To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

These types of threads always bring out the right weirdos

On the left we've got the classifiable feeder that believes if people aren't sat in front of a full plate of food weeping with gut pain then they're still hungry and OP is starving them (though they may only eat from sharing dishes in the middle of the table there is to be NO personal preference or dishes)

On the right we've got the people who believe OP should have gotten up at 2am to eat her curry in silence and secrecy so as not to offend because telling her to eat it at another time whilst she has houseguests there all day is bonkers

Fuckin cheeky bastard.
And how desperate of him to be rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of your leftover curry. I’d have told him to get on his phone and order himself one and a couple of side dishes for you while he’s at it the tight-arse.

Well said!

Just wondered why he's begging for your food. If you've said you wanted it then it'd have been gentlemanly to give it to you even if it hasn't been yours. As it was yours, he's a cheeky toad.

Sorry that this thread has become naively derailed from the original curry, but just to say my husband is also an AWFUL cook (my main argument for abolishing all male education is his lack of cooking skills) so we have a similar “chore” split. To others it doesn’t always sound “even” but we know it is. Like you, I enjoy cooking! If my husband has friends over I would definitely rather cook and clear up while he spends time with them and I can clear my head.

You are still arguing a point that the Op cleared up ages ago
She offered a choice of puddings and no-one wanted any.
Because they were full !

Maybe she preferred to be by herself in the kitchen clearing up while the group were elsewhere rather than having to socialise with them while her DH cleared up? I know I would prefer that. Nothing relaxing about sitting with a group of DH's friends after an evening of chatting to them. I would much rather potter around the kitchen clearing and cleaning by myself while they all finished the socialising bit elsewhere.

I’d rather die than host people for 5 days, and I don’t think that is overstating matters.

My DH is also an awful cook. He cooks for us once a week and he will go and buy a meal kit or make something very easy like bangers and mash which I do appreciate and I enjoy the one off effort but otherwise no, I don't want to eat his food. He and his kids cook once a week too but it's always pasta and I 'finish' the sauce (ie add things to make it taste decent). He has no idea about flavour or texture and gets experimental based on things he thinks he's seen me do and it's often a greasy weirdly flavoured mess so yes, I do it. I like my food, I'm fussy anyway and I am on WLI so prone to being turned off by a weird texture or flavour and I like having the control.

What a ridiculous response. Why are YOU arguing? Are you the only one allowed? 🙄

My brother-in-law one came for 2 days on his way somewhere else and asked if it would be alright to stop over on his way back again… he stayed four nights! I was livid!

So many obtuse posters on this thread OP, say the curry was yellow and they'd argue it was blue!

This 'friend' sounds like an entitled asshole. Why on earth would he think he should have the other half of your curry that you paid for?

It sounds like you've been an amazing host and I really hope you get treated as well when you go and visit them - but from the sounds of them i wouldn't hold your breath tbh.

It's not even that he asked for a taste, he said "I'll have that", implying he expected to eat it all. I guarantee you if she'd offered it he'd have tipped the whole lot on his plate. Some men just don't seem to understand the concept of a fair share when it comes to communal food.

@Lolabear38 you are getting some very bizarre responses on here - MN is getting more batshit by the day.

To your original point (hosting abilities, married life chore organization aside, although all sounds perfectly normal and reasonable to me!) the guest was reasonable to ask at the point he thought it was just part of the general leftovers available but rude once you’d explained that it was the other half of your curry from the previous night.

i thought everyone paid for the takeaway and the guests paid for pub lunch. Bloke just thought the curry was part of the leftovers (which technically it was). That’s why I’d have kept it aside and eaten it later.

The first ever meal my husband made me was “stuffed peppers” which was a raw red pepper half filled with wet, crunchy (not properly cooked) rice. He attended an all boys school with no cooking lessons and had been in catered halls all through university and was just discovering the kitchen.

He now sticks to pancakes and frozen veggie burgers with salad. That said, “salad” requires minimum 3 chopping boards because he chops everything and adds it bit by bit rather than tossing the salad at the end.

With this picture on your mind, imagine my shock when he first moved in with me and had a whole set of untouched fancy bakeware! It was a dream straight out of the Lakeland catalogue. I asked why and he said he once baked muffins and his mum bought him all this to encourage him in the kitchen! It didn’t work.

Some people on here really are absolute fannies. OP you have done nothing wrong, and if the arse face had said that to me, he’d have been wearing said curry!

You’re right - we paid for the takeaway and they paid for the pub lunch.

I think for me, it would be even more strange to have eaten the curry later? Someone suggested a little while back that I should have picked at the food I prepared for everyone and then gone back and eaten the curry once everyone was in bed. This is wild to me!

For one thing, they’ve been staying up until 11pm/12am every night so it would require me to stay up until then which I’m not prepared to do just to finish off my own curry!

Also, is it not strange and bordering on disordered to be secretly eating curry in my kitchen in the middle of the night so nobody sees me and I don’t have to share?!

Wow!! I would be absolutely delighted to have discovered this!

This

He was unbelievably rude, and not to take you out for at least a couple of meals and or takeaways during the stay is very rude too.

Some people are takers. He’s one.

You can be sure he will not reciprocate when you visit , pretty much guaranteed.

waste of a good curry

Well it would have saved this 🙂 In all seriousness I just think he smelt curry and assumed it was part of the meal, then made a stupid joke. Not that big a deal.
I wouldn’t have served myself different food, nor would I have snuck into the kitchen to secretly eat. Just left it in the fridge - surely they were leaving soon if they’d been there 5 days.

He made a stupid joke but then brought it up again at the dinner table insulting someone who had been feeding him for five days.

I read it all as one short conversation. The Lola doesn’t share food being the stupid joke at the end.

So you, @Twinkletoes127, are omniscient, and know better than @Lolabear38 - you know - the person who was actually there?

It sounds as if the chap who made the snarky comment has absolutely NO problem in asking for food, so I find it hard to believe he wouldn't have spoken up after the curry, if he wanted a different option for his dessert.