To think, actually, hard work doesn’t pay off?

[AkaBaka]

I have had a typical millennial experience. Raised by a single mother in a council house and wanted better, so worked hard at school, went to university, graduated into a recession, built up a career, and bought a house. Am now scraping by in a similar sized house to my childhood home, raising my kids in a similar way as my mother did in terms of hobbies and lifestyle.

I have stepchildren who, much as I love them and they have many wonderful qualities, are lazy and unmotivated with little drive. I am forever telling them that hard work pays off.

But does it? For their generation, especially for non-academic kids like them, there seems little point in striving. Now I have kids of my own, I’m seeing the benefit of working fewer hours with less stress over a “successful career” that doesn’t even give me a very comfortable lifestyle.

AIBU to think hard work doesn’t pay off?

It does for some, not for others. I have always worked hard because that’s how I was raised. I have very little patience for those who can’t be bothered. I’m able minded and able bodied, and I have responsibilities to others.

I’m genuinely surprised that what you describe is a ”typical millennial experience”.

Of course some hard work pays off. It just depends what the work is and combined it with the right choices to go alongside it.

Not always no. It depends on what you are working hard at. Nurses work very hard, they have to get a degree to qualify and the associated loans and fees. But they aren’t paid as well as they should be. I could write a list of jobs that require a degree and hard work but don’t pay a particularly high salary.

Although I do think hard work is still worthwhile, I think for your generation it will pay off less than for your parents generation.

Post-war we had a long boom, people were able to take advantage of a good balance between capitalism and socialism- unionised jobs, free and improving education and healthcare, but also a growing economy. Even under Thatcher, if you weren't in an unemployment blackspot, things definitely improved for most people.

Thanks to a drift towards rentier rather than productive capitalism (people living off unearned income, landlordism etc.) and high asset (house) prices for your generation and future generations hard work can only do so much and inherited or other family wealth looms a lot larger in people's life chances.

That's my view anyway, I'll let the sea of other posters come on to tell you about how you get £70k a year in benefits- it's dead easy apparently, so I'm sure your step kids will be fine.

It does pay but luck, family financial support and inheritance play a huge part.

Depends on the definition of hard work. A lot of jobs in society that require a lot of hard work (physically for example) are the least well paid.

I do agree though, as someone with a master's degree, my life has worked out that I am in a minimum wage role which requires no qualifications. I do wish I had done something more practical and looked into jobs in the area I live in more carefully before doing a degree that isn't really useful.

In this day and age, YANBU. It’s not like back in the day. These days you can work 24/7 and still be barely able to afford the basics, I’m working class and pretty much everyone I know gets some form of UC whether they work full time or not because FT work is no longer enough to be able to afford life. And the ones who don’t get top ups have nice lifestyles in terms of stuff, holidays etc but are manic, constantly juggling jobs and kids, constantly exhausted and stressed. It sucks 🤷‍♀️

For the OPs parents generation, hard work paid off for most people though- living standards steadily improved for the majority.

Having hard work pay off only in a few 'elite' occupations or for 10% of the population isn't a great place to be as a country. And given that there are regularly people on here moaning that they can't live on £250k in London and it isn't giving them the lifestyle they anticipated, perhaps hard work isn't even paying off for those at the top either.

Damn, quoted the wrong poster. Sorry!

I read this yesterday, which I thought was interesting and links in with the point I think you are trying to make about the younger generation:
www.theguardian.com/education/2026/jan/03/uk-university-degree-no-longer-passport-to-social-mobility-says-kings-vice-chancellor

Yes, I read that this morning.

For SC, who aren’t academic, I don’t think there’s any point in them pushing themselves to get to university, because it won’t really pay off. So I’m a bit stumped, as “hard work pays off” is basically the motto I’ve always lived by.

I agree. I did everything “right” by going to uni, but this means I now live in a HCOL area away from family support. In a material way, considering disposable income, I might have been better off staying in my hometown and getting a local job.

Both of SC’s parents have benefited from inherited wealth and family support. But it’s highly unlikely that SC will, because the money is running out.

My dh and I are millennial "winners" (this isnt a brag)
Objectively we are the tip of the iceberg above the water. The ones who uni "worked" for.

We got the grades, went to good unis, ate shit in grad job and worked until 9pm throughout our 20s.
Both make over 100k now and have a very marginally nicer house than we grew up in.

We are top 2/5% earners according to those quizzes in the times.

We are totally diseffected. The social contract in this country is totally broken.

I am scared for my children's futures and that they will find themselves on the wrong side of the wealth gap) and I am fairly confident I wont be a grandparent.

It says something when this country is fucked even for the "winners"

Social mobility is very low now due to generational wealth (which we dont have).

I read a book by Lionel schriver called the mandibles. It's a dystopian future that tracks a family as the exonomy collapses.... some of it is alarming close to our current reality to the point one the gov fiscal policies in the book was actually being floated by Labour ahead of the last budget.

Sounds like you’ve done well - to have a career, house, your own kids and step-kids - that’s a lot of outgoings so unless it’s a very lucrative career then you’re going to be scraping by in tough economic times, but you’d be worse off if you hadn’t worked hard and were renting and too skint to start a family. Hard work doesn’t necessarily pay off with riches but it’s given you and your family some security and options.

I feel like this fairly often. Logically I know I earn more and have a mortgage but I look at the people who left school and got local jobs and I feel like I might as well have not bothered.

They're all living in a place where I can't afford a flat, never mind a family home. They're close to so much stuff I enjoy doing at weekends (but have to travel to). I'm stressed, tired and overweight.

As many others have sad, the rght choices and hard work goes hand in hand

Theres a saying something like there is no fool like a busy fool.
Which is harsh but i dont think working hard necessarily equates to success or financial security.
Many people work really hard juggling caring responsibilities and 2-3 part time jobs.
They arent earning well and have little free time.
I did this myself for a while.
I noticed there was a professionally qualified person in one if my jobs that earnt twice as i did for less hours so professional training and qualifications defintely help increase earning potential.
ie carer v nurse or TA v teacher.
Trades also earn well.
So its picking the right thing to be busy at and being more strategic.
Having said that my DC have picked more vocational jobs that arent well paid considering training and responsibility!
The wealthiest seem to do very little to earn their wealth, ie royalty, upper class inherited wealth with assets that earn them an income whilst they do very little and probably avoid tax to pay as little tax as possible.
Education and training used to be a way out of poverty and it definitely helps but isnt a guarantee.

Around 10% of the population had a degree in my generation, Gen X, it’s risen to I think something like 30%. The actual qualification overall has been devalued because it’s just not special anymore. I worked in HE for close to 30 years and some of us saw this coming decades ago. It was great for my sector from when Blair pushed this till around 2015. It’s being cut to the bone now. My mate without a degree was on the top band for admin staff at a leading University. By the time she retired a couple of years ago even a junior admin role needed a degree, she said ‘ I couldn’t employ myself now’.

As usual social engineering has unintended consequences. I know cost of living and house prices is the main contributory factor but this is an issue becuse expectations were unrealistic. There was never going to suddenly be thousands more graduate level jobs.

Hard work absolutely does pay off, but you have to be savvy. By the sounds of it, you have a home you were able to buy quite young (I was 40 when I bought my first house!). I’m Gen X so you are considerably younger than me, so must have done quite well to be able to buy as a single parent.

But it also sounds like you’ve had a relationship breakdown and are now on a 2nd long term relationship (with stepchildren). These things take a hit on your life. Financial security is more than just hard work. I got cancer and had to give up my 20 year quite prestigious career. Nothing to do with hard work. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But the hard work I put in to build a career and professional contacts and a good income sure has made life a lot easier even when shit hit the fan for me.

But I also did smart things like marrying someone very lovely who is equally ambitious and financially secure, having children with a large age gap so I wasn’t buried under childcare costs and didn’t have a career break, moved away to a more affordable area, made sensible spending decisions.

Contrary to what you say, I think there are a lot of opportunities out there for ‘non-academic’ kids - but the caveat is they can’t be lazy! Dh went to uni but works in a trade. He didn’t need the degree to do what he does, though obviously he learned a lot from uni about running a business. He started a business in our garden shed (of a rented house because we couldn’t afford to buy) and about £1500 savings. 12 years later, that business turns over just shy of £100k a month. It truly was hard work and persistence that got him there. It’s not just getting out of bed and turning up to work though. That will keep you a job, but it won’t get you ahead.

From what Ive seen hard work doesnt pay off these days. Ill use my husband as an example - he worked hard all his life, never took time off sick, rarely even took all his holiday allowance. Honest as the day is long, would help anyone if he could, conscientious and caring. All it got him was being taken advantage of time and time again before he died young of a heart attack! We lived carefully, money was always tight and in the end I didnt even have enough money to pay for his funeral (my parents helped).

Why do you see this as hard work not paying off? Didn’t your mother work hard for her lifestyle too?

I left school into a recession, worked and studied and waited to get on the property ladder. No uni, no parental help. Carried on working hard through marriage and single parenthood and now have a smaller house than my parents (mum didn’t work) but a much better pension. I feel I live the life of Riley.

DC work hard and own their homes (without the benefit of uni or much help from me). I consider hard work has paid off for us all, and that starts at primary school.

My parents would have had a much more fulfilling life if they’d applied themselves a bit more.

Aside from a period of time as a SAHM to multiple little children, I have worked from 16 alongside a degree/masters etc. My DH and I were ‘top set’ and worked very hard, albeit in ‘caring professions’ not highly paid. We are significantly worse off than either sets of parents despite both working FT (our mums both worked very part time).
I resonate with your sense of ‘the typical millennial experience’. Unless you were un/fortunate to inherit fairly young or had generous parents then you’re working twice as hard for what we had as kids. I’m not sure what is to be gained.

What does working hard even mean, im working 3 part time jobs after getting made redundant after 26 years "hard work".

You're not being unreasonable at all. My husband and I (both retired now) often have this conversation after working hard all our lives - he has a degree and Masters, I have a degree from the OU.

My husband has always worked in the public sector, and has been incredibly hardworking and conscientious. I've always worked hard too, but different career projectory. A run of the mill personal assistant/secretary type job in banking (accompanied by some bar work in my spare time) enabled me to buy my own house in the 70's. My second career in teaching was incredibly hard work but great fun too. Regarding pensions, accompanied by profit sharing - my bank pension (completely non contributary) and dividend income in retirement far surpasses my teaching pension. So that non degree job proved far more lucrative for me. But of course this was in the 'old days'!.

My husband has an average pension from his public sector employment so is ok financially too. But all this has been accumulated over our working lives. The working lives of our children are so different.

Our son in law now earns virtually double what my husband ever earned, but whereas we have a nice four bedroomed detached house, they're squeezed into a three bed semi for which I gave them their deposit. He started from a very low salary, so has done incredibly well and needless to say, has worked 'hard' to get to where he is and we're very proud of him! They still have nowhere near the standard of living we had and still have. For now, our daughter has chosen to come out of the workplace to raise her two little children - she plans to go back to work when the youngest goes to pre-school. So while it's obviously a choice they have made, in my opinion for totally the right reasons, things are very tough financially.

I never thought I'd live to say the Labour government were the ones breaking the social contract, but their ill-considered increases in taxation make it incredibly difficult for young working people. I don't know the answer - everything was bad under the Tories, but certainly not improved by this Labour government. We support our kids all we can, but now have to consider our own needs in case of needing support at home/care fees, etc. Depressing scenario really, but I would conclude any work definitely gives you self-esteem, but just not sure about the benefits of 'hard work' any more.