Dd17 holiday been turned down from work

[AmusedLemonFatball]

I know I am being unreasonable but I’m hormonal and emotional.

dd is 18 soon, shes my eldest of three.

she has requested our usual dates off for work for our family holidays and all have been rejected apart from one that is for when she is going away with a friend and their family.

im really upset, I can’t imagine going on every holiday without her this year. It’s not big holidays, just to Cornwall etc but the thought makes me feel sick. There’s no chance of her getting any time off in the summer holidays and it has to work around school holidays for my other dc.

On the other hand it’s not fair that the other two don’t get a holiday?

I have autism so the unexpected change has really thrown me off :(

I never said anything about him not working hard and it is admirable that he has a part time job. But my comment stands if he has a job he has made a commitment to the business, that's how a job works.
Genarally people book holidays in advance so it's reasonable for anyone who is working to check for time off. If you want to encourage him just to slack the job off that is obviously your perogative.

So you think that nobody should ever quit a job once they’ve got one? Or is it fine if it’s for reasons you personally agree with?

My advice (with two in their early twenties and a nineteen year old) is to suggest that you try to reframe your feelings about this. Children grow up and when they reach adulthood that’s a massive achievement for you and them. You’ve succeeded in raising a child who is now holding down a proper job. That is wonderful. And they presumably enjoy adequately good health and can fully participate in life. How fortunate your family is that your eldest has reached this stage. We tend to take health and growth for granted- not long ago even in our society this was not a realistic expectation for all our children and it still isn’t for many across the world and even in our own society many people would be incredibly grateful to have their child at this stage in life. Of course it is sad for us as parents to say goodbye to elements of childhood but my view and experience is that we must consciously balance this against pride and gratitude.

Our 29 year old son likes to come with us, he also goes on holiday with his long term gf. She's not keen on our activity holidays

With all due respect, did you not find it strange that the only holiday request approved is for when she’s away with her friend?

I’d probably take the hint if it was my DC.

It's the only holiday request that wasn't for the school holidays.

We are all different,there was no need to be so blunt!

Yeah and they they can manage you out using the sickness policy

yes it can go to tribunal but honestly a lot of firms will take the hit to get rid of a twat of an employee

Storm on a teacup.

And someone would be losing what exactly? 😂 a big payout from unfair dismissal, paid time off, and being able to get a new job under the poor me being unfairly dismissed? 😂

girl honestly just get with the programme you’re not going to change my thoughts.

Are you really a grown adult?

Most employers have in their contracts of employment that persistent sickness will be managed through the company disciplinary and/or capability procedures.

Plus, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. You’d be managed out, and if done by someone with a clue you’d be taking that “unfair dismissal” claim directly to the dole queue.

I don’t believe you’re employed by anyone who’s not an absolute idiot, or you wouldn’t last 5mins with that attitude to work.

I think you may be right there, though of course we will never know. If the DD knows of her mother's neurodiversity and if the case, liking of routine, then being able to say someone else is why she cannot go on a family holiday may be chosen.

I would love to see that poster’s employment history. But she never lasts anywhere long. I don’t think many employers are crying out for immature staff.

Well I’ve managed almost 20 years of my working life and yet to defer from my beliefs so… cry about it I guess?

I’d be a bit sad about it too OP. I know lots of 18 year old don’t want to holy day with their parents but ours still like to come, I always give them the choice but they always choose to. They’re 18 and 21.

is she sad about it or does she seem ok? She’s an adult at the end of the day and if she’s ok about it then I guess you just take the younger ones and don’t stress but if she’s upset then is there any chance she could swap leave with someone?

So you’re around 38 years old (assuming you’re classing 18 as working age) and still wholeheartedly believe that you’re in charge of your employer, when you’re evidently not, and the best thing to do is take a continuous lend.

Unemployable by anyone sensible. Any manager with the least bit experience and clue would weasel you out of the business with absolutely no evidence of recourse for unfair dismissal.

”Cry about it” is also the most infantile thing I’ve read here in a long time. The rest of us have moved beyond our teenage years, maybe try it.

No, people like you who present as liabilities in the workplace aren't going to change their minds. I hope at some stage you get some robust performance management and your flaky approach to employment gets the consequences it deserves.