To lie to the kids' school?

[Bananasinpyjamass]

My best friend is getting married in June, it is an overseas wedding.

I have two DC, age 6 and 8, and I would like to take them with us as I have no family that can look after them. The wedding is on a Wednesday, so I would need to pull the kids out of school Tues - Thurs to fly out and attend.

My plan was to write to the school and explain the circumstances, ask that we are granted permission to remove both kids for 3 days, however a friend who works in education has advised that we just lie and say the kids are sick, that the teachers won't care even if they find out we are lying.

I am worried about lying that the kids are sick then getting into big trouble when the kids inevitably return to school and talk about flying on a plane etc.

However I am also concerned that the school will decline my request to remove them for 3 days and we will end up being fined/going to court (I am not clear on the rules and process.)

Does anyone have any advice?

YABU = Don't lie, inform the school and pay whatever fine/penalty they put up
YANBU = Lie to the school and say they are sick, it will be fine

Your 6 year old will tell her friends and teachers everything the second she gets back to school. Don’t lie. School may not care much but they will think less of you.

I also appreciate it is not the schools that made the absence rules or set the attendance targets.

I would never lie to gain something by deception. The children would also have to lie and it teaches them that if you can't get permission for something you can do it anyway but lie.
Just tell the school the truth and if you are fined so be it. You probably won't be.

She’s right that teachers won’t care but wrong to say to lie. Just tell the school the truth, accept it as unauthorised and have a good time.

It will go down as unauthorised but you won’t get a fine for 3 days. IMO it’s a much better option than lying and the teachers knowing and having to make your children lie.

Don't lie. You won't get a fine for 3 days.

I just tell the truth and we have to fill in a form. DD would spill the beans and I’d rather not raise a liar.

I am not clear on the rules and process.

Would that not be the place to start? The “rules” differ country to country and school to school, so how can anyone here advise?

Don't lie. If anything, we need to teach children not to lie!
If you really want the children to go, just go.

Don’t need to lie, you won’t be fined for 3 days. It starts at 5 days.

I dont want my child to lie at school so I dont lie

You actually think op can find someone she knows & trusts to stay with them for 2 whole days? She's already said there's no family to ask

I am a teacher and my head would authorise this for a pupil.

I took my kids out of school for three days for a trip- we were honest about what we were doing and why and the teachers were all really supportive, although they were unable to approve the absence. They didn't fine as it was under the five days. It was so much better for everyone being honest, kids included.

Schools can and do change attendance codes - so illness is authorised this would be unauthorised (but under the threshold for a fine which is 10 sessions/5 days). Something like this 2 kids in the same family having exactly the same time off with the same symptoms would be a flag anyway

teachers by the way don’t do attendance there will be someone responsible (high schools it is a full time job) and data goes to LAs

Don't lie. ( As an aside I'm a teacher and other kids always tell me so and so isn't ill but on holiday. I do absolutely nothing with the info, but it does make me laugh.)

You dont answer to the school, why would you be in big trouble with them?

You are being sensitive, just say the kids are unwell and enjoy your time away!

Is children's other parent around (didn't like to say their Dad as you could be Dad and it your friend getting married)?
If yes, could you go and other parent stay home with the children?
Or, for 1 extra day, I would make a mini holiday of it, going Saturday and coming back Thursday, or going Tuesday and coming back Sunday.

I would be honest, lieing is a bad example to set. Unless you are off 5 days in a year then they wont fine you. They are very unlikely to grant permission unless very specific circumstances. My daughters school authorised 2 days when we went to DH cousins wedding which was brought forward due to grooms mum not having long to live and my girls were flowergirls. It was originally scheduled for school holidays due to bride being a teacher.

You won’t be fined for three days, only once it hits five days. Personally I’m not comfortable with lying either but the teachers have heard so many stories about Legoland/ holidays when kids return from being “ill” that they just roll their eyes and move on.

As other pp have stated, she doesn't need to involve her children in lying. She can take them out and it will probably be unauthorised but isn't really a problem unless the children have a lot of other absence.

I’ve always been honest, and still took them out !

They will know theres no way your kids won't spill the beans at that age and you the then you just look foolish and untrustworthy.
It's three days just tell the truth.

Teacher here. OP children always end up telling us where they went. Parents still take their children away during term time and just pay the fine.

Tell the truth.
If i've found out a persons lied about some I have a hard time believing anything they say thereafter.

Last year I took my kid out of school for a Friday and Monday to go to the Christmas markets in Germany. Was totally honest with school but got a really nasty letter back from the Head about attendance and the threat of the fine. My older kids had INSET so I was only taking one child out of school. The letter was totally over the top and pointed in tone. I could understand if they are regularly off or we were away for 10 days. If I do it again I would definitely lie. It's way less hassle.