Name-Name or Name Name or Name - Name discrepancies is ridiculous. If you don't want anything importany with your healthcare to me missed then I'd highly recommend you don't do it.

Well I think that’s on the NHS honestly! Ffs!