To not feel the slightest bit guilty

[IainWithTwoEyes]

about being back in bed all cosy, now that ds is away back to school in his taxi?
The house is lovely and quiet, and im under the duvet eating a box of heros. Staying here until he arrives home at 3.30 😃

Should be having a day of peace and quiet but school shut due to snow.

Maybe op doesn't drive? Maybe the school isn't in an easy location to get to via public transport the joy of special schools is they are not in a catchment area and are often quite a distance from where the child lives

I'm doing the same thing op I need to decompress after the hols and I'm feeling under the weather so bed it is until dd comes home on her bus funded by everyone else apparently

“Shove them alone”. Really? Wind your neck in and have some compassion.

Did you clench your arse cheeks a little harder, whilst polishing your halo?

I'll bite, would you rather her child was in full residential care, that would cost you more?

To avoid mums like you I would think?

Good for you OP. I’m jealous too!

The OPs circumstances are EXACTLY why the welfare state was created - we're not all equal, some have it much tougher than others and the aim was to lessen some of that inequality rather than the perception that its a free ride for some.

Those of us who dont have it as tough and are able to work (because we're not carers as well as parents to disabled children) quite rightly pay more in, because we dont have the barriers to working that the OP and so many others find themselves in front of. By collectively coming together as a society to provide a financial safety net, we try to ensure that no-one is left behind. Those who need to access the support from the system are able to benefit from it - thats why payments from the state are called benefits.

Paying taxes and NI contributions isn't funding other peoples choices, it's about collectively contributing to the society we live and aspiring to achieve equality of opportunity for all. Your comment is the equivalent of sitting in a lifeboat, safe and dry, while telling people in the water to stop getting wet and drowning. Not very kind, as well as highlighting your own lack of understanding about the inequalities and barriers which exist in society.

I truly hope you have the day that you deserve, and OP - stay in that bed!!! You bloody deserve a duvet day xx

Jesus christ.
Im sorry your experience has made you bitter and lose any joy or kindness in your life.
Perhaps a few mornings in bed eating chocolate may have helped?

I well remember the relief when my son's special school reopened after holidays! I often went to a garden centre and ordered a pot of tea and a scone which I ate in peace and solitude. Enjoy your day OP!

I'm jealous to be honest, I took my 9 year old to school this morning in the freezing cold and snow just to discover it was a wasted journey because of a teacher training day that I didn't know about plus I've got a baby too no rest for me for a while haha enjoy your day

I’m the same but with my DH as we have flu! I’d rather be at work but am glad my son is at school so we can rest!

Yanbu im not in bed but im under a blanket eating maltesars with absolutely no plans of moving anytime soon

Childcare is work, cooking is work, cleaning is work. Mums have the equivalent of one full time plus two part time jobs!

You do work! Unpaid work is work.

This in spades. A lot of people on Mumsnet seem to forget that (which is ironic really!)

Yes you damn well do.

Me too. Although tomorrow I am going out for my birthday.

I do drive my disabled DS to his school. but fuck me it's hard having a disabled child with all the worries and fears for their future that exist. Like many parents I have had to give up work as I could not juggle my professional role with medical appointments; psych appointments; having to go and collect my son when he has a meltdown and either has to be coaxed out from under a school building or down from on top of it.

I have the fucking phrase 'check your privilege' but seriously if you begrudge a family getting a bit of assistance for what can be an incredibly hard situation then you should do just that.

Crack on op and take a well deserved rest x

Gotta love MN.

This is far better than being miserable, being kind to ourselves in January is really good practice

I’ve been out and busy since this morning. I’m now home, on the sofa under a duvet. I do have to go out again later but in the meantime I intend on taking root under the covers.

If you start a brand new year intent on bringing another parent down when you have personal experience of the challenges they face raising a disabled child then i dread to think what the rest of the year has in store for you and others on the receiving end of your bile.

Oh do bore off with your sanctimonious drivel. Like you know the OP, her child and their needs, likes and dislikes? 🙄🙄

Good on you OP!
Sounds marvellous, enjoy your duvet day

Good for you! You shouldn't feel guilty at all.

My son is also disabled and is supposed to be back tomorrow but his wheelchair doesn't like snow so will have to see if I can get him there (he's in mainstream).