To not feel the slightest bit guilty

[IainWithTwoEyes]

about being back in bed all cosy, now that ds is away back to school in his taxi?
The house is lovely and quiet, and im under the duvet eating a box of heros. Staying here until he arrives home at 3.30 😃

Absolutely nothing unreasonable, OP. Enjoy your hard-earned duvet day. I've gone down to four days a week at work as of this week, no more Monday morning stress for me! I'm up and about now, but only just. My four-day week is in preparation for retirement next year: I've been in paid work for more than 40 years, including while I was bringing up my DDs mostly as a single parent, so I don't have the slightest guilty twitch. Enjoy the rest of this freezing cold day under the duvet. Cheers!

Sounds delightful. Enjoy!

Enjoy your well-earned duvet day OP!

I wish I could catch some of that positive attitude. My DS2 is disabled, although not physically (autism, ADHD, epilepsy, moderate learning difficulty) & I had my aunt quizzing me yesterday about why I only work 18.5 hours per week, and not doing an exercise class and making my own violin.And telling me all about how her wonderful DGC is on a county sports team & learning 2 languages & all sorts of other wonderful things. Whereas it's an achievement if DS2 makes it through a week without a seizure or hitting one of us 😬

Exactly the same here! My kids went off to school in their taxi at 7.40am and I got back into bed until 12 😳. I’m not working until tonight and just needed it, either my heated throw and audiobook!

Thats good. Fair play.
Its so much better when we have a society that takes care of those who need it.
After all, you never know when it might be you.
Its good you recognise this and how lucky you are.

She has a disabled child. Quite often, a parent must become a sahp when they have a disabled child as sufficient childcare is simply not available at a reasonable cost. The OP is most likely saving taxpayers a lot of money by staying at home instead of working. What they get in benefits is no where near what it would cost the taxpayer to provide carers to a disabled child so mum can work. Do you not understand that? It’s a shame if education failed you, but don’t take it out on other people just because you don’t understand the economics of funding and caring for disabled people.

I appreciate that parents of children with disabilities have a hard time, but I have voted YABU because this comes across as a self-congratulatory boast when other, equally exhausted parents have got up this morning, walked or driven a school run, or seen their child onto paid transport, and are now barely halfway through a working day before going home to an evening of all the chores that face those that don't work.
By all means enjoy your day, but don't crow about it.

Oh no, another tedious “I fund you” poster.

How exactly are you funding OP?

I never feel guilty about staying in bed but then Im 81 and have done my share for the community.

Good for you OP!!

When I woke up this morning and saw the snow outside I was grimacing at the thought of having to get up and take my youngest son to school.

My eldest son is in secondary and his school doesn't go back until tomorrow, and so this morning he told me to stay in bed and he said that he’d get up and walk his brother to school so that I wouldn’t have to leave the house and go out in the cold. I was sooooooo tempted!!! I didn’t though as I would have felt guilty for making my eldest son go out whilst I stayed home wrappped up in my quilt 🤣

Ignore anyone who is having a pop at you on here for not taking your child to school yourself….if anyone else had offered to take my youngest to school for me (including a taxi coming to pick him up) then I would have bitten their hand off it meant I could have stayed in bed 🤣🤣

Do you wanna swap? You can do all the hoisting, bathing, toileting and feeding for my 20 year old son on a broken night's sleep for £83.30 a week and I'll go and do your job.

OP enjoy your rest. I plan on doing exactly the same tomorrow once DS has been picked up for college. It's been a long 2 weeks!

I used to have a great career until my health went to shit and I had to give up work ☹️ I have lost all the benefits of having a stable job, I suffer every day from my illness and I take 5 different medications that make me feel like crap every day and I can never be cured. I am completely financially dependent on my husband, I am socially isolated, I have lost my independence and I don’t even recognise my life anymore.

But at least I have a lovely ‘non working life’
Woohoo!!!!
I’m quite happy to trade places with you though if that’s the kind of life you’d prefer to have?

You don’t know anything about the day to day reality of what OP’s life is like but I’m still pretty confident you wouldn’t trade places with her if you were given the opportunity!

So don’t be such an ignorant arsehole with your twatty comments.

Those "I fund you" posters really don't get it do they?

You get to stop work at the end of your shift and go home and enjoy your lives 90 percent of the time doing what you want to do.

I and the other carers on this thread, be it for their disabled children or the disabled relatives we care for are on call 24/7. We don't get evenings, holidays, weekends, nights off. We are on the go all hours needed, including into the night of our person doesn't settle or sleep and have the constant worries of checking/listening/getting not to sleep too deeply though exhausted I case we are needed in the night.

We are the expected to continue in what tiny bit of sleep we do get and are exhausted and save tax payers like you literally millions every year rather than hand our person into residential care.

My old next door neighbour was of the opinion that he paid for me to sit on my arse and would bang on the walls, scream insults and threats through, boom his music at all hours even though his now ex girlfriend had known us for 20 years before he was on the scene and knew the decline of the health of the person I am looking after and knew how difficult it was. She did nothing to stop him, thankfully they moved out and now it's a young family with 18 to mid 20s booming their music into the early hours instead.

Get off your high horse. We would much rather our person be healthy and NT and us be able to work than the lives we do have, but we have to make the best of what we do have and sometimes that's hiding under a duvet eating chocolate with the TV on in the brief bit of respite you do get.

Wow the attitude of some ☹️
My only criticism is op saying she doesn’t work - I imagine caring for disabled children counts as a days work!
I care for two elderly and unwell parents whilst not being very well myself and I usually feel that a day at work would be much easier.

How is lying in bed until 3.30 eating Heroes any kind of work?

You personally don't fund anyone's non working life
But woukd you like to swap lives with me so you to can have a " lovely " life and be the carer of severely autistic, non verbal 15 old whose cognitively around 2 or 3 and will never be independent 🤔
No i thought not.🙄

Did you miss the bit the Op is a carer for her disabled child ?
Its non stop 24/7 during the holidays ,do you begrudge her a few hours off ?

The soft office might be my new favourite saying!

its 24/7 for working parents with non disabled children too.

Do you not sit down and relax when not at work?
Thats what the OP is doing. Enjoying her time off.
Its not that complicated really.

i don't work I don't claim benefits either so can you tell me exactly how you're funding me?

I read it exactly the same!

No its really really not the same 🙄
Do your non disabled teenagers need full assistance with personal care and dressing themselves ,do they need watching over 24/7 to keep them safe
Do they need 1:1 assistance with everything they do ,do you have to try and work out what they want and are trying to communicate with you?
I could go on all day how its very duferrent.

I raised a disabled child (autism) and she's still living at home with me as a young adult (registered carer).
Yes I have down time, but not a whole day in bed.
I think it undermines hard working SAHMs and paid work mums.