Am I being over sensitive?

[Bulldog01]

Back in June 2025,we were invited to my Husband's niece wedding reception.We declined as we live 130 miles from the reception.We sent a decent card with best wishes & a Cheque for £50.00 dated 11/06/25.We would normally send much more,but as we were not attending the reception & her behavior in the past was verging on very rude to our daughter at a previous wedding.We did not feel this was being mean.Today 6/1/26 a cheque was cleared on our bank account from my husband's niece six months after it was sent! I was really quite annoyed by this! Husband thought I was being overly sensitive. Lucky we had some money in the account to pay the cheque.What are your thoughts?

Can you not scan them into your phone in online banking?

I bank with several banks and got given a cheque for Christmas. Nationwide don't do this on their app so that ruled out that account. I then tried HSBC, it wouldn't recognise the cheque. Finally tried NatWest and that did work.
If people only have one account and it happens to be nationwide then they can only pay it in at a branch. And also as I found, not all bank apps seem to recognise the cheque so again that might rule out paying it in that way.

Before anyone else says it AGAIN:
Not always possible to do it via an app

As has been said more than once, no.

Agree it may have been to do with the name on the cheque. I never changed my name so a cheque we got addressed to Mr and Mrs ‘Churchouse’ was never cashed.

"If I'm being honest, I did not think she would cash the cheque"

That's weird!
If you send a cheque you have to expect people to cash it!

Wait, Battersea Dogs Home send you cheques? Why??

You are being over sensitive and frankly ridiculous.

If money is so tight for you (which it clearly appears to be if a £50 cheque coming out is going to cause problems), how come you hadn't checked your bank statements and noticed that the cheque hadn't already been cashed?

Whats the issue? Cheques can be banked within 6 months and you can see if and when it has left your account - what an odd thing to be offended about?! If you wanted the money to clear straight away you could have asked for bank details and just sent a transfer. Gosh some people really do look for things to get the hump about!

My mum always gives cheques, Lloyds banking app enables me to scan onto my phone so no bank required

Sorry quoted wrong person

With my banking app you can cash in cheques on that. NO need to take it to bank/po.

It has been pointed out many, many times on this thread that you can't do this with all banking apps. Nationwide don't offer this.

Actually so few people, especially younger people, use cheques now, and because there are so few bank branches, this is not uncommon, unfortunately. People leave cheques to pay in at a later date then forget about them.

I think she knew it wasn’t cashed and was hoping it never would be, so they just made an empty gesture.

This is what I was going to say! You know you’ve written a cheque so you keep that amount in your account until it’s gone.
Cheques are a PITA for both parties - for the recipient because there are so few branches about, and the giver because they do have to monitor their account - but it’s the giver’s choice to send one!

The reference to “the most expensive time of year” is really clutching at straws trying to be offended.

She should obviously say thank you though.

I don’t think £50 is a bad amount so no need to bring up the business with the rude comment - either give a gift if you want to or don’t! Hopefully the intended slight in giving less than you would usually was lost on her as that would be a very rude way to express your feelings about that.

I despair sometimes. It’s quite cheeky to cash a cheque?

I'm curious why you thought she wouldnt cash it?

Who supplies you with chequebooks, Martin Chuzzlewit?

Missing the point, but I can use my banking app to pay a cheque in

It's perfectly fine.
You should have known that the cheque was outstanding when you did your monthly bank reconciliations.

And I can't because Nationwide don't offer this.

i haven't had a cheque book for more years than I can remember, just do bank transfers on my banking app