DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

I had good results from my second round of roaccutane, although it wasn’t easy to get through the NHS, about 18 months I think of trying everything else the GPs could think of (even if I’d already tried it). I remember the conversations around depression - always felt a bit daft that feeling low largely because I had acne might prevent me from having the medication that would help with the acne! I think talking about it to the dermatologist in that way helped.
It wasn’t a magic cure though, I’m still prone to acne now but I’ve discovered tretinoin really helps me keep it under control. Might be worth asking about that too.

Omg some of the post here's are mad, how are you all encountering such horrible people?

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but was the lady in the restaurant another nationality?

I remember years ago working abroad, I had been sent over in a senior role to sort out an underperforming team of three women. Every bloody morning when I'd arrive in my weight and appearance would be assessed. "Oh! These clothes are good. They make you look slim. You should wear these more often... What did you have for breakfast. Good that won't make you gain weight"

My colleague from home arrived over. She had been there the years before. "Oh no! What happened? You have gained so much weight."

Absolutely mad.

Back home I had cancer and was wearing a variety of long blonde wigs some years ago. We went to a local restaurant regularly. Finally I decide to ditch the wigs and reveal my cropped dark hair. They owner shrieked in horror when she saw me "why did you cut your hair. Why???" We actually couldn't stop laughing. It would have been terrible if I had cut it and regretted it.

Must have been very awkward, you and the bairn sitting in complete silence for 3 years 😂 I’m sorry the driver was so insensitive. Seriously, do some people just not engage their brain before opening their mouths?

Im surprised he is autistic he is so friendly....like autistic people arnt friendly? What?

God never gives you more than you can cope with.....yes he fucking does endlessly and relentlessly

Dumb shit people say?
Oh, " I'm a nice person".
I start avoiding these bastards, who are anything but nice.

I can imagine me saying that😊

Couple of times I've had to stop myself & let my brain catch up with the logic first.

I was in hospital to be induced. Midwife says oh how lovely, you're having twins. I pointed out that if she'd read my notes she'd have known that one had a lethal heart condition and would not survive (she lived just 24 hours). Was 30 years ago now but I still remember it very clearly. I've been through enough to put up with crap from people. I often look tired as I'm pale and if people tell me so, I just ask if they are always that rude.

My stepdad when he found out I was having my 3rd boy..",when will you know if he's autistic?" (My 2 older sons are)
Another time.."let's hope he's not autistic!". When he said that I was tempted to tell him to try saying that to my 6ft4 autistic son who wouldn't appreciate it one bit

I have an autistic son, I get some absolute pearlers on a daily basis 😂

”I’m so sorry” it’s autism babe not a flesh eating disease.
The classic “he doesn’t look autistic”
“He’ll grow out of it I’m sure” well if you’re sure… 😂
”Oh I don’t know how you do it I could never.” Well I do it cause I love my son but either way I don’t suppose I’d have much choice either way.

People just have no brain 😂

Are we talking about dumb shit, or nasty shit? Because @OneDearFawn what that woman said was nasty. 'You look better with make up on' is a mean thing to say. As is 'you look better without make up' to someone who usually wears it and is seen one time without it.

I have had quite a number of people say cunty things to me over the years/decades. One example is a man (a colleague of DH) saying 'still got that big belly then, I thought you'd had the baby!' 😆 13 DAYS after I had had my first child. 13 fucking days. I had been in hospital for 10 days after having a c-section, and had hardly moved for 5-6 days because of the c-section. My DH said 'she had the baby less than 2 weeks ago dickhead!' The bloke just laughed. I was annoyed, but OK actually, as I was grateful I wasn't married to him.

Then I have had comments from rude and ignorant people about my choice of husband, my car, my house, my weight, too many to mention. Whilst lots of people are perfectly nice, sadly some people are rude and opinonated twats, who think the earth would fall of its axis if they didn't spout their rancid opinions and views. They just assume everyone needs to hear the shit they spout, because they're sooooo fucking important! 🙄

I don't know why some people are like this. The 'I tell it like it is' brigade. No mate, you're just an arrogant twat who nobody likes.

My mil insisted on attending a meeting with my son's senco and it became obvious she was trying to blame me letting him on the computer too much (senco put her in her place!)

Someone congratulated me on my pregnancy at work. I wasn't pregnant.

That's shocking. What pm earth is wrong with these people?

I was diagnosed as type 2 diabetic a few years ago and was talking about it to someone at work who said “ oh you don’t look diabetic” 🤦‍♀️

"Your house always makes me feel better about the state of my house" 😆

I also remember going to the doctor 15 with a sore throat and coming out with a prescription for "that acne on your forehead". One spot! He was really into dermatology though and I don't think he could help it.

I actually crumpled into myself with the awkwardness and awfulness of this 🫣

None of us wear make up to look worse? I think you're being over sensitive.

@AquaForce · Today 07:21

My friend was with her son in his buggy. A woman told her not to worry, it had taken her a long time to lose the baby weight as well.

That's bad enough but what's worse is, he's adopted. That lead to a very awkward question where she asked me if she was fat 😳

Cheeky fucking cow. (The woman who offered her unwanted obnoxious and rude opinion, not your friend!) I mean, seriously, who do some people think they are?!

We're childfree after TTC for 8 years unsuccessfully and a relative who's aware of the situation told me she knows what it's like because it took her 4 months to conceive her first child when she was 20. She then said we're lucky in a way because she regrets having children anyway despite going on to have 5 of them.

Some of the most insensitive/rude/unpleasant things I've ever hear people say were at parent and baby groups when my DC were small. If was being generous I might think perhaps it was the exhaustion of being a new parent making people forget to think before they speak. A few examples:

• Mum1 had a boy and was pregnant with her second child. Mum2 asked if she was hoping for a girl this time. Mum 1 replied 'We're not bothered. As long as it's not ginger, ha ha.' Said whilst sitting with me (a red head) and another mother with a baby with red hair. Mum1 then asked the mum of the red haired baby 'was it obvious as soon as he was born'.
• A few parents were discussing schools and local areas to live. Mum3 lived on a small relatively new housing estate that seemed to be considered a desirable choice. She commented 'Yes, we've been there for 10 years and never had a problem but some gays have moved in next door so we think we'll have to move- I mean it's not right round children is it.' A horrible comment at the best of times but she seemed oblivious to the fact that two of the mum's in the room were a couple.
• One mum came along with a baby who had spent many weeks in hospital a birth and had numerous medical procedures. Mum 4 commented 'You're lucky though, you could go home and have a good sleep'

Told my husbands nana that we were pregnant and before she even said congratulations she said “oh I know your cousin and his wife will be so disappointed as they’ve been TTC” They fell pregnant about 3/4 months after we did and we found out they’d not been TTC for too long when we fell on 🙄🙄

I posted this on the wrong thread, so I'll post it again.

I have no family other than my elderly parents (M83, F89). I bought a few rolls of Christmas paper in the sales. I said I might go back and get a couple more.

My Dad said 'Why? You won't be wrapping any presents in a few years when you're on your own''

Thanks.

I'm painfully aware of that.

I always have been.

I think we have the same neighbour 😅

My dentist once said "Oh don't you have a high roof to your mouth". Like, how would I know? It's the only mouth I have ever had, I don't know what other people's mouths feel like.

You’d be really beautiful if it wasn’t for your teeth!😩

My teeth aren’t straight but they’re not that bad 😒 I regret not getting braces when younger but I was scared of being even more bullied (as did happen in the 70s).