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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not become Mrs Celebrity Name?

299 replies

SummerFate · 08/01/2026 17:27

I’m getting married later this year and had always assumed I’d take my husband’s name. I’ve never been particularly attached to my maiden name (divorced parents) and I’d like to have the same surname as my kids, which my mother doesn’t have.

However, if I do do this, I’ll have the same name as a celebrity. It’s not an A lister where it would be remarked on all the time, and it will still be a fairly ordinary name. (Think someone like Kaye Adams for the level of fame and ordinariness of name.) But it’s someone well known enough that I’ll definitely get “Ooh, I didn’t recognise you! You look taller on the telly” type jokes that I can do without. So I figure it’s just easier to keep my maiden name.

However, my fiancé has taken exception to this. He’s taking it personally and says I’m being daft: he said he’d understand me not wanting to be called Helen Mirren or Nicole Kidman, but that I’ll still have an ordinary name and that this celeb may be forgotten in a few years anyway.

I do get what he means, but he’s not the one who’ll be asked “Ooh, like the actress?” every time he gives his full name. I’ve also pointed out that a lot of women don’t change their name regardless, so he could have been marrying someone who never had any intention of being Mrs Name.

I’ve said we could double-barrel any children if that’s what he’s worried about, but he’s still complaining. AIBU?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/01/2026 23:33

Bonkers voting. Of course YANBU

In these circumstances, why doesn’t he take your name?

ReetPetite99 · 08/01/2026 23:38

Kept my name and gave dc my name. I earned the right to choose after doing the pregnancy and birth bit. I also intended to be the main parent eg for school contact in emergencies so made more sense for dc to have same name as me. If your dh wants to share a name he can change his.

RamsaySnowsSausage · 08/01/2026 23:38

LemaxObsessive · 08/01/2026 23:10

Like MN’s abhorrent search feature? 🤭

Damn right!!!

Soontobesingles · 08/01/2026 23:39

Genuinely think Kaye Adams isn’t well enough known that you’d really get any comments. So if that’s an accurate comparison then I don’t see the issue with taking his name if you want to. Also don’t see the issue in keeping your own if you want to.

N0tjustAmum · 08/01/2026 23:41

I voted you are being unreasonable because I infact have a 'celebrity name' 🤣
Think Hollywood celebrity, if you're over the age of about 30, then you would know whom I share a name with 100%
HOWEVER I probably only get comments once or twice a month so its not really even an issue.

youalright · 08/01/2026 23:43

I know 3 people with celebrity names i think its quite common

Mrsnothingthanks · 08/01/2026 23:49

I think it's disappointing that in 2026 women still feel a pressure to change their name upon marriage.

FollowSpot · 08/01/2026 23:50

You can keep your own name for whatever reason you choose. Never mind your parents’ divorce, it’s your name, yours, once it is yours!

Likewise who says kids have to have the father’s name?

I would keep your name ( because that was my choice, without any sleb connection) and hyphenate your kids names

KabukiNoh · 08/01/2026 23:50

You are overreacting. I also share the name of someone slightly famous. Friends send me pictures when they see an amusing article or ad. Strangers occasionally comment or ask if I am them. It’s a famous name rather than face. No big deal.

AndStand · 08/01/2026 23:57

Who is Kaye Adams?!!

whynotwhatknot · 09/01/2026 00:03

is it princess consuela

Pistachiocake · 09/01/2026 00:06

A lot of people call men simps if they change their name, while I've never heard of a woman mocked for taking his name, or feel that if you're going for a wedding with all that traditional patriarchal stuff, you might as well change name. Even if you keep your maiden name, it's your dad's/grandad's etc, so it's still seen as 'male ownership' by some.
Also he might be thinking of that study which showed marriages tend to be more successful if the bride takes the groom's name. Not that this guarantees anything!
But I'd say do what you want and change tradition any way you like-some brides choose trouser suits, some men choose to dress in ways that might be traditionally seen as feminine, and why not? Do what makes you happy, as long as you're not hurting anyone.

Isthisfunyet · 09/01/2026 02:22

I don't blame you OP. My name is very similar to the heroine of a certain series of bad sex books. When they made them into movies, going out in public was legitimate torture as almost every single person who saw my name on my credit card at every shop and restaurant made some stupid comment. Many in front of my small children too and not meant for little ears. I was so unbelievably glad when the nonsense died down. FWIW I do like my name but not so much during that time period although I still get the odd comment every so often

PGmicstand · 09/01/2026 10:15

As others have said, I think your reason is a bit 'mountain out of a molehill', but equally, you don't have to take his name.
If he wants you to have the same surname then he could take yours, you could both double-barrell, or you could agree on an entirely different (new) one.

LiveToTell · 09/01/2026 10:18

Katie Price? 😂

LiveToTell · 09/01/2026 10:18

AndStand · 08/01/2026 23:57

Who is Kaye Adams?!!

Exactly! I think you’ll be fine OP.

SummerFate · 09/01/2026 11:19

LiveToTell · 09/01/2026 10:18

Exactly! I think you’ll be fine OP.

Can I just point out that she was purely an example. I’m not sharing my real potential married name! 😄

OP posts:
SummerFate · 09/01/2026 11:19

whynotwhatknot · 09/01/2026 00:03

is it princess consuela

If only 😝

OP posts:
PattyBladelll · 09/01/2026 11:27

Someone I know took her husbands name and is now called Katie Hopkins. I always wonder if she gets many comments about it

SummerFate · 09/01/2026 11:28

I'm Mel C! OK, my surname isn't the same as Mel's but it does begin with a C. No one has ever mentioned it!

No one has ever mentioned it because being called Melanie Clark or Melanie Clyde isn’t the same as being called Mel C! 😆 Unless you also only ever introduce yourself with your initial! I think people would comment if your name was Geri Haliwell or Emma Bunton!

If you want to take your husband's surname, then just take it. If you don't, then don't but don't use the celebrity name as an excuse.

But it isn’t an excuse - it’s the reason! I aid upfront that I’d always planned to use my married name! Didn’t you read?

OP posts:
Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 09/01/2026 11:28

Presumably double barelled works, as you're happy for kids to have it, so why can't you double barrell?

I would have double barrelled my own if it didn't make such a ridiculous and hilarious combination. As it is, I took his name.

Holidaytrees · 09/01/2026 11:29

DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira · 08/01/2026 17:31

I voted yabu as I think your reasoning is an overreaction but ultimately you're not obliged to take his name & the reasons can be whatever, that's your perogative.

Why doesn't he take your name?

This when we got married I think my husband said ‘I don’t expect you to take my name’ and I turned around and said ‘why would I even consider it my children are Cartwright or whatever and I am’ as I changed my name back to my maiden name after a horrific divorce and the children all changed their names by court order / deed poll. And he said / no I get that.

I thought that was that and then on our wedding day he gave me an envelope which contained a series of documents all drawn up by a solicitor that he was becoming Sam Cartwright and he just needed a copy of the wedding certificate and then it went back to be officially changing by deed poll etc and that was that really.
Since then we are Dr and Mr Cartwright or whatever.

My daughters have no intention of ever changing their names and children will be double barrelled or theirs. They would see it as the judgment of a man who insisted on it.

My daughter says if she goes through pregnancy the least he can agree to is her surname for the child.

JackJarvisEsq · 09/01/2026 11:32

While you’re under no obligation to change your name I find some people will pass remark at pretty much any name

unless you’re going to end up being Mrs Myra Hindley I wouldn’t worry too much

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 09/01/2026 11:32

SummerFate · 09/01/2026 11:19

Can I just point out that she was purely an example. I’m not sharing my real potential married name! 😄

Oh come on, I really wanna know. Just PM me and I'll tell you how bad it is. I promise I don't know you in RL. I don't know anyone that's getting married. Pleeeease?
I won't tell a soul!!

Aluna · 09/01/2026 11:40

Kaye Adams level is no issue. I’ve no idea who she is.

I have the same name as a minor celeb and in my entire life only one person has asked me if I were she (by email obv they couldn’t see me).

If I were called Meryl Streep or Timothy Chalamet it might be different,

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