To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

I have not read about any crying or even arguing. Pretty sure her guests did not go hungry after she had catered for them for 5 days.

No one goes hungry in my house either

Nobody did that though

very Greedy.

Never invite them back.

I was responding to pp claiming that because it was all eaten, they were still hungry.

Though he did expect some of OP's curry the next day despite not sharing his own curry.

Would have been brilliant to give him a beaming smile and say “oh I’m so sorry, but I sneezed on it”

(would never be able to think of something like this to say at the time though!)

The hungry was the previous evening. When the plated were empty, and there was still food left over. To me, that indicates people were left hungry

I think that is a massive leap, @Twinkletoes127. The OP has clearly catered very generously during her guests’ stay, so it is strange to assume she would have underfed them on curry night.

You have clearly decided the OP is an awful host - mean and ungenerous - and will refuse to have your mind changed, even if @Lolabear38 comes back and says everyone was stuffed to the gunnels after their curries.

All food is put in tbe middle of our dining table and you take what you want. Every single meal, from cereal, to full Sunday roasts. So I think you were the rude one. If you wanted to keep that for you, you should have kept it for a more private meal time.
If people did that when we were share out a take away I'd lose out big time.
Im a veggie. Non of my friends, family.ily or colleagues are.

When food is shared at meals like this or at buffets the meat eaters can eat everything and always go for the veggie food as well as the non veggie stuff.

My previous manager made a point of saying I had to go first to make sure I got some food when we did a Jacobs join as she noticed on several occasions there wax nothing I could have except some soggy lettuce! 😆

No it really doesn’t. OP didn’t eat her curry, everyone else had their own curry plus sides. Leftover food doesn’t automatically mean people are hungry, on the contrary it means people have had enough and aren’t clamouring for more?!

I am 100% Team Curry for Breakfast (and indeed Team Dinner for Breakfast - I would much rather eat a plate of cottage pie for breakfast than a bowl of cereal).

I am on the fence because I 100% do agree with you that that was your curry and it's not on for everyone else to finish theirs and then expect to share the meal you didn't finish the next day.

However, tactically I would have anticipated that someone might ask for some and would have chosen (as I frequently do) to have my secret leftover curry for lunch whilst anyone I couldn't just tell to bugger off/stab with a fork if they came too close had gone!

So I don't think you were unreasonable to want the whole curry but I do think it was predictable that someone would have expected to get some of it because it was undoubtedly the best breakfast option and would inevitably attract dangerous breakfast envy, so the easier route would have been to save it until later.

People were left hungry because they finished their curries but OP didn't finish hers?

That makes no sense at all.

He needs to be asked to leave .
How rude .
I bet they have cost you a fortune , do they have to come back any time soon ?

The hungry was the previous evening. When the plated were empty, and there was still food left over. To me, that indicates people were left hungry
Well rude friend doesn't seem shy in asking for more food! It sounds like he just fancied more curry, not that he was hungry.

I’m sorry but this is absolute nonsense and you’re just making stuff up now. We’ve had plenty of empty plates and groaning stuffed guests over Christmas. I’m also a “put all food in the middle and let people help themselves” person in general. But when everyone’s chosen a particular takeaway and one person has some leftovers from it, I’d always assume that person has first dibs on it. And they’d just got back from a pub lunch earlier - I don’t imagine the guests were hungry.

Urgh, greedy fucker.

She didn't want it whenever. She wanted it then. It was her bloody curry and she had every right to eat it without some cheeky entitled sod making snide comments

Yanbu

Your friend was rude and greedy. They have definitely made themselves at home.

It was your curry. They should not have asked to share or commented.

I don’t feel like I was defensive there, a poster said something about me not liking the guests and absolutely nowhere had I said that. I didn’t like the comment that the friend made, but that’s different to not liking them.

Also - they are DH’s friends. I know them, but they are most definitely his friends. DH and I are both in our 40s, we met in our very late 20s and these guests are his university friends. We’ve never lived anywhere near them and I would say I’ve only met them a handful of times over the years (DH has seen them a lot more during that time as they have fairly regular meet ups, much like I do with my university friends). So yes, I stand by my classification of them as his friends and I’ve never said or intentionally implied that I don’t like them. I’m clarifying because this is Mumsnet and some people like to put words in others’ mouths to strengthen their take on a situation.

That's you, your take on it. Nothing wrong with what you think. Mine is different

Not for eating the curry yourself, but unreasonable for waiting on guests hand and foot and paying for everything for the last 5 days. What a liberty.

So in your view if people eat everything on their plates they are still hungry? The only food left over was half of the OP's curry which she had not managed to eat.

You seem to have some strange ideas

I think either on the sauce or just likes arguments.
Nothing Op has said indicates anyone went hungry
In fact the exact opposite

These greedy lazy shits are going to use you as a free holiday destination every year.

Tell them they need to stay in a hotel next time.

YANBU. Did he really expect you to share a half portion of curry? He was very rude.