To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

Why do you think they were ‘unsatisfied and still hungry’? I said everyone finished their curry, there was still some rice and a random samosa/ a couple of spoonfuls of saag aloo left (for anyone wondering, I didn’t keep those as there wasn’t all that much left). Everyone was offered pudding - cheesecake or Christmas cake - which nobody took up the offer of as they were all full from the takeaway.

Gosh, some posters are making hard work of this!

YANBU at all. The friend was being rude and greedy. The curry was yours.

Sounds like you have been a lovely and generous host throughout. Hope it is reciprocated!

I'll repeat exactly what I put on a thread last week...

Why do women worry about asserting themselves to a fair share and men have no problem taking more than their fair share?

Really think about that OP. You've hosted him nearly a week and instead of being grateful and gracious he's asked for more and doubled down when you said no to make out it's a you problem. He's an actual piece of shit.

I dont drink! I also am not arguing. Im saying if there was absolutely no other food left on thst table except the half a curry, then people were left hungry.

Im saying if there was absolutely no other food left on thst table except the half a curry, then people were left hungry.

Make it make sense.
😂😂😂

Sounds like you've got your own issues you're projecting there.... 🤔🙄

Only a man would feel entitled to want what was on his plate and also someone else’s. Bet if it was on your DH’s he would not have said a thing.

So no Lolabear38 does not share, especially with an ignorant, ill mannered, rude little man.

‘didn’t realise there was curry on offer!’ he says. Realised wrong greedy little man.

I probably would’ve turned round and said no I don’t share food when it’s fucking mine you ate yours last night greedy bastard.

If they were left hungry why didn’t they take up the offer of pudding?

Does it? How interesting.

Your logic makes no sense

Why are you arguing? Maybe they dont eat sweets? Maybe they wanted more Curry. Maybe they prefer fruit and Yogurt dessert, maybe they would have liked the cheese board to come out with crackers at that point. Maybe they weren't hungry. But we will never know.

Why do you think this, though? Genuinely interested, as it’s not a perspective I (or many others, judging from the responses you’re getting) understand. We’re all ‘people’ and it clearly wouldn’t be the case for us.

Is this a cultural thing, perhaps? I understand that in certain cultures, clearing your plate means you want more. Do you come from one?

Or maybe they just weren’t hungry.

Your the one who’s arguing with her over her own post trying to tell her what everyone felt when you weren’t even there your sat at home on mumsnet making up stories to suit whatever narrative your trying very hard to peddle.

You seem certain that your guests never leave hungry, why is it different for OP and she'll 'never know?'?

I’d have said “and DHs friend doesn’t put his hand in his pocket often” cheeky twat.

Just want to say good for you for eating it

I’m not arguing - I was asking a question.

According to you - empty plates means people are left ‘hungry and unsatisfied’ - you’ve been very clear on this and you’ve said it more than once. But after the Indian meal, which they finished, and by your definition were still hungry, they were offered more food and they declined.

Maybe they wanted more curry - but they had finished the curry they ordered. They didn’t ask for any more that night so I don’t think this can have been the case (they didn’t know that I was going to say no the following day so there was nothing stopping them from asking).

There’s a fruit bowl permanently out in the kitchen - and it was full - so they could have helped themselves to that.

Maybe they would have preferred cheese, or chocolate gateaux, or profiteroles - but as my mum always used to say if you’re that hungry you’ll accept what’s offered. Which they declined.

The entire point of the thread - which you seem to have missed - was something that happened the following day but for reasons I don’t really know you’ve decided that they were underfed, hungry and unsatisfied and you’ve taken this notion and run with it. So why are you arguing?

I honestly think it must be cultural.
So this bit does not relate to the OP and her post all.
Dinner at ours is like this. Table is set, cold cuts, cheese, bread are put out to eat as main meal is being prepared. Then main meal is served in the middle, everyone eats what they want, never in the history of ever has it been "finished". Then the fruit and yogurt comes out, usually with more cold cuts, cheese, biscuits etc. And on special occasions a cake of some description.
It is truly unusual for me to understand anyone having one plate of food.

That is so not true.

Why do you think if people eat all the food on their plates it means they are hungry? Surely they are likely to be satisfied or even full up?

If people clear their plates at your house do you keep bringing more and more food out and demanding they eat it?

Are they poor?

Not as far as I know, why?

This is not about whether people were hungry- it is about a man who fancied some leftover curry after, presumably, a few beers which washed down his pub lunch. guess he preferred it to what else was on offer.

He was outrageous before you put the curry on your plate and an absolute prat to carry on after you had clearly said and signalled that it wasn’t for sharing.

Agree that they should have paid for the take away! It’s expensive to host big eaters for five days!