Page 8 | To not feel the slightest bit guilty

IainWithTwoEyes · 2026-01-05T08:58:04+00:00

about being back in bed all cosy, now that ds is away back to school in his taxi? The house is lovely and quiet, and im under the duvet eating a box of heros. Staying here until he arrives home at 3.30 😃

x2boys · 05/01/2026 19:50

bittertwisted · 05/01/2026 19:23

I agree tbh
i have a disabled child who went to school in a taxi because I had 2 other children I had to get to school, and a job
i hated it, would have done anything to take him myself
he started doing a club on a Friday so I got one chance to go and pick him up from school, highlight of my week
taxi transport is approximately £140 a day per child just so people know

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Well that will vary by journey and area ,my son has always travelled to school by mini.bus ,with about 6 or 7 other children, the taxi companies bid for the contract yearly and the LA go for the cheapest bid ,and there is one passenger assistant for one mini bus who I doubt is paid much more than minimum wage.

x2boys · 05/01/2026 19:58

bittertwisted · 05/01/2026 19:23

I agree tbh
i have a disabled child who went to school in a taxi because I had 2 other children I had to get to school, and a job
i hated it, would have done anything to take him myself
he started doing a club on a Friday so I got one chance to go and pick him up from school, highlight of my week
taxi transport is approximately £140 a day per child just so people know

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Also did your child go to a special school ?,becsuse believe me it would be absolute chaos if parents had to drop the children off every morning aa has been explained a couple of times
It's like a milliary operation getting 200 + children with significant learning disabilities off the mini buses and safely into school ,they really dont need parents turning up in dribs and drabs it would be highly disruptive to both staff and children.

juldan · 05/01/2026 20:54

wishingonastar101 · 05/01/2026 14:40

its 24/7 for working parents with non disabled children too.

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@wishingonastar101
IT IS NOT THE SAME! I do not have a disabled child, but when my children were young I did an occasional work as carer for a disabled child of a friend. The child was the same age as one of mine, but the looking after, making sure they were safe and happy, was so much harder than looking after my own. They were mobile and quite active so I didn’t have the physical difficulties of carrying/ hoisting, but it was still very hard as they were totally reliant on me. Due to the disability they didn’t have the skills, which I took for granted with my own children, like toileting, getting a drink or snack, or even being able to play independently for a short while. On top of that was keeping an eye on medical side of things in case the child became unwell and I needed to administer medication. It was very rewarding job and the child was lovely, but it was extremely stressful and demanding. Imagine doing this 24/7 with no respite, being the person who can never “switch of”, having added responsibility for all the medications, appointments and fighting the broken system so that they receive suitable educational provision.

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 21:16

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grumpygrape · 05/01/2026 21:17

OP, my situation isn’t the same as yours but I can understand. My husband has Alzheimer’s so I am with him 24/7 and always on high alert for mental problems, apart from all the dealing with multiple physical health issues.

I envy you, but do not begrudge you, a duvet day. However, if I had one I think I’d go for Lindor. 🤗

x2boys · 05/01/2026 21:27

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Calling out ?
No you are just being pretty nasty
Why shouldn't she tske her child away in April ,?
A quieter time of the year might suit him better due to his disability, if he goes to a special school ,the ime, they are usually fairly laid back about taking a child out in term time
As for your comment about not having a " special child " words fail me.

Scoose · 05/01/2026 21:44

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RunsABit · 05/01/2026 21:54

x2boys · 05/01/2026 21:27

Calling out ?
No you are just being pretty nasty
Why shouldn't she tske her child away in April ,?
A quieter time of the year might suit him better due to his disability, if he goes to a special school ,the ime, they are usually fairly laid back about taking a child out in term time
As for your comment about not having a " special child " words fail me.

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But that's the point - all of our children are special to us. Just as all of our children's health, education, welfare, mental wellbeing and safety is funded by 'us'. Why should parents of children without disabilities be penalised in taking their children on holiday during term-time when others are not? Just as why should many parents have to pay for school transport when others don't? And to get back to the original point, why should some parents feel it acceptable, even praiseworthy, to spend the day in bed eating chocolate when others not only work, parent and - shocker - EXERCISE to be physically and mentally fit parents - only to be relegated to the 'yeah, but your kid's not as special as mine' bleat.
As I said previously, I sympathise with parents of children with additional needs, but there are some on here who are making it increasingly hard to do so.
ALL children matter, to consider yours to be more so is Orwellian in the extreme.

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 05/01/2026 21:55

Wow, the vile being spouted here is.. well vile!
Enjoy your day in bed. I spend most off the week in bed !!!

x2boys · 05/01/2026 21:58

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 21:54

But that's the point - all of our children are special to us. Just as all of our children's health, education, welfare, mental wellbeing and safety is funded by 'us'. Why should parents of children without disabilities be penalised in taking their children on holiday during term-time when others are not? Just as why should many parents have to pay for school transport when others don't? And to get back to the original point, why should some parents feel it acceptable, even praiseworthy, to spend the day in bed eating chocolate when others not only work, parent and - shocker - EXERCISE to be physically and mentally fit parents - only to be relegated to the 'yeah, but your kid's not as special as mine' bleat.
As I said previously, I sympathise with parents of children with additional needs, but there are some on here who are making it increasingly hard to do so.
ALL children matter, to consider yours to be more so is Orwellian in the extreme.

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Its called reasonable adjustments
Disabled children are extremely disadvantaged compared to typical children and I have one of each

Being jealous becsuse they get transport to schools ,that can meet their makes you look down right nasty snd extremely petty

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 22:11

x2boys · 05/01/2026 21:58

Its called reasonable adjustments
Disabled children are extremely disadvantaged compared to typical children and I have one of each

Being jealous becsuse they get transport to schools ,that can meet their makes you look down right nasty snd extremely petty

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So would you agree this should be a universal offer? There are many, many disadvantaged people, children and families that don't meet the disability criteria. Free transport for all school and college-aged people, equal holiday packages year-round so those that previously took advantage of 'off-peak' now are accumulated into the £000s a week, subsidised heating, care and respite provision, activity and post-19 education- is that something you would be willing to sacrifice your carer benefits for?

x2boys · 05/01/2026 22:32

Im not sure what your argument is but clearly you don't like disabled people having anything that makes their lives just a little easier abd evens things up a tiny bit
Pp was right your a disgrace.

BellesAndGraces · 05/01/2026 22:36

So foul it’s laughable!

RudolphTheReindeer · 05/01/2026 22:52

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 21:54

But that's the point - all of our children are special to us. Just as all of our children's health, education, welfare, mental wellbeing and safety is funded by 'us'. Why should parents of children without disabilities be penalised in taking their children on holiday during term-time when others are not? Just as why should many parents have to pay for school transport when others don't? And to get back to the original point, why should some parents feel it acceptable, even praiseworthy, to spend the day in bed eating chocolate when others not only work, parent and - shocker - EXERCISE to be physically and mentally fit parents - only to be relegated to the 'yeah, but your kid's not as special as mine' bleat.
As I said previously, I sympathise with parents of children with additional needs, but there are some on here who are making it increasingly hard to do so.
ALL children matter, to consider yours to be more so is Orwellian in the extreme.

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Everyone already gets free transport to the nearest suitable school where it's beyond 2/3 miles away. Free transport isn't exclusive to send children.

Soashamed60 · 05/01/2026 22:53

Shame on you for not going to work. Do you even have a job op?
Some of us have worked non stop through Xmas without a break, and still have to go to work today! 🤣
This was the theme of a lot of the replies to a silimar thread yesterday. It must be a different set of pp commenting tonight. In yesterday's thread about enjoying having the house to herself on the first day back, the op was flamed by a few for apparrently not working (she does) & for daring to enjoy a bonus lazy day to herself!
Enjoy the time to yourself op, make the most of it 😀

RudolphTheReindeer · 05/01/2026 22:55

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 22:11

So would you agree this should be a universal offer? There are many, many disadvantaged people, children and families that don't meet the disability criteria. Free transport for all school and college-aged people, equal holiday packages year-round so those that previously took advantage of 'off-peak' now are accumulated into the £000s a week, subsidised heating, care and respite provision, activity and post-19 education- is that something you would be willing to sacrifice your carer benefits for?

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carer benefits of a whole £83 per week. I imagine most would happily sacrifice them if it meant their child didn't have a disability so they could work and earn more. And yes if it meant all disadvantaged children could be better provided for, including the disabled children who rarely get even their basic statutory entitlements as it is, I'd happily give it up then too.

Kirbert2 · 06/01/2026 03:59

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 22:11

So would you agree this should be a universal offer? There are many, many disadvantaged people, children and families that don't meet the disability criteria. Free transport for all school and college-aged people, equal holiday packages year-round so those that previously took advantage of 'off-peak' now are accumulated into the £000s a week, subsidised heating, care and respite provision, activity and post-19 education- is that something you would be willing to sacrifice your carer benefits for?

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How much do you think carer benefits are?

SweetnsourNZ · 06/01/2026 04:28

BoredZelda · 05/01/2026 11:12

Or, the Local Authority has a duty to ensure equity amongst pupils, including safe routes to school. If a parent of a non disabled child can wave their children off to school from the front door, equity means the parent of a non disabled child can do the same.

The Lical Authority spends “preposterous amounts” of money collecting people’s bins. Every area has a waste collection centre. Would you suggest that anyone who can take their rubbish to the tip should do it? They spend “preposterous amounts” of money feeding school children. Would you suggest anyone who can, sends their children with a packed lunch? Or is it just the parents of disabled children who should be ashamed of using LA resources, legally required to be provided for them?

My daughter is disabled and despite being only 5 minutes (up a massive hill) from the primary school, was entitled to a taxi. I preferred to take her myself as I could make sure she was settled properly. This meant leaving 20 minutes earlier than I should have needed to, in order to run the gauntlet of non badged cars using the few disabled spaces, bringing her to the door and waiting another 10 minutes for her to be taken inside. In order to do that, I had to adjust my working hours and take a pay cut. At the end of the day, my husband needed to be at the school at least 30 minutes early in order to pick her up, or there would have been no disabled spaces available. That’s an hour of the day wasted sitting about. It isn’t as simple as just having the means to do it, drop off for any kid is chaos. Adding a disability in to it is horrific. Daughter gets a taxi to high school. I have zero guilt in using that service.

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Nor should you. If it wasn't needed it would be available. Some sn children do better being picked up from home also, but struggle with being left at school by their parent.

SweetnsourNZ · 06/01/2026 04:45

x2boys · 05/01/2026 11:56

My son has always gone to a special school and always had transport its very different to mainstream, with parents ambling up to the school gates and having a leisurely chit chat ,the school staff for a start are all geared up to get the majority of the children off all the different minibuses, the children all have significant learning disabilities so this can be a challenge, they dont need parents coming to school in dribs and drabs dropping the children off its like a milliary exercise .

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I think the teachers prefer it too as they don't get parents wanting to talk to them while they are getting children with different needs settled.

SweetnsourNZ · 06/01/2026 04:48

Crocodocodile · 05/01/2026 12:09

Bloody hell, fastest i have ever reported not ONE but TWO goady fuckers after a reading a thread.

Enjoy your very well earned day of rest OP! 💐

Believe me, parents of sn children are well used to this sort of thing. Along with the unsolicited advice, opinions and anecdotes. It does sting sometimes though. Thanks for your kindness.

SweetnsourNZ · 06/01/2026 04:56

LondonLady1980 · 05/01/2026 14:17

Good for you OP!!

When I woke up this morning and saw the snow outside I was grimacing at the thought of having to get up and take my youngest son to school.

My eldest son is in secondary and his school doesn't go back until tomorrow, and so this morning he told me to stay in bed and he said that he’d get up and walk his brother to school so that I wouldn’t have to leave the house and go out in the cold. I was sooooooo tempted!!! I didn’t though as I would have felt guilty for making my eldest son go out whilst I stayed home wrappped up in my quilt 🤣

Ignore anyone who is having a pop at you on here for not taking your child to school yourself….if anyone else had offered to take my youngest to school for me (including a taxi coming to pick him up) then I would have bitten their hand off it meant I could have stayed in bed 🤣🤣

And you deserve that treat for raising a great son. 😉 Enjoy

usedtobeaylis · 06/01/2026 07:04

bittertwisted · 05/01/2026 19:23

I agree tbh
i have a disabled child who went to school in a taxi because I had 2 other children I had to get to school, and a job
i hated it, would have done anything to take him myself
he started doing a club on a Friday so I got one chance to go and pick him up from school, highlight of my week
taxi transport is approximately £140 a day per child just so people know

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So fucking what?

usedtobeaylis · 06/01/2026 07:10

PennySweeet · 05/01/2026 17:32

I've always wondered this too.

Even if a person can drive, it's often assumed they can afford to.

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And if they can people complain about mobility allowance and the motability scheme. Apparently they will also complain about the cost of taxis as if the parent of disabled children are responsible for that. And apparently will complain about a mother of a disabled child having a well deserved rest.

A snide, punitive, society that wants the most meagre existence possible for anyone who isn't exactly the way they think people should be.

Take all the lazy days you can get OP and enjoy the fuck out of them

usedtobeaylis · 06/01/2026 07:14

RunsABit · 05/01/2026 22:11

So would you agree this should be a universal offer? There are many, many disadvantaged people, children and families that don't meet the disability criteria. Free transport for all school and college-aged people, equal holiday packages year-round so those that previously took advantage of 'off-peak' now are accumulated into the £000s a week, subsidised heating, care and respite provision, activity and post-19 education- is that something you would be willing to sacrifice your carer benefits for?

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Everyone has a school in their catchment area, sometimes multiple schools. Not everyone has a suitable special needs school in their catchment area. Don't be a dick all your life.

Kirbert2 · 06/01/2026 07:33

usedtobeaylis · 06/01/2026 07:10

And if they can people complain about mobility allowance and the motability scheme. Apparently they will also complain about the cost of taxis as if the parent of disabled children are responsible for that. And apparently will complain about a mother of a disabled child having a well deserved rest.

A snide, punitive, society that wants the most meagre existence possible for anyone who isn't exactly the way they think people should be.

Take all the lazy days you can get OP and enjoy the fuck out of them

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Exactly.

I have a motability car so I can drive my son to his (mainstream) school, various appointments etc but people complain about that too because it is allowed to be used as a family car or the car is too 'fancy' for their liking.