Am I being over sensitive?

[Bulldog01]

Back in June 2025,we were invited to my Husband's niece wedding reception.We declined as we live 130 miles from the reception.We sent a decent card with best wishes & a Cheque for £50.00 dated 11/06/25.We would normally send much more,but as we were not attending the reception & her behavior in the past was verging on very rude to our daughter at a previous wedding.We did not feel this was being mean.Today 6/1/26 a cheque was cleared on our bank account from my husband's niece six months after it was sent! I was really quite annoyed by this! Husband thought I was being overly sensitive. Lucky we had some money in the account to pay the cheque.What are your thoughts?

Did they send a thank you acknowledgement?
Maybe they were just saving for when they could really use it? Honeymoon later on etc?
What upset you? That is wasnt cashed ASAP?
Xx

Why was it rude to cash the check you sent her as a gift? Do you have some unwritten rule that cheques must be banked within 1 week or did you expect her to use it as a coffee mat?

She probably mislaid it or maybe the card with the envelope itself had got wedged in with another one so she was only opening it for the first time.

It’s quite cheeky but I wouldn’t be offended. TBH I find cheques a total pita so I would potentially take ages to cash one too. 😬

They probably shoved it behind the clock on the mantelpiece and forgot all about it.

Cheques are a pain in the arse, especially as so many banks and post offices have closed down.

Why’s it cheeky? It’s not like they cashed it in twice

And yes OP you are being over sensitive

Yes, I am a bit annoyed as it was sent 6 months ago,cashed at the most expensive time of year! I don't remember a thanks either! I would love to get cheques,old fashioned, yes.Sending money in the post is a little risky?

What are your thoughts?

You sound extremely hard work and a bit strange if you’re upset over someone finally using a cheque that you GIFTED to them. Good grief 🤣🤣

You can obviously bank transfer though! Cheques are out dated and annoying. And you sent them a gift, it’s daft to be annoyed at them for accepting it

It would have been worse if they thought the sum too little to cash. The timing isn’t great and I hope they’ll send an acknowledgment at least.

Can't see anything wrong with it - a cheque is just a promise to pay, to instruct your bank to send funds to the payees bank. It's not timebound (though some banks might refuse them after 6 months) and presumably you'll have accounted for the money eventually not being there. I was given a cheque (by a company) last February. I eventually cashed it in August, as I'd put it in a pile of papers, and as I very rarely actually go into a bank, I didn't get round to it.

I'm glad you told us the precise date of the cheque though, OP. Mumsnet is a sucker for that extra 10%.

Bank transfer is much easier.

My lovely PIL sent me, DH and the kids individual cheques for Christmas and it's going to involve a 1.5 hour round trip to go and cash them.

I don't know anyone who uses cheques any more 🙈 she probably had it lying around and kept meaning to go. Its hard to get to the bank if working etc she should have thanked you for the gift though

There are so few banks now, cashing a cheque is a real pain, so they probably kept putting it off. If you send a cheque, monitor your account until it is cashed .

Thought that you were gong to say she added some zeros on. Agree, expensive time of year to cash. But it would take me months to get to a a bank. You were kind. And maybe a thank you is on the way. I received one the other week from a couple who married in April! Life gets busy. I didn't think twice. Definitely being over-sensitive but sounds like you have not the best relationship.

Cheques need to be cashed within 6 months of date of issue @InterestedDad37 . The bank can refuse to accept them if they are dated more than 6 months previously.

Yes, she might've walked round for months with it in her handbag and simply forgot.

The OP hasn't said that she didn't thank her - just that she doesn't remember.

Tbh yeah you are. If a cheque not going out immediately is going to stress you/push you over financially (no judgement) then either send cash in post recorded delivery or with a relative that is going or buy a gift. Cheques are ludicrously outdated and just difficult when there's so many more convenient modern ways of doing things

Did you send the cheque in both names/her name/his name? It took me so long to cash a cheque from our wedding as I didn’t change my name and the cheque was written out to Mr and Mrs (his surname). I had to open a new bank account as ours didn’t recognise it it (they said I’d have to change my name which I wasn’t going to do for for sake of £50), and it was such a hassle. I wasn’t going to bother but it was a family friend and felt rude if I didn’t accept the gift.

Thanks, yes I edited my post to reflect that (quickly looked it up) - we probably cross-posted. Thanks anyway 👍

@InterestedDad37 I think cheques can become out of date. Banks don’t accept them older than 6 months in many cases so this is why they cashed it. They dodged a bullet and were lucky you didn’t go! You have an angel for a daughter, get easily offended and send cheques!

Exactly this. You're being weird.

Cheques can be paid in using banking apps now, much more convenient than trekking to the bank on the odd occasion you get one.

Not everyone uses the apps